[Copypasta] Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, Cattarian here

twitchquotes: CoolCat Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Kripp

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November 2014
Kripp

agontfConcern

⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⠕⠕⢕⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠁⣁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⡄⢑ ⢕⢕⢕⠅⢁⣴⣤⠀⣀⠁⠑⠑⠁⢁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⢔ ⢕⢕⠕⠀⣿⡁⠄⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⠤⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡟⠀⢔⢕ ⢕⠕⠁⣴⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣇⠐⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠐⢕⢕ ⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠐⢕ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠐ ⢄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢕⢔⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢄⠈⠳⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⡍⢭⡍⢨⣯⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⠀⠈⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⠁⢠⣾⣶⣾⣭⣖⣛⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢕⢕⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇ ⢕⠕⠀⠼⠟⢉⣉⡙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣛⣭⡴⠶⠶⠂⠀⠿⠿⠇
May 2022
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

Emote

Every stream must be filled with spammerino

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Well Met, I am summoned by the Lord of Spammerino. Kripp. Spammers I see chats in twitch where people talk casually. Commenting about games. Trying to learn and have fun. Every time I shed a tear when I see this... WE Will not stop! Until Every stream is filled with spammerino no modderino Unite Spammers ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing