[Copypasta] Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

GME investor thinking what they will do after they're rich

If all this plays out as the DD states (it will), the system is going to be bled so bad it's going to make the recession look like childs play. Even if it's a fraction of the maximum damage some of the highest end DD states, we are still going to breach numbers beyond our wildest dreams. I think it is important that you take more than a few moments to yourself to recognize the gravity of that kind of lifechanging occurrence. Personally, in my dream world after all this is over, I'd like to imagine the following scenario: Apes gain enough money to impart systemic change on a global scale. We have apes from literally every corner of the world in this play. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if a scientist on Antarctica was in on this. That is a global redistribution of wealth. This isn't just the US that benefits. The Europoors are here in droves, I've seen posts from a Phillipino trying to help his dad and a South American who cobbled together 3 months wages to buy 1 share of Gamestop. ONE SHARE FOR THREE MONTHS WAGES! Imagine that level of poverty disparity for one second. That person is going to come into that global economy money. If she held out to the top end, imagine what kind of change she could impart on her community to help invest in infrastructure, businesses, technology. Things that are lacking in her neighborhood. I live in Mexico (but am American) and personally, I would love to use the money to help fix Mexico's sewage problem so we can finally drink the tap water. Maybe these projects can't be done on a governmental scale. You'll be helping a percentage of your community that you can afford with the money you have. But, if everyone, and I mean everyone, who made money off this play used it to invest in their communities, imagine the growth? The World Health Organization said that it would only cost $30 billion dollars to fix world hunger. What if we get trillions? Individually, across the entire world, we could grow just about every nook and cranny of society based on what we know for our respective territories. Remember the age old issue of "starving children in Africa"? As an American, we literally hear that all the time from our parents if we don't clean our plates off. It's like making a joke of a serious issue that has gone ignored for god knows how long. Maybe the wealth that gets transferred to individuals in Africa will be more effective than the money that is being used now for infrastructure and societal projects in those regions because they actually care because they're a regular, empathetic, caring person. I don't know what all the current problems are in the world. Media is not a very good outlet for communicating all the problems in the world because there are just TOO MANY. but I know what the current problems are in MY area. Really, as long as you're investing in other people who do these things because they have more expertise, that is totally fine. Playing the stock market is actually a really good way to vote with your money. Just contribute back. So, in my perfect world, none of you bought actual lambos (well, maybe treat yourself if you end up one of the $500 million/share moonshotters). None of you bought mega mansions or $100,000 watches. You lived an upper modest life, because you deserve that for having the cohones to play this play. You don't support those industries that cater exclusively to people who have so much money they'd rather buy something monumentally expensive than be more mindful of their environment and try to improve it. Imagine if all of us just became more asshole rich people? The people we used to hate because all they did was buy luxurious items while the world burned around them. What you did was you were maybe a Flint, Michigan resident and you helped fix the plumbing to some degree, but got the city to pay you based on the water usage. You were a resident where power is inconsistent and you build some solar panels and charged the city for their use. You were a citizen where food is sparse and poverty is immense, and you invest in farms and you sell locally. Whatever you're passionate about that's a problem in your area. And not just that: We continue our immense collective power to amass information on stuff that's important that will also make us a shit load of money (because the more we make, the more we can fix our own problems). I really hope we don't see a day where the DD stops flowing. We can't let such an information engine die after this. Can you imagine what knowledge we'd find if we dedicated our efforts on learning something else like we did with GME? Going further than my previous example, I would love to see a world where there are focused mega-projects we decide to work on as an investigative unit. Dig into theories of why they're not working, what could be done to improve it, and who can or is doing it so we can financially support them (assuming they have sound business models). I'm definitely writing this stoned off my tits, so maybe this will be just the musings of someone who likes the stock, but it felt like something worth talking about because I'm not sure we'll get another opportunity like this for generations. I can't even really think of the LAST massive citizen wealth distribution we had and frankly, I'm too lazy to google it, but it was a long ass time ago I'm sure. I'm just really jazzed about all this. It feels like a giant ass step forward for humanity, if I'm being honest (and again, really stoned. In fact, the longer I write this, the more stoned I'm becoming). I feel like the world powers lost their grip on control for a moment and you know what? Everything is alright. Maybe one day we will actually ease up on all this conflict and start working together as a species. End rant. Lord. If anyone actually reads this, I'll be surprised xD. Edit: Oof. Just read this nasty piece of news: https://futurism.com/the-byte/scientists-mass-extinction-organisms-flee-equator What if this becomes our next project? Fix the environment, one city at a time. Thanks for joining me in my musings Edit2: You know what I'm gonna do? When I get my tendies I'm gonna hire some software coders and web designers to make a site that tracks the perceived importance of issues, voted on by the people and link them to subreddit communities for people who want to help. You might have to look at some ads, so I can keep it free, but it could be a nice way to rally the world to certain causes or act as a metric for world notice/care/importance.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

sodaG

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⠒⢄⡀⠄⠄⢹⣄⣇⣀⣸⣷⣄⣦⠈⡿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣙⡦⠒⠹⠄⠇⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣀⣠⡞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠞⠛⠉⠉⠋⠄⠿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⠄⠄⣴⠟⠉⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠿⠉⠁⢀⣀⠴⠄⡸ ⠄⢰⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠄⠄⢀⣴⠞⢻⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠁⠄⠄⡰⠁ ⠄⠄⡻⣿⣿⣿⠿⡡⠃⠄⠄⣼⣇⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠊⠄⠄ ⢀⠎⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢠⣿⡇⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡜⠄⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠯⠭⠚⠁⠄⠄⠛⣣⣦⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢇⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⣿⣯⡟⣾⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠔⠒⠒⠋⣽⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠒⠤⢄⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⡄⢰⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021
sodapoppin

Only the chosen one can wear the the tick antenna

Only the TheTick chosen one can wear the the tick antenna like a man TriHard . Can you give another person the antenna TheTick liek this or cry like a little baby scrub WAAAHH. ? But BabyRage wait! , 2 TheTick antennas are for pussies , Chosen One stacking PogChamp master can do 3 . No no no no TheTick another bro can stack 4 of it ALL AT ONCE WHAT A Jebaited GOD ! The real chosen one is always me .
twitch chat
September 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing