[Copypasta] Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream

twitchquotes: "Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

ME ICEFROG ME SPAM NO 700 IF BAN

twitchquotes: OSFrog ME ICEFROG OSFrog ME SPAM OSFrog NO 700 OSFrog IF BAN OSFrog
twitch chat
December 2016

Dota 2

Squid

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘(●)β–’β–’(●)β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon when security asked him a question and he refused to answer unless they gave him $4.99
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing