[Copypasta] Instagram Black Squares

twitchquotes: My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
June 2020
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Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player

twitchquotes: SMOrc Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player. Whatever is going on in your laddering right now, please know that you go face and you only ever go face. You are skilled. SMOrc
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

And youโ€™ve been, GNOMED

twitchquotes: Ho ho ho ha ha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚, ho ho ho he ha๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ. Hello there๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ‘‹, old chum๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต. Iโ€™m ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ g'not ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธa g'nelf๐Ÿง๐Ÿ‘Ž. Iโ€™m ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธg'not๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ a g'noblin๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘บ. Iโ€™m a g'nome๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿ˜!! And youโ€™ve been, GNOOOMED๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ!!!
twitch chat
September 2018

Emoji Pasta

As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

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