[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
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Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... 👀🌮🎉 but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco DICKS 🌯 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you're gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 with a huge stick 😳🎉 but ❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you'd cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you'll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

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Holiday

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
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June 2017
Kripp

Shaco

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⣉⠛⢦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠐⢉⡉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⣠⠶⠛⠋⠁⠉⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠈⠻⢶⣤⣀⣀⣽⡆⠘⣿⠇⠀⢸⠀⢀⣠⡴⠞⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⣀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠃⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⣺⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⡗⢦⣀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣤⢚⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠰⠀⢻⠳⢾⣯⣸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠘⣡⡖⢻⠃⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⠀⢷⠀⡈⠻⣿⠀⠀⡠⠚⠀⢷⠃⢰⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢆⠘⡄⡁⢀⠉⠦⠊⣁⠴⢁⠄⠐⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣆⠈⢇⠨⠉⠰⠈⠁⢀⠏⠀⠰⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠹⡇⠈⢧⡀⢠⠀⣠⠋⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⠿⠇⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2020

League of Legends

The Manny Will Not Be Televised

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠸⡆⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⣹⣿⠧⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⣠⠴⠶⠶⠆⠀⠟⣉⣍⡛⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡏⠰⢇⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⠷⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠋⠉⠙⠗⠀⠰⠽⠿⠅⠀⠀⠘⠒⠚⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⣆⠀ ⢸⡇⠛⠙⠃⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡿⠀ ⠀⠙⠒⠒⢺⡇⠙⣝⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⣶⣶⣶⢶⡶⠶⠶⠤⢤⠤⢤⠤⠤⠤⢴⠶⠚⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠋⣀⣉⢙⣇⣀⣀⣀⣼⠀⠸⣄⣀⣀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⢠⡞⠿⣽⡿⢉⡿⠋⣀⠉⡉⠻⣄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⢦⡀⠷⢿⠀⣾⠁⣸⠃⡶⢘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⡈⠉⠉⢋⣙⣻⠵⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Oop gotta sign a petition
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July 2020
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