[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Emoji move emoji review

twitchquotes: A 👌 whole 💦 town 🏪 of 💦 beings, 👀 confined to 💦 feeling 😜 one 😤 emotion their 🍆 entire 👏 life. 👤 That 😐 could 🔒 honestly 👏 be 🐝 the 👏 focus of 💦 an 👹 entire 👏 movie, 🎥 but 🍑 in 👏 the 👏 emoji 😂 movie 🎥 that's 😦 just 👏 the 👏 world 🌎 they 👥 live 🙅 in, 👏 and 👏 yet 😇 these 👈 beings 👀 don't 🚫 question 😩 it 💯 and 👏 carry 🔛 on 🔛 their 🍆 lives 📴 as 🍑 normal... 😐 the 👏 emoji 😂 movie 🎥 takes 😉 a 👌 far 🌌 more 🍗 subtle 🙈 approach 😜 meaning critics probably 😻 didn't 🚫 notice the 👏 strong 💪 existential themes present 💲 in 👏 the 👏 film upon 👦 first 👆 viewing.
twitch chat
July 2017

Emoji Pasta

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019

Android logo

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ascii art
August 2021

Complexities behind classical music

twitchquotes: Chat doesnt understand the complexities behind classical music. While most of chat spends their days spamming "Kappas" and such, I study music theory and the works of Bach and Mozart. Musical masterpieces such as these are not easy for the average person to comprehend, and certainly above those that chat.
twitch chat
July 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

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