[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Football

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⡀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣷⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠈⠻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⡦⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠻⠂⡀⠺⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣧⡈⠋⣠⡈⢻⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⡦⠈⠠⣦⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠺⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣦⡀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠈⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
October 2021

Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
November 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

POWERING UP PORTAL ONLINE

twitchquotes: <(-O-)> POWERING UP <(-O-)> PORTAL ONLINE
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Corridor creeper nerfed

twitchquotes: 🐛In the dungeon I go deeper🐛in set reviews I was a sleeper🐛when minions die I get cheaper🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm 3 attack weaker🐛
twitch chat
September 2018

Hearthstone

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing