[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

level 2 power spikes not level 2 power drops

twitchquotes: Hello. This is the admin of SKILL-CAPPED.COMβ„’. We hired you to show viewers level 2 power spikes not level 2 power drops. Please start fulfilling your contract or we take your house.
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness

twitchquotes: Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness: we want you to know you are forever banned from our facilities. We understand you take your workout seriously, but what you and your "friends" did in the showers had no cardiovascular value. I know you said you were "working each others glutes", but we both know that's a lie. What you did with the curl bar was disgusting, and our staff is STILL trying to scrub lubricant and bodily fluids off the ceiling. We have added a "Caleb Alarm", don't return.
twitch chat
January 2020
Calebhart42

KappaPride

xQc is bad at RP

twitchquotes: i've been watching xQc since pog champs 3 but after watching this disgusting attempt at "RP" i cannot support this streamer anymore, i am unfollowing and sending clips to NoPixel Staff Immediately
twitch chat
February 2021
xQcOW

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Megaman

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing