[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Do you even βšβ–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβš

twitchquotes: KRIPP do you even βšβ–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβš
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Man i love bull markets

Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. β€œDennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. β€œGet back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked β€œTop Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. β€œWe will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Morons will copy anything if it's long enough

twitchquotes: Morons in this chat will copy anything you say if it's long enough. They won't even read the entire message. They just see a paragraph of text and instinctually copy it and paste it as if they wrote it themselves. It's actually sad how brain dead you people can be, copying and pasting things that have no meaning only because it caught your attention. FailFish
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

Text-to-Speech Playing