[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Things are looking up for me (and down for you)

twitchquotes: I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

I can see you

⠄⠠⢀⠐⡀⢐⠐⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠐⠄⠂⠐⠈⠠⠑⠨⠢⡊⠔⡐⠄ ⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠈⠨⠠⡁ ⠄⠈⠄⠄⡀⢂⠠⠐⢀⠂⠠⠈⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⠄⠂⡀⠄⠈⠐ ⠄⠄⠄⡂⡐⠠⡂⠅⡂⠌⡐⠈⠄⠨⢀⠂⡁⠌⠠⡁⡂⠅⠌⠄⢂⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⠢⢨⣶⡾⢷⣦⡅⡂⠅⡡⢁⠂⡂⡂⢅⢑⣴⣾⠾⣮⣌⢐⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⢊⢿⡏⠡⠂⢽⡗⢌⢂⠢⡁⠪⡐⠄⢕⢸⣿⠑⠡⢸⡿⢐⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠅⡢⡙⠿⣾⢼⠟⡕⡑⢔⠡⡊⢌⠢⡑⡑⡌⡻⢷⢷⠟⢍⠢⡁⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠌⡂⡪⡑⡆⣇⣣⣱⣸⣰⣱⣜⣬⣪⣬⣦⣣⣎⣖⣔⣕⢅⢕⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡑⣬⣺⡾⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣟⣿⣽⣿⣻⣿⣾⢿⣻⣿⣻⣯⣿⣲⢅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢪⢗⣯⡏⠙⣯⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣽⣾⣿⢷⣿⡿⣿⣻⠝⢓⡷⡯⡣⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠈⢝⢞⡿⣦⡀⠙⠯⢿⢷⣿⣽⢿⣾⢿⡯⡟⠏⢁⢤⡿⡝⡕⠁⠄⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠝⣗⣟⡷⣤⣀⣁⠈⠈⠉⠊⣁⡠⣤⢶⣻⢽⠱⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠸⠹⠽⡽⣽⣻⣻⣟⣟⣷⣻⢽⢫⠣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠣⢣⢓⢗⢳⢹⢸⠸⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄I CAN SEE YOU⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
January 2021

My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
August 2017

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021
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