[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

Troll face kid

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–β–„β–„β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆ
March 2021

hi im greek

twitchquotes: hi im greek... as you probably guessed in m name.. plz have respect for this comment and read on.. if ou don't like it plz dont hate. My economy is not going well and effing Germans are trying to take over so I need help. Bjerg promised for every subscriber 0.0000199 % money would go towards me. Thank you for my message and plz subscribe bjerg... he is the best and better ( not german even better!)
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Missing shots

twitchquotes: πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β € β € I got him β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β €β €β € Pepega ▄︻┻═━一 β € β € β € β € β € 🦌 β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ β € β € β € β € β € β € πŸ’₯ σ €€
twitch chat
February 2021
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