[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, proud brony here

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 Hello Kripp, proud brony here. I was just wondering if you could played the "dreadsteed" deck as it reminds me of my waifu Twilight Sparkle. Thanks, it would mean soooo much to me (βœΏβ˜―β€Ώβ˜―βœΏ) 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

STFU

β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€ β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β‘žβ »β €β ›β’»β‘Ÿβ ›β €β‘žβ ‰β €β‘‡β €β’Έβ €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β ³β’¦β €β €β’Έβ‘‡β €β €β£§β£€β €β‘‡β €β’Έβ €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β£¦β‘Όβ €β €β’Έβ‘‡β €β €β‘β €β €β’§β£€β‘Όβ €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œ β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β €
August 2021

My Kripprecious

twitchquotes: They cursed us. Casual they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept, Precious, we wept to be so alone. And we forgot the taste of ARPGs...the sound of grinderino...the softness of our gaming chair. We even forgot our own name. My Kripprecious.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)

My daughter is dating a douche-bag I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man. The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands". I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me. Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Inferno and cobblestone chickens

twitchquotes: I think inferno and cobblestone need to go. In these maps chickens are killed recklessly and without remorse. Chat keeps shouting 'PETA' but no action is taken. I think we need to take them out of the competitive map pool to put a stop to this slaughter and show we are serious.
twitch chat
April 2016
Summt1g

CSGO

Text-to-Speech Playing