pokiW IM SAFE PogU
I used to be a real ad
More Simps Copypastas
I am not a simp.
twitchquotes:
And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. Iβve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simpedβ never simped for a girl. Iβve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not Iβm a simp. Well, Iβm not a simp. Iβve never simped for any girl Iβve got. I am not a simp.
twitch chat
Simps
nature has molded females to become a holy being
nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting π¦ for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
Simps
Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up
I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up.
The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers.
But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan π) role of boyfriend/guardian.
But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you...
BACK OFF...
This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
Maya
Simps
Oh, so you support your girlfriend?
twitchquotes:
Oh, so you support your girlfriend? You simp. Okay Homer SIMPson. You absolute simpanzee. OOO OOO OO OO EE EE OO π <- that is you. You are nothing but sludge . You are putrid muck given form, weakness personified. I am not sympathetic. You are simp pathetic.
twitch chat
Simps
Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle
twitchquotes:
Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, itβs a lifestyle π« a reason to breathe π€² an escape from this evil world filled with thieves π Itβs art πΌ the first gift you open on Xmas π a hug from a loved one π€ everything youβve ever wanted love π everything you need ππ₯Ί
twitch chat
Pokimane