[Copypasta] I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you

twitchquotes: I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you, and so is my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is very ugly. And so are you. These are facts. Debate me.
twitch chat
July 2020
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More Copypastas

This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat (Kripp specifically). This chat is pure, unadulterated, 100% stupidity. Nobody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that aren't even good. THIS is why I'm turning off chat and will just watch the professional gameplay. And I swear to god, if any of you copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
November 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school, the kid you bullied for 3 years. After I got transferred to another school I had huge self-esteem issues and never made any friends. I turned to league of legends, the only game that made me feel special at silver elo but when I found out you're the top league streamer I got flashbacks from when you bullied me. There is no justice in this world. I am going to end it all now I hope you are happy..
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

BibleThump

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November 2014

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

KekHands

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣶⣄⡀⣀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⡛⠿⡇⢚⣽⣿⣟⡻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⣾⣸⣿⣿⣒⡹⠟⢛⣉⠐⢖⢃⣵⡖⠂⠒⠲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡐⣫⣿⣿⣷⡿⣠⡻⢿⣾⣯⣶⡤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⡿⢃⠛⣲⢉⣩⣭⠬⠭⠭⠥⠬⠭⠽⠜⠆⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⠄⡇⣴⣰⢰⡇⣿⠘⣧⢹⡆⠇⠃⢸⣸⡇⠄⠄⠄⡜⣷⡰⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣀⣇⡉⡍⡄⣶⢰⡆⢰⢰⡆⣄⡄⡴⣿⠇⢰⣦⠄⣿⣸⣧⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⣻⣿⣟⣃⡛⣘⢃⢻⢘⢃⣌⣼⣿⠃⠄⡀⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⣔⡺⠯⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⣿⣿⡻⣔⢷⣯⣿⣘⣿⢘⡌⣿⠏⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣙⣛⣒⣒⣒⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⡧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣷⡈⠻⣿⡟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

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