[Copypasta] I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you

twitchquotes: I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you, and so is my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is very ugly. And so are you. These are facts. Debate me.
twitch chat
July 2020
https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/1280716475897184256
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)

The other day, it was β€œtake your kid to work day” at my dad’s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldn’t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, β€œIs this the Among Us but real??” My dad replied β€œNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.” As we entered the building, my dad said β€œSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.” He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said β€œDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?” However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled β€œExecutive Meeting Room”. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me β€œHey buddy, are you lost?” I noticed that his nametag read β€œHugh Johnson, CFO”. β€œDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?”, I asked. β€œNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!” He was yelling at me. So I said β€œYou’re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have a… HUGE JOHNSON?! That’s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!” I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said β€œWanna play some Among Us guys?” The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said β€œYoung man, go back to the first floor now!” But the sexy woman I just couldn’t listen to as I admired her. β€œNo, because you have big tits.” Her jaw dropped, and she said, β€œYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!” She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said β€œDo you like what you see?” Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. β€œI’m so hot~~~~” I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldn’t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Rainbow Dash

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€ β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
ascii art
November 2014

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/201β–ˆ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

Mad Bomber Diary

twitchquotes: Mad Bomber Diary 11/11/14: Dear Diary, Kripp has played me 200th time today, he always keeps me for his greediest plays like I'm one of his prosterinos. I shall take this torment no more, I demand that he coins me out on an empty board like an honest minion from now on. Pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Incorrect Dongerhood, Sir

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIRΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
April 2014
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing