[Copypasta] Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020
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Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female PokĆ©mon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible PokĆ©mon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3ā€03ā€™ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means theyā€™re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, thereā€™s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so itā€™d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other PokĆ©mon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: Iā€™ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious itā€™s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what heā€™s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao Iā€™m outta here
twitch chat
November 2020
Aurateur

Wow! I love Verizonā„¢!

twitchquotes: Wow! I love Verizonā„¢! Iā€™m glad that the internet is so free! Isnā€™t it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! Itā€™s really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed Iā€™m sure they wonā€™t abuse it! Thank you Verizonā„¢! I love Verizonā„¢! Donā€™t you love Verizonā„¢?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizonā„¢! Canā€™t you see theyā€™re protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Donā€™t you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizonā„¢! Thank you Verizonā„¢! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying ā€œthis is whatā€™s best for a free and open internetā€ and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

So Aurateur, letā€™s have a talk.

twitchquotes: So Aurateur, letā€™s have a talk. I strongly feel that your channel would do better if you turned off TTS or at least filtered out the spam. Thing is, while I myself have never donated to you or any other streamer, and my only subs are twitch prime, I feel I know a thing or two about how to succeed as a streamer and Iā€™m certain your channel would do better without all the spam, itā€™s clear nobody wants that shit and is the only thing holding you back as a fulltime streamer. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post

You fucked up kid. As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post. Once I have triangulated your position in the world, my PS3 will release to your router my very own Pandora box virus. You won't notice it at first, but soon your lame PC will begin to work against you in ways you can't even imagine. First your graphics card will start to emit the flu virus, your ram will be uploaded online so everyone will be able to use it, your motherboard will slowly secrete acidic resin which will fry the electronics. The processor will be fine, just to give you hope. You will be left with a husk of a machine, all because you decided to critique my mental ability... was it worth it? Not even your mummy can help you now fuck boy
January 2021

Classic

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