[Copypasta] Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid!

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan May as well not even bother! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan And Still my pyramid sucks so very much! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan I really am the worst!
twitch chat
July 2020
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Leifman, please go back to work in the salt plant

twitchquotes: Stop it, guys. I'm Leifman's sister, and mother of our beautiful little daughter, Leifgirl. The spam and constant harassment in this chat is driving my beloved Leifman insane. Since he became moderator, he's spending all his time here, and can't provide for his family, anymore. Please, Leifman, get back to work in our salt plant, we need the money.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

I sexually identify as Harambe

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Harambe

I sexually Identify as

My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad

twitchquotes: (◉ ͜ʖ ◉) Hello! My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad! (◡ ͜ʖ ◡) I just lost another tournament (º ͜ʖ º) But it's okay, I'll be a whiny baaby and complain about my luck
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
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