[Copypasta] Type KEKW to send laughter and positive vibes

twitchquotes: ────────────────────────────────── TwitchVotes The streamer needs your help, chat! Type KEKW to help support him by sending laughter and positive vibes his way! ──────────────────────────────────
twitch chat
August 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Topdecking and Wrecking

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ I ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ, ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴀᴄᴇʏᴛʀᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ " ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴ' ɴ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋɪɴ' " ᴋᴀᴄᴇʏᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀɢɪʀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

People need to stop referring to Agilities as Disabilities

twitchquotes: People need to stop referring to Agilities as Disabilities. He is a very skilled player who has worked hard to get to where he is and you're all just disrespecting him by calling him that.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Banana

twitchquotes: banana, you're a banana. are you feeling sorry for yourself? well you should be cause you are fruit, you make me sick you big banana.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing