[Copypasta] Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

You are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza

twitchquotes: "Kripp my son," say the Papparin, "you are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza." But the Kripp don't respond. He elopes to Greece and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Succubus. Alone in his heart, Papparin commits sudoku at a Starbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Chemical Vegan

twitchquotes: Sugar! PJSugar Spice! PJSalt And everything nice! OhMyDog CoolCat KappaPride These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect streamer. But Professor Reynad accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Vegan! Thus, the Kripp was born! BabyRage
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Yamas! This is Mr OpieOP's Greek Restaurant

twitchquotes: Yᴀᴍᴀs! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴍʀ. OpieOP 's ɢʀᴇᴇᴋ ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ. Fᴏʀ ᴀ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟy, yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ ᴛᴢᴀᴛᴢɪᴋɪ ᴩɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴜᴍ sᴇʀᴠɪɴɢ ᴏF ᴏᴜᴢᴏ Fᴏʀ ᴏɴʟy 4.20 $! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴏFFᴇʀ, ᴛyᴩᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ "Opie OP" (ɴᴏ sᴩᴀᴄᴇ) ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ. sᴇᴇ yᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Failed as a pepperino pizza

twitchquotes: Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing