[Copypasta] I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Ben Brode purifies Anduin

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Anduins soft dirty blond hair. "If I do this, will you make me great again?" Anduin asks as he starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Anduin nods as Ben Brode slams his Temple Enforcer into Anduins 0/5 lightwell. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Anduins face.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's skill and knowledge of Hearthstone is incredible

twitchquotes: Wow Kripp, your skill and knowledge of Hearthstone is truly incredible. Never before in the history of humankind has any person been as good as you are at this game, at this moment, with this deck, against this opponent. You will, you must win the game. There is nothing that can stop you now.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

But then came Casualstone

twitchquotes: Know, O Chat, that before the rise of the Succubus, there was an Age undreamed of, where difficult bosses lay spread across the games - World of Warcraft, Diablo 3, Path of Exile. Hither trod Kripparrian, mightiest gamer in the land, to crush the bosses beneath his feet. But then came Casualstone.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing