[Copypasta] spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021

Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp?

twitchquotes: Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp? And I'm referring to when Kripp gets Deathwinged in Arena (topdeck) on a 0-2 run after his Mad Bomber missed lethal against a 1 Health Mage with an empty board, who had just used a Shadow Word: Death discovered by Kabal Courier on his Bog Creeper, but not before the opponent used Flamestrike on his board of buffed Doppelgangsters, and then one more time after he just played Onyxia (who then got Ice Lanced and then Shattered).
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

salty

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Smoke weed everyday

twitchquotes: ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┫┃╭┳━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━╮┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰╯┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━╯┃┃┃┃╰╯┃╭╮┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━━┻┻┻┻━━┻╯╰┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭╮╭╮╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┣━━┳━━┳━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰╯╰╯┃┃━┫┃━┫╭╮┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰╮╭╮╭┫┃━┫┃━┫╰╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╱╰╯╰╯╰━━┻━━┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮ ┃╭━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┳━┳╮╱╭┳━╯┣━━┳╮╱╭╮┃┃ ┃╭━━┫╰╯┃┃━┫╭┫┃╱┃┃╭╮┃╭╮┃┃╱┃┃╰╯ ┃╰━━╋╮╭┫┃━┫┃┃╰━╯┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰━╯┃╭╮ ╰━━━╯╰╯╰━━┻╯╰━╮╭┻━━┻╯╰┻━╮╭╯╰╯ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯
twitch chat
June 2016
imaqtpie

Bikini cleavage

ascii art
June 2021

NSFW

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing