[Copypasta] Jeff Bezos could give every person 1 BILLION dollars

Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!
October 2020
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

forsenStein

⡄⢿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⡇⣴⣿⡆⣿⢰⣿⢀⣾⡇⢀⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⠄⣼⢟⣴⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣦⣛⡫⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣼⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠟⠟⡠⢤⣀⡀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣌⣱⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣹⠿⠿⣫⣿⠁ ⣤⣤⣸⢟⣉⡙⢻⠦⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣯⣶⣆⣀⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴ ⣿⣿⣬⡿⢦⣤⠿⡛⢤⠄⣿⣿⣣⣼⡿⠟⢁⡀⡀⠄⠉⠛⠿⠿⡆⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⣰⡟⣸⣿⢡⣯⣍⣉⢭⣍⡳⠤⠴⢆⣤⢀⣿⡭⠍⠟⡫⢙⡿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣾⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⡎⣯⣽⣭⣻⣦⣩⣈⠭⠿⢻⠯⣊⣴⠭⣵⣿⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠸⠿⣿⠏⣈⣭⣹⣯⣷⣟⣻⡽⣿⣾⣽⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣼⠟⠋⠁⠒⠻⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢺⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣛⣥⠄⠒⣒⣒⣒⠓⠒⠚⣻⣟⠲⣤⠄⢹⣮⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⡳⢭⡭⢿⣽⠛⠙⠧⢭⣤⡤⢽⣦⣿⣿⣷⡝⠛⠛⠉⠄⣰⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡿⣿⣿⣶⡍⠉⠋⠛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⠄⢠⣶⣾⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠉⠙⣛⣯⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄ ⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx

twitchquotes: We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

pepegaClown

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠒⠄⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠉⠐⠠⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠔⠊⡽⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡤⠊⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡃⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⣀⠄⠄⢋⣭⣭⠭⣶⣬⡛⢋⣴⠟⣣⣬⣍⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣨⣭⣶⢋⣩⣶⣿⣶⠶⣦⡈⠁⣾⣿⠄⠄⠱⡄⠄ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡹⣿⣿⠁⢀⢸⣿⡄⢻⣿⣇⠄⢃⡿⠄ ⠄⠈⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⡇⠄⠋⣸⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⢉⠥⠖⠁ ⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣫⣔⣒⠻⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⡘⠷⣭⣭⣭⡭⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣵⣾⡧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡟⣍⠻⣷⣜⡻⠿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣦⣀⠄⢀⣠⡿⢟⣋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣧⡹⢿⣮⣙⡻⠷⢦⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⠭⢖⣚⡍⠁⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⢷⣤⣀⠄⠙⠛⠷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⡍⠉⠁⠄⠄⢀⠰⠛⠄⠄⠄ ⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⡻⠷⠶⢤⣤⣬⣭⣭⡭⠥⢤⣤⡤⠶⣊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⠻⠿⠿⢟⡻⠐⢃⠒⢥⣤⣄⢤⠠⢈⠂⣵⣶⣾⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⠂⠴⢞⠒⠒⡸⠐⢬⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Pepe

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