[Copypasta] Jeff Bezos could give every person 1 BILLION dollars

Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

You need a high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics. The intricacies of combat are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Kenjutsu most of the fights will leave those unprepared, dead and frustrated. There’s also the stealth aspects, which are deftly woven into the gameplay - this tactical approach draws heavily from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of the gameplay.
twitch chat
June 2019

Teamfight Tactics

mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021

A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! (uwu version)

a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo start the rescuwu hewicopter HEY nuzzles u Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!
December 2020

Lego City

Tanner from Highschool

twitchquotes: So you're going by "loltyler1" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

Classic

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing