twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
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Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp
twitchquotes:
I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
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Kripp
Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend
twitchquotes:
Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend. I dont know why she choosed a 5´6 peanut looking guy over me (Im a 6´7 College athlete and i bench press 500 pounds) but im glad she came around a good fella like you. Remember she like watching at sunsets and reciving chin kisses! Have a good one Buddy!
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Tyler1
I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)
This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
French word for grape is raisin
twitchquotes:
you know whats strange about english, you guys have a word for dried grapes: raisins. but the strange thing is that in french the word grape is litteraly raisin, but we dont have a word for dried ones, we just say dried grapes but in French so raisin sec BUT THATS NOT EVEN THE THE CRAZY PART because do you know what we call a bunch of grape together? a GRAPPE so a bunch of grape in french is Grappe de raisins 
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Undertale Annoying Dog
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