twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
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What happened to this ad? :(
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xqcSleeper
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xQcOW
Hi PL this is a story that I've been dying to tell you
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PhantomL0rd
FrankerZ
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PepegaPirate
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Pepe
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"