[Copypasta] eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: 10 years since Dota 2 update. I walk through the e mpty streets trying to think of something else but  I always end up sitting here, in front of my comp uter. I stare at the screen for hours and try to s ummon Icefrog. I watch other games updating and ge tting new heroes but it is no good. I counter pick  Sniper to resist the meta, but it's all meaningle ss. The end is near. Then I look on the patch-upda te history and cry myself to sleep.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

GivePlz

⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⡈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⢳⡄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠖⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢄⡙⠋⠻⡄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣩⠟⠟⠀⣼⣿⡄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣷⠀⠛⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣶⣄⠈ ⣏⣉⣛⣛⣛⣛⣥⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠟⠀ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢀⣼ ⡇⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣾⣿⣿
May 2019

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing