[Copypasta] eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

64 is cool, Melee is too, Ultimate will suffice

twitchquotes: <3 64 IS COOL <3 MELEE IS TOO <3 ULTIMATE WILL SUFFICE <3 SO LET’S BE NICE <3
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Hey, I noticed you were a female

Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Pakistan Official discord. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play mini games? I am a mini-game aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)
May 2021

Simps

Hitler's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Well Met Kripp. This is Hitler from 1940. I came here to recruit your mods to be officers in my third reich army. please no copy seig heil pasterino .
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

MODS

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing