[Copypasta] I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 3)

So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my dick and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my dick flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the “F word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

FREE CHAT FROM SLOW MODE

⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⡆⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣶⡿⠃⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⡤ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠛⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⠀⣴⠟⠛⠛⣷⡄⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢰⡿⢿⡄⠀⠘⠛⢻⣿⠛⠛ ⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⡇⠀⢀⣿⠃⠸⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠘⣿⣄⠀⢀⣴⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⣼⡿⠿⠿⢿⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠘⠃⠐⠛⣀⣀⡀⠈⠛⠂⠀⠘⠛ ⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⡆⠀⣰⡿⠛⠛⠻⣶⡀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⣸⣿⡇ ⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣶⡿⠃⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⠻⣧⢀⡿⢸⡇ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⡀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⣿⠀⢿⣾⡇⢸⡇ ⠀⠛⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠈⢛⣻⣿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠛⠀⠘⠛⠀⠘⠃ ⢀⣾⠛⠛⢻⣦⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠛⠛⢷⣄⠀⣿⡄⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⢸⡟ ⠀⠻⣷⣶⣤⣀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢹⣧⢰⡿⠘⣷⠀⣿⠃ ⢠⣤⠀⠈⢹⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⡀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠀⠘⣿⣾⠇⠀⢻⣿⡟ ⠀⠙⠻⠿⠛⠋⠀⠘⠛⠛⠛⣛⣃⡀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃ ⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⣰⡿⠛⠛⠻⣶⡀⠀⣿⡟⠛⠻⣷⡄⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃ ⠀⣿⠸⣇⢰⡿⢻⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⣷⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⠀ ⠀⣿⠀⢿⣿⠇⢸⡇⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢀⣾⡏⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠛⠀⠘⠛⠀⠘⠃⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃
ascii art
September 2020

Ben Shapiro LEGO city

Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY! This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?
December 2020

Lego City

Ben Shapiro

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing