[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? Iโ€™m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I took Kaceytron on a date

twitchquotes: Once lived a maiden with unmatched beauty, flowing black hair, her name was Kaceytron. She took care of an orphan, just a young CatCam, i decided i would still go for it. Took her out on a date and we ended in bed, now this is the point where the story turns sad. I expected nice boobies but couldn't be wronger, the girl was a boy with a 20inch DONGER
twitch chat
June 2014
Kaceytron

Moonmoon do it for yourself

twitchquotes: Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Slow mode, r9k mode, and randomly banning people, good job mods

twitchquotes: Boy, the mods in this channel have really done a bang-up job. When I first got here it was all cappuccino pasterino, but now that they're using slow mode, r9k and randomly banning people, we can finally have a productive chat without all the IDIOTS. Thank you, mods.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
August 2021

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp
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