[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018

Value Town was within reach

twitchquotes: Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, “Tuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. “He has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, “An absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Hearthstone

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

I Love You

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣄⠀⣀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠠⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣄⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡿⠁⠀⣰⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣧⡀⠀⠘⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⡀⠀⢰⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣷⣴⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣇⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣦⣀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

PepeClown

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡠⠤⠄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠒⠂⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⢖⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣛⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣾⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⠽⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣄⡈⠛⠛⠛⣛⣛⣳⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠤⣤⣖⡺⢟⣩⠥⢒⡊⠭⠭⠝⢑⣒⠲⠤⢭⢖⣪⠭⠜⠓⢒⣒⠒⠒⢒⣛⢷⣄⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⠞⠉⢀⣤⣿⡭⠷⡺⠚⠉⢩⣾⣩⡿⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠲⡠⠒⠁⠀⣴⣈⡿⠷⣦⠀⠈⠈⠙⠻⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠘⠓⠒⠲⡉⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣬⣷⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣿⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠓⣿⠶⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠂⠀⠈⠑⠠⢀⠈⢛⣿⣿⠛⠋⣀⡀⣀⠠⠐⠂⠀⢀⣀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣍⡀⠤⠤⠒⢊⡍⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢠⣄⣤⣾⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⡎⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡤⠤⠶⠦⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⢶⠛⠁⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣅⡀⠐⠦⣤⣤⣀⣈⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠴⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠳⠶⢤⣄⣉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⣀⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠋⠉⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠙⠦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠑⠒⠦⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⠴⠚⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠒⠦⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡤⠒⠒⢢⠖⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠩⠇⠀⠀⠀⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠜⠒⠤⠀⠐⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡄
July 2021

Pepe

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