[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Joker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⠂⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡅⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠈⠀⠉⠻⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠂⠀⠀⣿⡋⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⠓⣠⣶⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣫⡆⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⡤⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⠿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡿⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⣷⣌⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠈⡉⢹⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣆⠈⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⡇ ⣿⡫⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⢢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋ ⣿⣁⠄⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠬⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠠⠙
ascii art
September 2019

Could you help me find my dogs?

twitchquotes: Hey guys i lost one of my dogs :( Could you help me to find him? Please Type FrankerZ (Franker Z) Or RalpherZ (Ralpher Z) To find them! Thank you! The Twitch Chat is so intellectula! Kappa No Copypasterino Wufferino please!!!!!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
twitch chat
November 2020
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