[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1

July 2021

And you’ve been, GNOMED

twitchquotes: Ho ho ho ha ha 😂🤣😂, ho ho ho he ha🤣🤣. Hello there😃👋, old chum👴👵. I’m 🙅‍♀️ g'not 🙅‍♀️a g'nelf🧝👎. I’m 🙅‍♀️g'not🙅‍♀️ a g'noblin👺👎👺. I’m a g'nome🎅😁!! And you’ve been, GNOOOMED🎅🤣😂😂🤣🤣!!!

twitch chat

September 2018

Emoji Pasta

Pikachu

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ascii art

September 2016

Pokemon

Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.

twitch chat

January 2020

League of Legends

Is buttcheeks one word

twitchquotes: Is buttcheeks one word, or shall I spread them apart?

twitch chat

June 2020

[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

And you’ve been, GNOMED

Emoji Pasta

Pikachu

Pokemon

Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

League of Legends

Is buttcheeks one word

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