[Copypasta] Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.” “Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?” Stonks only go up. But you don’t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Valorant fanfic

twitchquotes: "Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.
twitch chat
October 2021
Hiko

Valorant

:3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣼⠁⠀⠈⣿⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⢟⣩⣾⠿⠋⠁⠀⢠⣴⣧⣤⣤⣤⣿⡏⠈ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠽⠛⠉⠀⠚⠉⠚⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠉⠂ ⣿⠏⢸⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀ ⣩⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠙⠳⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠙⠻⢿ ⠹⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢈ ⡀⠈⠂⡀⣙⢩⢿⡿⠝⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠻⣿⠃⠀⢀⡘ ⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣶⣶⠶⠟⠋⠙⢶⣤⣴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼ ⣮⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿
ascii art
August 2020
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