[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

Kripp invites Hotform to a friendly Fireside duel

twitchquotes: Hotform sees another invite to a friendly Fireside duel from Kripp and wants to move into fetal curl, but his hand is chained to the heater. Rania steps next to his laptop, putting dry bread and tap water down. “Come, Hotform, it is only 3 more hours today. You can even have some lettuce for dinner.” His eyes tear up while he accepts the invite and mulligans his hand, but then he sees Kripp’s first minion: Lucentbark. “No, nononono, please, please! Kill me! Just kill me! CHAT! CHAT HELP ME!”
twitch chat
August 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team

twitchquotes: Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8?

twitchquotes: Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym....
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing