[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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VapeNation Brain Power

twitchquotes: 👌 VΛPΣПΛTIӨП VapeNation 👌 O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A- JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA. 👌 VΛPΣПΛTIӨП VapeNation 👌
twitch chat
March 2016

Emoji Pasta

VapeNation

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

My Kappa is broken

twitchquotes: My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace
twitch chat
June 2017

Missing shots

twitchquotes: 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I got him ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Pepega ▄︻┻═━一 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🦌 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 󠀀
twitch chat
February 2021

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing