[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

DrDisrespect zoomed in

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⣻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠀⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠛⠻⡃⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾ ⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⠃⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⡀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⢸ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠉⠙⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⡏⠻⠰⠂⢴⠖⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠐⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⡿⡿⠿⢿⠿⠿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡄⠹⡟⠿⣧⠀⠀⠹⠿⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠈⡟⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⠞⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠤⢞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

Hyper improvement platform

twitchquotes: Micheal, in this brand new season full of unexpected challenges and adventures in the world that is solo q, what can I / We / YOUR VIEWERS use in order to maximise our game knowledge and as a result increase our chance of getting higher ranks, I need a hyper improvement platform man, hit me up!
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

sellout

League of Legends

Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing