[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Lenin

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠷⠶⢶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣶⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⢠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠏⠛⠛⠿⣷⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢦⣼⣿⣿⡔⣾⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⡟⢀⣤⣶⣶⠾⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⢛⡿⢿⣷⡶⠦⣤⣄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠃⠄ ⣶⢾⣿⠄⠉⠁⠉⠉⠄⠤⠞⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠄⠈⠄⠄⠁⠉⣽⠟⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡏⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠄⠣⡀⢀⣸⣿⠿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⢹⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠚⣛⡊⣻⣿⡛⠗⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡜ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢀⣴⣴⣿⣿⠿⢾⡻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⠁ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠳⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⡟⠃⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡀⡀⡖⣸⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠁⢿⣿⡿⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣴⠄⠰⣿⣿⣇⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠙⠿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣾⣷⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣶⣤⡈⠛⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⠿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
March 2022

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Spam this cheese to help Philly please

twitchquotes: StinkyCheese SPAM StinkyCheese THIS StinkyCheese CHEESE StinkyCheese TO StinkyCheese HELP StinkyCheese PHILLY StinkyCheese PLEASE StinkyCheese
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

Hey Sing_sing why did you say you can't kick allies when Envy kicked you from Cloud9

twitchquotes: HEY SING_SING WHY DID YOU SAY YOU CANT KICK ALLIES WHEN ENVY KICKED YOU FROM CLOUD9
twitch chat
May 2015
SingSing

Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma

FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing