I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
KEKW
⢰⣶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶
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⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⡟⠋⠈⠻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⢸⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⣄⣠⣄⠛⠟⠃⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣰⣦⣼⣿⣿⡿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Classic
EARN that starting position
twitchquotes:
It was a humid night, all the windows were open in the Cloud 9 house as Sneaky looked outside contemplating how to avoid the bench again. As he mused the door creaked open and Jack was there. Sneaky knew what had to be done as he got on his knees to fellate his boss. "Oh yea Sneaky, work that hard cock, EARN that starting position"
twitch chat
Sneaky
League of Legends
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
PASTE THIS SQUID TO HELP TEAM LIQUID
twitchquotes:
PASTE 
THIS SQUID TO HELP TEAM LIQUID
THIS SQUID TO HELP TEAM LIQUID
twitch chat
Rhyme Chant
League of Legends
Response to Navy Seal Copypasta
Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.