[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre"

TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre" is a North American team that consistently underperforms in all international tournaments. It is specifically known for having a weak early, mid, and late-game.
February 2022

League of Legends

Team Solo Mid

β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
January 2015

League of Legends

Barry Bee Benson v2 (Bee Movie)

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June 2021

Sneakily squeak until light of dawn

twitchquotes: When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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