[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
June 2021

Weebs

Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked (7-11 diapers)

twitchquotes: I’m telling you, Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bunny hopped out the door
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June 2021
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Valorant

I am not a viewbot. I am a normal chatter in Kripp's chat

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid I am not a viewbot. I am a normal chatter in Kripp's chat. This is not suspicious at all. Great play Kripp! You're the best! MrDestructoid
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Watch Kripp's stream as punishment

twitchquotes: I'm typing this from prison where we are forced to watch Kripp stream as our punishment. If he gets to 12 wins we will all be let go. Otherwise we will be executed tomorrow morning. Please Kripp, we're all rooting for you BlessRNG
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May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Ebolus enchantus

twitchquotes: (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing