[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Military intervention on the territory of Kripparrian chat

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノTHIS IS MILITARY INTERVENTION ON THE TERRITORY OF KRIPPARRIAN CHAT, WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT RUSSIANS IN THIS CHAT!! WE TAKING 1/3 OF THE CHAT OVER ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp releasing Hafu nudes cures man's ED

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021

forsenCoomer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⠋⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣦⣀⣿⣿⠿⢟ ⣿⣷⣬⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⠄⠄⣼⣿⣟⠙⢻⣿⠈⣴⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⠍⣫⡭⠉⠻⢿⣿⣧⢻⣮⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠿⢚⣱⣰⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠅⡀⠟⣱⣿⠿⠸⣿⣿⣧⡄⣤⡜⠛⣿⣿⣤⣀⣾⢘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⠖⣶⡇⣾⢏⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣥⡉⢳⣆⠈⠛⠿⠟⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢟⠶⣣⣾⣿⢇⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣙⣛⣛⣃⡺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠓⢁⣾⣿⡟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡹⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣸⣿⡿⢏⣈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿ ⣿⢃⣿⢛⣤⣾⣿⣿⣦⣍⡛⠟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣧⠘⣿ ⡟⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⣿ ⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⣶⠄⣿
December 2020
Forsen

Emote

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing