[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

Boomer anthem

twitchquotes: Please๐Ÿ˜ณ rise ๐Ÿ˜Ž for the ๐Ÿคจ national ๐Ÿ anthem ๐ŸŽถ of boomers ๐Ÿคช ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ Video Games ๐ŸŽฎ cause violence ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ, Phone ๐Ÿ“ฑ bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž, book ๐Ÿ“š good ๐Ÿ‘ I hate ๐Ÿ˜’ my wife ๐Ÿ‘ฐ Pause โธ๏ธ the Fortnite ๐Ÿฅ‡ please ๐Ÿ˜ค Funny ๐Ÿคฃ Facebook ๐Ÿ˜œ minion ๐Ÿคญ memes ๐Ÿคช
twitch chat
November 2019

Emoji Pasta

Hearthstone is 100% luck

twitchquotes: This game is 100% luck. Example: Today I am playing hunter. I arcane shot face turn 1 and he topdecks voodoo doctor like wtf canโ€™t deal with these lucky draws
twitch chat
January 2019

Hearthstone

What is inside that taco? Reynad's tournament wins

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull 0 TBCheesePull TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS LUL
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing