[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me

twitchquotes: When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me. I go down Kripp wet Kripp throat and am in warm Kripp stomach. Then I go deeper into the Kripp. I am made into Kripp gold. The Kripp sits on toilet and frees me. I am sad I am no longer Kripp food. Then Kripp eats me again.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Classic

Spy from tf2 disguised himself as demoman

twitchquotes: Bruh wharf if, if the spy fromb tf2 disguised himself as demoman to get an N-word word pass.
twitch chat
May 2019

I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021

BionicBunion

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–“β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–„ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–“ β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€
ascii art
November 2014
patashu

How can these trash players be considered pros

twitchquotes: How can these trash players be considered pros when they are always falling off the map?? Even I in Silver can at least not just walk of the map lol...
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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