This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
What happened to this ad? :(
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So I’m an AMC shareholder
So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
WallStreetBets
Dongerino Macaroni, President of Copy Pasta Industries
twitchquotes:
Hello, it is me Dongerino Macaroni, President of Copy Pasta Industries. We have received many complaints from your stream about the lak of copy pasta products your chat is using. As your sponsor, we suggest you supply your chat with more 
's or ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽'s to keep your chat up to company standards. Thank you for your time.
's or ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽'s to keep your chat up to company standards. Thank you for your time.
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imaqtpie
The salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound
twitchquotes:
Dear reynard. I was hiking in the Amazon Rainforest the other day when I was bit by a snake. Miles from the nearest city, I thought my life was over as the venom slowly spread across my body. But then I used my 4G to open twitch and the salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound and saved my life. Thanks Reynad!
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Reynad
But I believe Tyler1 can save the world
twitchquotes:
Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
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Yup, it's gamer time!
twitchquotes:
No women: check. No leftists: check. No minorities: check. Yup, it’s gamer time!
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