[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Blue Lives Matter (Smurfs)

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I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021

Hello Kripp, I am a casual player

twitchquotes: (เธ‡ โ—‰โ—กโ—”)เธ‡ Hello Kripp. I am a casual player who always managed to get 1-3 in arena. I wanted to know if you want to hire me, I could train you to be better in arena, and maybe one day, you could manage to have 1-3 as I do. My prices are 15$ per hour. Just PM me if you are interested. (เธ‡ โ—‰โ—กโ—”)เธ‡
twitch chat
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LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
twitch chat
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League of Legends

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twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing