[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Kappa wave

twitchquotes: ๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰:ใƒป๏พŸ KAPPA WAVE!!:โ€žรธยคยบยฐยจ ยจยฐยบยคKEEP THE KAPPANESS GOING ยธโ€žรธยคยบยฐยจ ยจยฐยบยครธยบ LETS GO KAPPAS !ยคยคยบยฐยจยจยฐยบยครธยบยครธโ€žยธยธรธยคยบยฐยจโ€ž รธยคยบยฐยจยจยฐยบ
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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–„ โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€ โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘
November 2014

I sexually Identify as an the sun

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twitch chat
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I sexually Identify as

My Kappa is broken

twitchquotes: My ฮšappa is broken WutFace My ฮšappa is broken WutFace My ฮšappa is broken WutFace My ฮšappa is broken WutFace
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My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)

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September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Text-to-Speech Playing