[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front

twitchquotes: Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
February 2020

KappaPride

Stop spamming your emojis

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I would greatly appreciate if you stop spamming your 'emojis'. I am trying to watch this stream in peace but you ANIMALS are disrupting my time. I will go to complain on r/DotA2 if you continue. Thanks
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

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twitchquotes: Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated as just "EU"
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

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Kripp needs to find a Romanian woman

twitchquotes: KRIPP! This is Papparian, your father! What is this I hear about marrying a Greek woman and making mini kripps with her??!! You need to find yourself a real full bodied Romanian woman, boy. One that can hand squeeze OJ and carry on our bloodline.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy πŸ¦ƒ Thanksgiving πŸ¦ƒ! Guess what πŸ˜―β“it’s that time ⏰ of year πŸ—“ to gobble πŸ¦ƒ gobble πŸ¦ƒ gobble πŸ¦ƒ up ⬆️ those dicks πŸ† chicks πŸ₯ and bicks 🀨 (big dicks) πŸ†πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜« I bet 😏 you’re all 😀😀😀 HORNY-copia 🌽 πŸ₯”πŸ₯•πŸŒΆπŸ†β™‹οΈπŸ‘€πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œ for SKANKS-giving πŸ€ͺπŸ˜”πŸ€€πŸ€€πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜πŸ˜ you’ll be saying πŸ’¬ thanks πŸ™ for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³ send this to πŸ”Ÿ of your thiccest sluts with those hot πŸ₯΅ hot πŸ”₯ tasty πŸ€€πŸ˜‹ peach pies πŸ₯§ πŸ‘ 😏😏 if you know πŸ€” what I mean β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜˜πŸ˜‹ if you get 1️⃣ back πŸ™„πŸ€¬πŸ˜‘ then you and that slut 🀀🀀🀀😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together πŸ˜”πŸͺΆπŸ• if you get 3️⃣ back πŸ˜ˆπŸ€‘ you’re going to get your turkey πŸ¦ƒ eaten πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ you will be eating your cousin’s πŸ‘ΆπŸ» peach πŸ‘ pie πŸ₯§ just like you’ve always πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―wanted πŸ˜‹πŸ€€πŸ₯΅ if you get 7️⃣ back πŸ›Ά you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim πŸŽ©πŸ‘ž and be the villain πŸ¦Ήβ€β™€οΈ of American πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ history πŸ“–πŸ“•πŸ“š πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜” if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🀯😱🀯😱🀯😱🀯 you’ll be feasting 🀀😏 this thanksgiving πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ in more ways than one πŸ˜«πŸ˜πŸ‘€πŸšΌπŸ’˜ okay you sexy πŸ˜‡ sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos πŸ¦ƒπŸ¦ƒπŸ¦ƒ it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➑️ atone 🀣for the sins ✝️ πŸ˜”of my ancestorsπŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘¨πŸΌπŸ€°πŸΌπŸ€±πŸΌπŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ
January 2024

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