This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
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More Copypastas
Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!
twitchquotes:
Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
Four Asians streamed together in harmony...
twitchquotes:
(`.Ā“) Trump. (`.Ā“) Amaz. (`.Ā“) MaSsan. (`.Ā“) Hafu. A few months ago the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when ( ĶĀ° ĶŹĶ”Ā°) Forsen's Snus Brotherhood attacked. Only (āŁĶā) Reynad, master of the Salt could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most - he was too busy complaining on stream. ( Ķ Ā°ŁĶ Ķ Ā°)
twitch chat
Kripp
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'āĻ3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
Your league knowledge is insane Jack and LS fanfic
"Your league knowledge is insane." Jack said, as he slipped his feminine hand into LS's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests LS, as Jack blushes, the boyish figure undressed before LS. "Weak gank attempt, Jack." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards LS places his Renekton into Jack's bottom lane.
imls
League of Legends
Wow! I love Verizonā¢!
twitchquotes:
Wow! I love Verizonā¢! Iām glad that the internet is so free! Isnāt it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! Itās really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed Iām sure they wonāt abuse it! Thank you Verizonā¢! I love Verizonā¢! Donāt you love Verizonā¢?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizonā¢! Canāt you see theyāre protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Donāt you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizonā¢! Thank you Verizonā¢! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying āthis is whatās best for a free and open internetā and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
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