[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Valorant censorship

At least you have the fucking balls to say it. Like in Valorant in the voice chat if you call someone a retard for being trash at the game and not using a mic, and he's a Russian player, you're "banned". Nevermind that the race of the player exists independently from how trash he is at the game. Obviously not all Russians have no mic, (correlation/causation), but this "all players are equal" political correctness bullshit is making it impossible for Valorant players to solve a problem they cannot discuss.
August 2021

Valorant

I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this..
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

4Head balance cans

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ  4Head
twitch chat
September 2016

This is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency

twitchquotes: Hi this is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency. I would like to inform you that we have detected the KPM (Kappa Per Minute) to be far below the minimum level of 100 KPM. Please fix this by typing Kappa or Kappa agents will be dispatched to donger this stream
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Hey Kripp, it's me Tom from VeganHub Enterprises

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it's me Tom from VeganHub Enterprises. I am sorry to say that your "VeganHub account" has expired and will need to be renewed. We suggest you try our "VeganHub Premium account" subscription. You can watch videos in 1080p ,60 fps, costs $12.99 and lasts you a year. You will also get exclusive access to videos such as, "Young Cob gets plowed", and , "Two lettuces, 1 knife". Since you are a loyal customer you will get a 10% discount this time.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing