[Copypasta] When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｔｉｍ ｈｏｒｔｏｎｓ， ｍｙ　ｈａｎｄ　ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｍａｐｌｅ ｇｌａzｅｄ． ｉ ｄｉｐ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｕｇｈｎｕｔｅｒｉｎｏｓ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｅｘ　ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｈｏｃｋｅｙ， ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｃａｎａｄａ　ｅｈ? 　ｓｏｒｒｙ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Brazilian No. 1 Futbol Player Eduardo Pasterinho

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! Iᴛ ɪs I, Bʀᴀᴢɪʟɪᴀɴ Nᴏ. 1 ғᴜᴛʙᴏʟ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ Eᴅᴜᴀʀᴅᴏ Pᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ. Aғᴛᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ɢᴏᴛ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴇʀᴍᴀɴ ᴛʀʏʜᴀʀᴅs, I ғᴇᴀʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ. Pʟs ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙʏ ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ ᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍʏ sᴀʟᴀʀʏ. Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ Ｏｐｔｉｍｕｓ Ｐｒｉｍｅ ｒｅｓｐｏｎｄｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｙｏｕｒ ｅｎｃｏｄｅｄ ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ． Ｗｅ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄ ｉｎ ｐｏｕｒｉｎｇ ｏｕｒ ｓｅｌｆ ｉｎ ＯＪ ｗｈｉｌｅ Ｔｏｐｄｅｃｋｉｎｇ Ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｂｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｔｈａｔ ａｎｙｍｏｒｅ ｂｅｅｐｉｎｇ ｗｉｌｌ ｌｅａｖｅ ｍｅ ｎｏ ｃｈｏｉｃｅ ｂｕｔ ｔｏ ｐｅｐｐｅｒｏｎｉ ｔｈｅ Ｎａｚｉ ｍｏｄｓ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN

twitchquotes: ᶤ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵏʳᶤᵖᵖᵃʳʳᶤᵃᶰ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp
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