SCP-██
Object class: ███
Containment Procedures: ███████████████████████████████████████
Description: █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████subject’s genitals█████████████████████████████████████████████
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
OWO
Can I mod your chat?
twitchquotes:
Can I mod your chat? I graduated top of my class in the US Navy kappa’s, I’ve been involved in numerous raids on Kripparrian’s chat with over 300 confirmed bans. I’m trained in copy pasta warfare and I’m the top mod on Twitch.
twitch chat
Kripp
MODS
After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...
twitchquotes:
After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
Reynad
I just screenshotted your NFT FAQ (Reddit)
I just screenshotted your NFT.
You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below:
# FAQ:
## Why did you screenshot my NFT?
I'm not going to tell you.
## Did you screenshot anybody else's NFTs?
You could say I am screenshotting everybody's NFTs, but in the case I am telling you that I screenshotted your NFT.
## How are you screenshotting my NFTs?
I screenshot when you post them on your profile.
## What are you planning to do with my NFTs?
Have them all.
## What do I do about you screenshotting my NFTs?
There's nothing you can do.
## When are you going to stop screenshotting my NFTs?
You cannot escape me.
## Do I call the police?
No. The authorities will not help you.
## What are the consequences of you screenshotting my NFTs?
Be aware.
## What if I am ok with you screenshotting my NFTs?
I will make sure you’re not.
If there are any more questions then please consult your NFT wallet by directly speaking to it.
## Summary:
I am screenshotting your NFTs.