[Copypasta] bad scp writers be like

SCP-██ Object class: ███ Containment Procedures: ███████████████████████████████████████ Description: █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████subject’s genitals█████████████████████████████████████████████
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Riot's MIGHT SPAGHETTI CODE of elo hell

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MIͫ̈́G̅̄ͭͧ̑̋͆H̃̄̾̃ͨ͒T̈̐ͨ̋͊ͮY̍̄̈́ ͨ̅̈́S̃ͣ͋͗ͩP̅ͯ̊̏̌A͐̒G̿HÊ̐͌T͂̿̑ͫTͤͮͧI̾͊ͥ̋͊ ̃̌Cͦ̽OͬͦD̎̏E͊ͨ̊ͯ͐ͣ̆ ͗͋̉̆ͦ̽o̔̑̐͊̃̆f̓͌ͬ ̑ͩͣͤel̉o̒ͬ͗ͤ̚ ͤͯ͌ͩh̿ͤe͒̋̒̄lͪ̎̾́͊l̀͋̊̚ has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
March 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. “Dennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. “Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked “Top Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. “We will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

7/11 was a part time job

twitchquotes: deIlluminati 7/11 was a part time job deIlluminati
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing