SCP-██
Object class: ███
Containment Procedures: ███████████████████████████████████████
Description: █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████subject’s genitals█████████████████████████████████████████████
I used to be a real ad
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Among Us crewmate
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Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics
Among Us in real life (sus, sus)
Among Us in real life (sus, sus)
Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew
Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do
Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage
Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage?
Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down
Then I find a dead body
Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe?
Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see
Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete
Who's the impostеr?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can wе trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter
I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher
I'm paying attention using my 360 vision
If it gets quiet, I listen
Make sure there's nothing I'm missing
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
It wasn't me (or me)
It definitely wasn't me
No one can be trusted because someone is lying
We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win
Everyone is sus so let this last round begin
There's an imposter among us
Trying to take something from us
We're still over here working
While she's just ghosting above us
Someone's under suspicion
Sabotaging our mission
Doing my task in the kitchen
Until I stop, look, and listen
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me
While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree
Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us
We can discuss whoever took your life
But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah
That's me holding this knife
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Among Us / Amogus
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.
Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
Ben Shapiro
Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon
Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon.
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