Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
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AITA for not going to my friendβs funeral home if he isnβt coming to mine?
So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot).
My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands).
I know Iβm right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Monitor always grey, need you to fix
twitchquotes:
βοΈπ 
HELLO? Computer repairman?? βοΈπ This is QT βοΈπ Monitor always grey βοΈπ need you to fix
HELLO? Computer repairman?? βοΈπ This is QT βοΈπ Monitor always grey βοΈπ need you to fix
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
Please don't use Kappa
twitchquotes:
I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
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In west Philadelphia born and raised
twitchquotes:
In west philadelphia born and raised in the twitch is where i spent most my days, Spamin copy pasta and acting like tool, just watching Kripp mess up like hes a fool. When a couple of Trumps who werent any good. Started copy pastin in my neighborhood. They got one little warning but that aint fair. They said show us some skill or im just gonna spam.
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Kripp
Please pray for Kripp's ears
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Kripp