[Copypasta] Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Allu is a tactical genius

twitchquotes: Allu is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic ”going B, but then benching AleksiB”. He also has a second little known tactic of ”going A, but then going home without any wins”. What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.
twitch chat
October 2020

CSGO

The Headbutts will be random

twitchquotes: "Tʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴅʙᴜᴛᴛs ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ" Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴅᴇᴄʀᴇᴇs. Aɴᴅ sᴏ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ғᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ sᴜʙs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙᴏʀɴ. Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛᴇᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙʀᴏʙᴜᴛᴛᴇᴅ. Sᴏᴏɴ ᴀ ᴡᴀʀ ᴇʀᴜᴘᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs, ᴀʟʟ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛʏ..
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

You think this takes concentration?

twitchquotes: You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
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