[Copypasta] Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

Your team is all washed up

twitchquotes: Rick Fox invites Shiphtur to his private island, and says to him, "I want you to play on my team." "But who will be my teammates?" Shiphtur replies. Just as he asks that, Dyrus, Scarra, Voyboy and Imaqtpie swim ashore. Rick Fox smiles as he looks towards the shore: "Your team is all washed up."
twitch chat
July 2017

League of Legends

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

I sexually identify as Harambe

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Harambe

I sexually Identify as

I can't believe it's already MLK eve

๐Ÿ’I CAN'T ๐Ÿ•ถ BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY ๐Ÿ’ƒM๐Ÿ‘L ๐Ÿ‘K ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ—ฃ EVE!! TONIGHT ๐ŸŒ› WE WILL GATHER ๐Ÿ‘ช WITH OUR FAMILIESโค NOT ONLY TO PRAY๐Ÿ™ TO MLK ๐Ÿ‘AND LET HIM KNOW๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ WHAT GIFTS๐ŸŽ WE WOULD ๐Ÿ˜šLIKE ๐Ÿ˜™ TO RECEIVE๐Ÿ† ON MLK DAY ๐ŸŒž BUT TO REMEMBER ๐Ÿ˜‚ THAT MLKโค IS THE REAL REASON ๐ŸŽถ FOR ๐ŸŽตTHE ๐ŸŽถ SEASONโœ” SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER TRUE MLK FANS๐Ÿ’ฏ OR YOUR BROTHERS ๐Ÿ™‹ AND SISTERS๐Ÿ™† WILL BE FOREVER OPPRESSED ๐Ÿ˜”
January 2024

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MLK Day

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