[Copypasta] Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

Patrick Star - I am back

──────────────────────── ─────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀───── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€I─── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β”€β–€β”€β–’β”€β–€β”€β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€AM── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€BACK ────▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▀▀▄─── ──▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─ β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€ ─▀▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▀─ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▀▀─────────▀▀─────
August 2015
Kripp

Commonwealth of Veganism

twitchquotes: We have claimed, for Electoral Vote purposes, the Commonwealth of Veganism (which won’t allow legal meat eaters) the State of Twitch, and the State of Kripparian, each one of which has a BIG Vegan lead. Additionally, we hereby claim the State of Lettuce if, in fact, there was a large number of secretly dumped carrots as has been widely reported!
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

Dongerino Macaroni, President of Copy Pasta Industries

twitchquotes: Hello, it is me Dongerino Macaroni, President of Copy Pasta Industries. We have received many complaints from your stream about the lak of copy pasta products your chat is using. As your sponsor, we suggest you supply your chat with more Kappa 's or ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½'s to keep your chat up to company standards. Thank you for your time.
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie

Sunglasses

β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘
April 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing