Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My kids were listening to Lil Nas X
My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
ＷＥＡＳＥＬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ＷＥＡＳＥＬ into twitch chat.
ＷＥＡＳＥＬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ＷＥＡＳＥＬ into twitch chat.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Test to see if a deck is good or not in constructed
twitchquotes:
here's the test to see if a deck is good or not in constructed: 1) does it have dr boom, 2) does it have sylvanas, 3) is it mech mage. if it meets two out of three criteria it is good
twitch chat
Trump
Falls Guys with boobs
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠿⣩⣵⣶⣶⣏⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣴⡿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡔⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣇⣈⣿⣿⣤⣽⣧⢰⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢠⣾⡙⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣮⣉⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄
⣰⣿⣍⡩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣈⠙⢻⣿⣇⢹⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠶⠈⢛⣿⣿⣧
⢿⣿⣿⢱⡿⠋⠉⣿⣿⠁⠙⠉⠄⣸⣿⣿⢸⣧⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠱⠾⠏
⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡈⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣷⣭⠙⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⣛⣫⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠄⠰⠿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
NSFW
Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure
twitchquotes:
Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat