[Copypasta] Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Iron Man v2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢄⢄⠢⡠⡀⢀⠄⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠡⠄⠉⠻⣻⣟⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢣⠣⡎⡪⢂⠊⡜⣔⠰⡐⠠⠄⡾⠄⠈⠠⡁⡂⠄⠔⠸⣻⣿⣿⣯⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢰⡱⣝⢕⡇⡪⢂⢊⢪⢎⢗⠕⢕⢠⣻⠄⠄⠄⠂⠢⠌⡀⠄⠨⢚⢿⣿⣧⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⡈⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡧⣟⢼⣕⢝⢬⠨⡪⡚⡺⡸⡌⡆⠜⣾⠄⠄⠄⠁⡐⠠⣐⠨⠄⠁⠹⡹⡻⣷⡕⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠇⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣻⣕⢗⠵⣍⣖⣕⡼⡼⣕⢭⢮⡆⠱⣽⡇⠄⠄⠂⠁⠄⢁⠢⡁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠺⢽⣳⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢔⢕⢌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣾⢯⢳⠹⠪⡺⡺⣚⢜⣽⣮⣳⡻⡇⡙⣜⡇⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠂⡀⢠⠂⠄⢶⠊⢉⡁⠨⡒⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡨⣪⣿⢰⠈⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣽⣵⢿⣸⢵⣫⣳⢅⠕⡗⣝⣼⣺⠇⡘⡲⠇⠄⠄⠨⠄⠐⢀⠐⠐⠡⢰⠁⠄⣴⣾⣷⣮⣇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⣷⣿⠪⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠂⠠⠄⡿⡞⡇⡟⣺⣺⢷⣿⣱⢕⢵⢺⢼⡁⠪⣘⡇⠄⠄⢨⠄⠐⠄⠄⢀⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣺⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣖⢯⣻⡑⢕⢭⢷⣻⣽⡾⣮⡳⡵⣕⣗⡇⠡⡣⣃⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣵⡿⣹ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣟⣯⢄⢤⢲⣺⣻⣻⡺⡕⡔⡊⡎⡮⣿⣿⣽⡿⣿⣻⣼⣼⣺⡇⡀⢎⢨⢐⢄⡀⠄⢁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠄⠣⠄⠸⣿⣿⣯⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⠲⡑⢕⢵⢱⢪⡳⣕⢇⢕⡕⣟⣽⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢜⢜⢬⡳⣝⢸⣢⢀⠄⠄⠐⢀⠄⡀⠆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⣝⢎⡪⡰⡢⡱⡝⡮⡪⡣⣫⢎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⢄⠄⠈⠑⠑⠭⡪⡪⢏⠗⡦⡀⠐⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡲⣝⢮⢪⢊⢎⢪⢺⠪⣝⢮⣯⢯⣟⡯⠷⠋⢀⣠⣶⣾⡿⠿⢀⣴⣖⢅⠪⠘⡌⡎⢍⣻⠠⠅⠄⠄⠈⠢⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⢺⢍⢎⢎⢪⡪⡮⣪⣿⣞⡟⠛⠋⢁⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⠋⢀⣤⢾⢿⣕⢇⠡⢁⢑⠪⡳⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠤⢀⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣟⣮⡳⣭⢪⡣⡯⡮⠗⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠋⣁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣗⡯⡳⡕⡕⡕⡡⢂⠊⢮⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠐⠨⢁⠨ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠯⠽⠐⠁⠁⢀⡀⣤⢖⣽⢿⣦⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢎⠇⡪⣸⡪⡮⠊⠄⠌⠎⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⢁⠉⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠚⠒⠵⣶⣶⣶⣶⢪⢃⢇⠏⡳⡕⣝⢽⡽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣺⠰⡱⢜⢮⡟⠁⠄⠄⠅⠅⢂⠐⠄⠐⢀⠄⠄⠄⠂⡁⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⠐⢒⣠⣿⣟⢖⠅⠆⢝⢸⡪⡗⡅⡯⣻⣺⢯⡷⡯⡏⡇⡅⡏⣯⡟⠄⠄⠄⠨⡊⢔⢁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢕⢇⢣⢸⢐⢇⢯⢪⢪⠢⡣⠣⢱⢑⢑⠰⡸⡸⡇⠁⠄⠄⠠⡱⠨⢘⠄⠂⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣝⢔⢅⠸⡘⢌⠮⡨⡪⠨⡂⠅⡑⡠⢂⢇⢇⢿⠁⠄⢀⠠⠨⡘⢌⡐⡈⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣯⢢⢊⢌⢂⠢⠑⠔⢌⡂⢎⠔⢔⢌⠎⡎⡮⡃⢀⠐⡐⠨⡐⠌⠄⡑⠄⢂⠐⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣯⠂⡀⠔⢔⠡⡹⠰⡑⡅⡕⡱⠰⡑⡜⣜⡅⡢⡈⡢⡑⡢⠁⠰⠄⠨⢀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣢⢱⠡⡊⢌⠌⡪⢨⢘⠜⡌⢆⢕⢢⢇⢆⢪⢢⡑⡅⢁⡖⡄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⣵⡝⣜⢐⠕⢌⠢⡑⢌⠌⠆⠅⠑⠑⠑⠝⢜⠌⠠⢯⡚⡜⢕⢄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⡣⣇⠃⠅⠁⠈⡠⡠⡔⠜⠜⣿⣗⡖⡦⣰⢹⢸⢸⢸⡘⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠋⢍⣠⡤⡆⣎⢇⣇⢧⡳⡍⡆⢿⣯⢯⣞⡮⣗⣝⢎⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣎⢦⠣⠳⠑⠓⠑⠃⠩⠉⠈⠈⠉⠄⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡿⡞⠁⠄⠄⢀⠐⢐⠠⠈⡌⠌⠂⡁⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢂⢂⢀⠡⠄⣈⠠⢄⠡⠒⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠠⠊⠨⠐⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Half watermelon wants to be full watermelon

twitchquotes: Hey guys i am half watermelon but to be a full watermelon i need people to roll like water melon. I hope you will help me become a full fledged watermelon. Me as a full fledged watermelon will not disappoint you and I will become the best watermelon ever. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games
Text-to-Speech Playing