Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
HERE COMES DAT BOI
twitchquotes:
βπΈβπΈβπΈβπΈ o *** waddup π here π² come dat bΰ¬ iπ²π² rightπ²π²th πΈ ereβββ dat πΈ boi βπΈ βif dat boi πΈ Ζ½ai so π― i sai so π― thats what im talking about right there π² o *** (chorus: ΰ¬ sΚ°αΆ¦α΅) mMMMMα·Ππ― ββO0Πΰ¬ οΌ―OOοΌ―OΠΰ¬ ΰ¬ Ooooα΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅β β β β π― πΈπΈπΈ ππ waddup
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
SLEEP TEST
twitchquotes:
SLEEP TEST π IF YOU TOUCH THE BED , GO TO SLEEP β 
twitch chat
Classic
Chat Test
why do they call it xbox 360?
twitchquotes:
why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away π π π― π₯
twitch chat
Kripp and G2A
twitchquotes:
"I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
Kripp
I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing
I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.