[Copypasta] Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Intellectual simp for Pokimane

twitchquotes: Hello, Miss Poki! I was scrolling through your page per usual and I happened to notice you take a plentiful amount of photos with your feet inframe and show them off quite a lot during streams. Is this on purpose? If so, please don't be embarrassed by my intellect! I think it is rather cute. I have subscribed to you for another month and was wondering if I could have secret access to some photos of your adorable soles? If not, I understand. You are a very busy woman and I am no more than a guy on the internet with a ravishingly high IQ might I add. Thank you for reading my message and have a wonderful day!
twitch chat
October 2021
Pokimane

Simps

i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent. Am I the asshole?

>hanging out with friend group >one guy facetimes some british slag he knows >i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent >say she sounds like hermione >Make some joke about earl grey tea >she says, "ask this fuck'a how you even make earl grey tea >Say, "toss it in the boston harbor" >bongchick gets all pissed off >friend asks me to leave Am I the asshole?
June 2021

greentext

British People

Bender

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September 2021

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

twitchquotes: I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

This new spam is FABULOUS

twitchquotes: ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āۜÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž KappaPride DAMN THIS NEW SPAM IS FABULOUS KappaPride ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āۜÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž
twitch chat
September 2015

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing