[Copypasta] Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021

Imaqtpie's father messages him

twitchquotes: Hola Miguel, it is me your father, Fernando Santana. I see you achieved a lot in your life and your seniora Lisha is a fine mamacita. When are you comin to Mehico?
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I watched your stream and went 1-3 just like you!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp I'm 12 and I'm your biggest fan! I saw you play Artosis last year at BlizzCon, are you gonna win BlizzCon this year Kripp? I heard you were good at Arena. I watched your stream and went 1-3 just like you!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

You guess it right, its Michael Santana

twitchquotes: my hairs too long, ResidentSleeper but not my bananna, ResidentSleeper you guessed it right, ResidentSleeper its michael santana ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

THE LEATHER CLUB IS 2 BLOCKS DOWN

twitchquotes: gachiGASM HEY BUDDY gachiGASM I THINK gachiGASM YOU GOT gachiGASM THE WRONG gachiGASM DOOR THE LEATHER gachiGASM CLUB IS gachiGASM 2 BLOCKS DOWN gachiGASM
twitch chat
February 2017

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing