[Copypasta] F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

DickButt

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August 2015

Tyler from the seven seas

twitchquotes: So you're going by "MOONMOON" now huh matey? Haha whats up scalleywag, it's Tyler from the seven seas. Remember me? Me and the fellas used to give you a hard time on the water. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the old scag you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I pillage over 200 isles a year and drive a cream interior sloop. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
December 2018
MOONMOON

Tanner from High School

Kripp suffers from Casualitis

twitchquotes: Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Among us crewmate running ass

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢙⣨⣥⣶⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣅⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⢀⡴⠟⠋⢉⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠉⠻⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣇⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⣼⡿⠟⠀⠙⣛⣬⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⠄⠁⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣀⠙⣛⣛⣻⠛⠋⣉⣢⣤⣾⠃⣰⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⢹⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠻⠇⢈⠁⠀⠀⠲⠠⠞⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⢤⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡉⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠐⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡇⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢃⡿⠿⠛⡋⣀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢁⣠⣿⡦⠐⠀⢈⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢃⣤⣤⡀⠻⣿⣇⣠⣴⡿⠄⠹⣧⡸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⡿⠋⣠⣤⣀⠈⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠅⣀⣈⠁⣰⣿⣿⡿⠋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣂⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣬⣅⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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