Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat
twitchquotes:
Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat and apron onto the beer-stained couch. He turns on the computer monitor which nearly blinds him, and light floods the room, revealing the months worth of pizza boxes and beers strewn about the floor. He opens Microsoft Edge. His fingers stick to the keyboard as he types "Kripp's stream" into Bing search, ready for another successful day of roasting Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
Tanner from High School
Please abide by the Reddit amendments
Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments:
• Big Chungus is funny
• Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ
• Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes)
• Fortnite is gay (gay = bad)
• Females are dumb while men are cool
• Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company)
• Minecraft is the best game ever made
• No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted)))
• Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong
• Reddit is the best social media
Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
Policeman that tries to give me freedom and liberty
twitchquotes:
(ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง) I AM AMERIFAG. I have a 9000% chance to get SHOT BY A POLICEMAN THAT TRIES TO GIVE ME FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the EUROPE (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง)
twitch chat
EU vs NA
Blizzard responds to blitzchung ban
twitchquotes:
The 💰 specific 💰 views 💰 expressed 💰 by 💰 blitzchung 💰 were 💰 NOT 💰 a 💰 factor 💰 in 💰 the 💰 decision💰 we💰 made.💰 I 💰 want 💰 to 💰 be 💰 clear: 💰 our 💰 relationships 💰 in China 💰 had 💰 no💰 influence 💰 on 💰 our 💰 decision.💰
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Twitch Chat containment solution
twitchquotes:
International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat