Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
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More Copypastas
Why is your cat at school today Kripp?
twitchquotes:
The teacher asked Kripp, "Why is your cat at school today Kripp?" Kripp replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Kripp leaves for school today!'
twitch chat
Kripp
A rabbit is a symbol of time
twitchquotes:
A rabbit is a symbol of time, like the rabbit from Alice in wonderland carrying a stopwatch taking Alice to a different place (and time). Tides picked a rabbit to suit his name, as another world (other waves) combined with the stopwatch actually combines into his name. Or maybe he just thought the rabbit was cute. Also, rabbits eat their own shit.
twitch chat
TidesOfTime
You aren’t like the other girls. You're built different
I have seen numerous people use this filter and I can confidently say that your rendition of the use of this filter is by far the best I’ve ever seen. You’re absolutely hilarious, very quirky, whacky, and unique. And you know you are all of those things. I just love how raw, unscripted, and genuine your reactions are whilst using this filter. No other person has ever posted something like this. It’s so refreshing to see someone as different yet original as you. As cliché as it may sound, you aren’t like the other girls. You were built different. And I applause you for that.
Simps
This is the shittiest reply ever
twitchquotes:
This is the shittiest reply ever. Fortnite requires movement, editing, building, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Fortnite. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
Fortnite
haven’t done assassins in a while
twitchquotes:
"alright, locket I guess” 
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
twitch chat