[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
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More Copypastas

I'm better than professional valorant players

Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
August 2021

Valorant

8th year without variety

📜 ✍ Sadge 𝓜𝔂 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝓽𝓸𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 8𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝔀𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓿𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓽𝔂. 𝓦𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓮. 𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓹𝓻𝓪𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓪𝓵𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. .
February 2021
Forsen

bestest tf

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is dongerino. I want to be the bestest TF just like OLDSCHOOL GG. I still work in banana factory as i m banana. I want to move to america land of FREEEEEDOM to live american dream. However i scared that best wukong reginald will eat me. Plz no copy dongerino my life story I got a dreamo al pacino stevo-o mike the situation sorrentino
twitch chat
July 2014
TSM_Reginald

League of Legends

its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021

Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing