[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Why does Kripp have the personality of an unflushed toilet?

twitchquotes: I don't get why Kripp has to have the personality of an unflushed toilet when he streams. At least when he's in mumble we can love to hate Cybrix. And a mumblebro or two spices things up. It gets old watching Kripp eat Greek food, mute his mic to kiss the succubus, and bitch about RNG.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Coke Gaming ad script

twitchquotes: Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
December 2019

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant.

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant. 1) push her (duh) 2) smoke her lineup position so she cant setup the lineup 3) molly her lineup position, as above 4) bodyblock the Snakebite (this one is hilarious) 5) Sage wall to bounce, as above
June 2021

Valorant

BUT AT LEAST WE GOT FREEDOM

twitchquotes: CAN'T HANDLE A PANDEMIC 4Head CAN'T HANDLE PROTESTS 4Head CAN'T HANDLE OTHER REGIONS 4Head BUT AT LEAST WE GOT FREEDOM Pepega
twitch chat
July 2020

EU vs NA

Please don't copy paste or I might get fired

twitchquotes: Hey guys, Im a blizzard employee and I wanted to give all you fellow kripparians a sneak peak at one of our new GvG cards. It's called the coin- 0 mana and if you play it turn 1 as the first player, it randomly selects a player and they automatically win. Hope you are all excited for the new expansion, please don't copy paste or I might get fired.
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime
Text-to-Speech Playing