[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

You’ve 📡👨 seen 👀👤🎅🏻 Miku on 🔛 stage, 4️⃣💖 but 😠 what 👏🏼 about 🥴 your 👉 wrist? ⌚💯 Wrist ⌚💯 World 🌍 is an AR game 🎯 using 😏 wristbands, now 🫂 featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even ✋ save 🦎 the world! 🌍 Do 👀 You 👀👦 Wrist ⌚💯 World? 🌎 wrist ⌚💯 world 🌍🌎🌏
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

The One Who Brings Salt

twitchquotes: Tells the legend that a long time ago all sea's water was fresh. But one tragic day a baby came out of the sea and was found by a group of african sea men. One week later, after the little baby saw the sea men play Hearth of Stone all the water turned salty. So they named him Kripp, which in Afrikaans means The One Who Brings Salt
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Rainbow 6 copypastas have to be among the worst I've seen in any esport

twitchquotes: Also, Rainbow 6 copypastas have to be among the worst I've seen in any esport. People spam garbage over and over until eventually the mods get fed up and clamp down on spam. I don't blame them for it. Get creative and stop ruining twitch chat for everyone
twitch chat
August 2020

A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing