[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Rob ford messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪᴛs ʀᴏʙ ғᴏʀᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏʀᴏɴᴛᴏ. ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜʀ ɢᴅᴘ ɪs ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀɪᴏᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴇᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀxᴘᴀʏᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴜᴘ ғᴏʀ ʀᴇ-ᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Macaiyla left long ago...

twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. T1 has finally reached Masters, "Macaiyla I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty trailer. Macaiyla left long ago...
twitch chat
April 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

I dropped my notes

twitchquotes: ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ OOOPS I dropped my notes ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Being a hentai actress must be so weird

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000¥ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
February 2021

Weebs

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