[Copypasta] Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Kripp, Blizzard here again

twitchquotes: Kripp, Blizzard here again. We've noticed that you've been away from Hearthstone for at least 2 hours. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still mages? We're serious about nerfing them if it's a problem to you. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Hearthstone

Oi

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠙⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣠⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠂⠂⠂⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⣀⣤⣤⣀⡀⠂⠂⠂⠂⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⣿⠃⠂⠂⠂⠂⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠂⠂⠂⠂⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⡏⠂⠂⠂⠂⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⣿⡀⠂⠂⠂⠂⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠂⠂⠂⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠂⠂⠂⠂⠙⠻⠿⠿⠟⠋⠂⠂⠂⠂⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠂⠂⠂⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣾⣿
June 2019

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ░▄███████▀▀▀▀▀▀███████▄ ░▐████▀▒DIDDLY▒▒▒▒▀██████▄ ░███▀▒▒▒▒SPAMLY▒▒▒▒▒▀█████ ░▐██▒▒▒▒▒▒DOODLY▒▒▒▒▒▒████▌ ░▐█▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒████▌ ░░█▒▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▒▒▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▒▐███▌ ░░░▐░░░▄▄░░▌▐░░░▄▄░░▌▐███▌ ░▄▀▌░░░▀▀░░▌▐░░░▀▀░░▌▒▀▒█▌ ░▌▒▀▄░░░░▄▀▒▒▀▄░░░▄▀▒▒▄▀▒▌ ░▀▄▐▒▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ░░░▀▌▒▄██▄▄▄▄████▄▒▒▒▒█▀ ░░░░▄██████████████▒▒▐▌ ░░░▀███▀▀████▀█████▀▒▌ ░░░░░▌▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░▌▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐
September 2016

Classic

Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing