Ok so I'm not gay but I'm Swedish and have a fantasy where Germany win world war two and Sweden needs to export aryan twink boipussy slaves to high ranking SS officers for pleasure. I imagine I'm a shy little blonde twink with smooth pale skin and being brought into komedant heinrichs bedroom to give him pleasure. He is a tall broad shoulders kraut with a jawline that could cut a diamond and with massive daddy muscles and I'm a pathetic skinny little boipussy twink. He pulls me into his arms force kissing me and pressing my chest against his. He pins me down on the bed tearing my cute lil virgin panties off, he has waited for this for a long time. He teases my boipussy with his massive thicc German cock and then he goes all in. Fucking me with a force I've never felt before. Every thrust makes him moan with pleasure. I love the fact I give him pleasure. He cums deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole then he cuddles me with his strong masculine German arms until I fall asleep on his chest.
Any other straight guys have similar fantasies?
I used to be a real ad
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Infinite poop
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Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Classic
Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
I donโt know if youโre new here, so Iโll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you donโt want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, Iโll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I donโt think I have to explain why you donโt want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and youโll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
You do not deserve to have Raymond
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Hello! I have been following your tweets for the past two days, and have come to the conclusion you do not deserve to have Raymond on your island. He is my comfort character and seeing him in an environment not meant for him brings me anxiety, so I will be expecting a reply to this DM when you have him in boxes and ready to relinquish him to someone who will treasure him like he deserves.
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To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesusโs nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Godโs existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. ๐ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite
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๐๐๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท ๐พ๐น ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ, ๐ฒ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฒ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป 90 ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ'๐ป๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท ๐ถ๐ฎ? ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ, ๐ฒ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ท 69 ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฝ. ๐'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ท ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐พ๐ท๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐น๐ธ๐ท๐ผ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐๐ช๐ฝ, ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ.
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