[Copypasta] Kermit the frog caused 9/11

Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
February 2021
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You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โˆšฯ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019

TSM and TL waiting for Fly at the airport

twitchquotes: HELLO FLY? ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head TSM HERE ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head WE FOUND TL AT THE AIRPORT MC DONALDS ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head WIFI PASSWORD 0-6
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone

twitchquotes: ๏ผฉ ๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ผง๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ผฒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ผŽ ๏ผก๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ†๏ฝ… ๏ผฉ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ… ๏ฝ„๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ“๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‹๏ฝ… ๏ผค๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ผฃ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ผญ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ‰๏ฝ’๏ฝŒ๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ผก๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ˜๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝš๏ฝ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผŽ ๏ผท๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ•๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ผค๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹๏ผ
twitch chat
April 2014
PGL

LilZ

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–Œโ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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