twitchquotes:
๐ โ๏ธ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐พ๐๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐ ๐๐๐ป๐.
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What happened to this ad? :(
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Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
โYouโre awake!โ She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
โWhere am I?โ You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
โYou are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to itโs extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.โ
โHow?โ You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
โYou have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.โ
โWill I not die?โ
โYou canโt die. You are immortal. You donโt even have a body and yet you continue to existโ
โฆ
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You donโt even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Infinite Cum
Great Thermo-War
twitchquotes:
It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
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Kripp
Die spider!
twitchquotes:
เผผ เฒ ูอเฒ เผฝ๏ธปใ=ไธ DIE SPIDER /เธเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนโฒ/\โญ(โฬฟฤนฬฏโฬฟ ฬฟ)โฎ/\โฑเธเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเนเน\
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Forsen
If Biden wins, I'm moving to Alaska
twitchquotes:
I simply will not stand to live in a country ruled by Biden. So if he wins the election, I am packing my bags and moving far away, where Joseph "Malarkey" Biden cannot reach me. I will be starting a new life in Alaska.
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2020 US Election
Xi Jinping isn't so great?
twitchquotes:
Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
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