twitchquotes:
π βοΈ πΌ ππππππ ππ πΎππ»πππ πππ, ππ½πππ πΎπ ππ πΈππΈπ πππ»π.
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with βyes daddy, spank me harder!β (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with βwhatβs wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?β
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donβt think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wifeβs ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donβt know if I can ever have sex again
The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus
Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
Among Us / Amogus
Coronavirus
COVID
Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, βMorbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, βItβs morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
Morbius
Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother
twitchquotes:
Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother, I am here to politely ask you all to stop making fun of my son. He has always had social problems and it really hurts his feelings when you guys make fun of him. I'm sure you will all be reasonable about this.
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Kripp
Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society (Reddit moderator goes off)
I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society.
Behave. Or get banned.