[Copypasta] I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: 📜 ✍️ 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓃𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝒸𝓀 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉.
twitch chat
February 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Thinking of the greatest Hearthstone player

twitchquotes: Sometimes, late at night when I am under my covers, I touch my stealth donger and think of the greatest hearthstone player, the very best there ever was, then in a desperate attempt to not fap i think of Kripp, and that's it, donger is gone, i whisper "casual" and go back to sleep.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

agontfConcern

⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⠕⠕⢕⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠁⣁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⡄⢑ ⢕⢕⢕⠅⢁⣴⣤⠀⣀⠁⠑⠑⠁⢁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⢔ ⢕⢕⠕⠀⣿⡁⠄⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⠤⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡟⠀⢔⢕ ⢕⠕⠁⣴⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣇⠐⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠐⢕⢕ ⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠐⢕ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠐ ⢄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢕⢔⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢄⠈⠳⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⡍⢭⡍⢨⣯⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⠀⠈⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⠁⢠⣾⣶⣾⣭⣖⣛⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢕⢕⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇ ⢕⠕⠀⠼⠟⢉⣉⡙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣛⣭⡴⠶⠶⠂⠀⠿⠿⠇
May 2022
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

Emote

President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018

I found one doc that values a ring

twitchquotes: Hey Bryon, I went to the doctors today for a checkup and we ended up talking about Shadow of War. Turns out he played it before and hes a big fan of the lord of the ring serious in general. I guess the point is I found one doc that values a ring.
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful
Text-to-Speech Playing