[Copypasta] Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbetsOGs/comments/lp6i1r/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_february_22_2021/gob8p5c/
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. Itā€™s not a story any bull would tell you. Itā€™s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsā€¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishā€¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

I'm buysexual

Iā€™m buysexual, sometimes Iā€™m a top (when I buy) and sometimes a bottom (when I sell)
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itā€™s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itā€™s a šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆšŸ» legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationā€¦ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beā€¦ transitory. He became so powerfulā€¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

Robinhood halts trading on President's Day

This is bullshit. Iā€™m disgusted and Iā€™m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itā€™s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenā€™t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadā€™s wifeā€™s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iā€™m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iā€™m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheā€™s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itā€™s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itā€™s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all. Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itā€™s 2021 you bigots.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Solar energy stocks at night time

Itā€™s nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them
January 2021

WallStreetBets

More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing