[Copypasta] I hate Among Us

I can't fucking take it. I see an image of a random object posted and then I see it, I fucking see it. "Oh that looks kinda like the among us guy" it started as. That's funny, that's a cool reference. But I kept going, I'd see a fridge that looked like among us, I'd see an animated bag of chips that looked like among us, I'd see a hat that looked like among us. And every time I'd burst into an insane, breath deprived laugh staring at the image as the words AMOGUS ran through my head. It's torment, psychological torture, I am being conditioned to laugh maniacly any time I see an oval on a red object. I can't fucking live like this... I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't! And don't get me fucking started on the words! I'll never hear the word suspicious again without thinking of among us. Someone does something bad and I can't say anything other than "sus." I could watch a man murder everyone I love and all I would be able to say is "red sus" and laugh like a fucking insane person. And the word "among" is ruined. The phrase "among us" is ruined. I can't live anymore. Among us has destroyed my fucking life. I want to eject myself from this plane of existence. MAKE IT STOP!
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

What happened to this ad? :(
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Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game ā€œAmong Usā€ after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ā€˜kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll ā€œejectā€ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a ā€œcrewmateā€. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use ā€œventā€ to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell ā€œamogusā€ 69 times

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell ā€œamogusā€ 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Ben Shapiro plays Among Us

Now let's say hypothetically I was the impostor. How would I get from reactor to medbay in that timespan, from which we saw each other, till you found yellow dead. Also if I were the impostor hypothetically speaking, how would I have finished all my tasks.
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Ben Shapiro

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 7)

After we threw Liam out the window, I decided to call another emergency meeting. ā€œChad sus!1!1!!1 He’s the SUSSY VERY IMPOSTER!ā€ I said. They all asked why Chad was sus. I said it was because his name is Chad. They all agreed so we ejected him. I was naruto running around the office when Adam stopped me and said ā€œWhy are you running?ā€ OH MY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY THE FUNNY UGANDAN MEME? SPIT ON HIM BROTHERS. I spit on Adam and I pulled down my pants and pissed on him. He ran away screaming and everybody looked at me. I pulled my pants up.ā€œ Adam sus. He’s screaming.ā€ Everyone nodded and we ejected Adam. My son came out of the elevator even though it was take your kid to work day and he was supposed to be on the bottom floor, not up here on the 3rd floor! So I said ā€œSon, what the fuck nugget wholesome keanu reeves are you doing here?ā€ He closed the elevator door and I think he went to the first floor. I tried pissing on the elevator door in hopes that it would malfunction it but I don’t think it worked. That stupid little bastard. So I got in the elevator when it came back up and went to the first floor. I looked around but couldn’t find him. I pulled one of the kids up by her shirt and said ā€œWHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?ā€ She was screaming and I threw her away. I stomped down the hallways trying to look for him but I couldn’t find him. ā€œThis is not a fortnite minecraft roblox 100 wholesome keanu reeves chungus Amogus moment. That’s pretty sus.ā€ All the coworkers were looking at me in terror. I went out back and searched in the dumpster to see if I could yet again try to find a weapon to kill all the people there. I already got rid of Chad, Adam and Liam so everyone else could easily be disposed of.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

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