[Copypasta] Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.

January 2021

WallStreetBets

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!

June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

Stock space rocket

.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　　　　 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　,　　　 .　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　,　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ☀️ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　,　　　　　　　　　　[stock ticker]🚀 　　　　　　,　　　 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　˚　　　　　　　　,　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　* 　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　.　　　　 🌑 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 . 　　　 🌎 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　* .　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

ascii art

January 2021

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good ‘ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies 🚀 Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out 🚀🚀🚀 For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.

May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave “smile more” on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.

December 2020

[Copypasta] Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

WallStreetBets

WallStreetBets

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

WallStreetBets

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

Stock space rocket

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀

WallStreetBets

Classic

Mitch is the type of dude who...

WallStreetBets

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