[Copypasta] Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
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I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

GME to the moon

.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ✦        γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€*γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆ β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ✦ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€,       .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜€οΈif we holdγ€€γ€€. ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆ ✦        ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ€Šβ€Šβ€ŠπŸš€ gme γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€γ€€ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€Λšγ€€       ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€ β€ˆγ€€γ€€β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€* γ€€γ€€         ✦ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.           . γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ πŸŒ‘ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€ Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€ 🌎 ‍ ‍ if we sell ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€* .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ✦ Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€*γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆ β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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My wife told me to talk dirty to her

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April 2021

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I'm buysexual

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A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

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January 2022

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