[Copypasta] you can't spell "advertisements"

you can't spell "advertisements" without semen between tits
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Please tell chat that you Love them

twitchquotes: Hello, Mr Morosan. We want to inform you that your channel has now been striked twice. This is due to the lack of love you give your chat. Please start telling the chat that you "Love them" or else your channel will be terminated. Thank you, Love Department at Twitch.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Top Lel

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–€β– β–β–€β–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ– β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β– β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–€ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ▐▄▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014

I will now transform this human into a cat

twitchquotes: I WILL NOW TRANSFORM THIS HUMAN INTO A CATβ•°( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° )γ€β”€β”€β˜† -> -> -> Kappa Keepo CoolCat
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

6.84 dota patch was found dead at his hotel room

twitchquotes: Breaking News : Much expected 6.84 dota patch was found dead at his hotel room. Police suspects gunshot wounds found at victims body might be caused from a long range rifle. Witnesses reported "Hoho" "Haha" sounds was heared right before shooting.
twitch chat
April 2015
Dendi

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing