[Copypasta] Tomato Town Police Report

The residents of Tomato Town need your help identifying two suspects who were about to get down while involved in an event on Monday evening. Ten people were eliminated, and the two suspects, one injured, left the scene headed Southbound and were later spotted at a local park. The two suspects were armed with golden scar ARs and were “hitting that chug jug” as several witnesses stated. Please alert local Tomato Town authorities with any information regarding the duo.
March 2021

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(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

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I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: 𝓛𝓘𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 90 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓶𝓮? 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 69 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽. 𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓝𝓲𝓽𝓮, 𝓘 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓾𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼. 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝔀𝓪𝓽, 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱.
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September 2018

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November 2018

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠶⠀⠀⣀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣶⣤⣤⠿⠶⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿ ⠿⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣤⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⠤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿
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November 2018

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MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers you’d find on Xbox lobby’s. I’ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. I’ve tried to tell him that’s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesn’t listen to me and insists he isn’t racist and that he’s just saying it because he’s angry. I’ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldn’t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
September 2021

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