[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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May 2021

Duck with cap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⡥⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⡞⠁⠀⠀⠤⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠀⢻⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡁⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣁⣐⡒⠢⢤⡈⠛⢿⡄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠐⠄⡈⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢈⣿⡄⠀⢀⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣶⣶⣬⣭⣥⣴⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣧⠀⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⢻ ⡏⠰⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢂⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠘⠛⠛⢉⣉⣠⣴⣾ ⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣛⣛⣉⠉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2021

Yamas! This is Mr OpieOP's Greek Restaurant

twitchquotes: Yᴀᴍᴀs! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴍʀ. OpieOP 's ɢʀᴇᴇᴋ ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ. Fᴏʀ ᴀ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟy, yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ ᴛᴢᴀᴛᴢɪᴋɪ ᴩɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴜᴍ sᴇʀᴠɪɴɢ ᴏF ᴏᴜᴢᴏ Fᴏʀ ᴏɴʟy 4.20 $! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴏFFᴇʀ, ᴛyᴩᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ "Opie OP" (ɴᴏ sᴩᴀᴄᴇ) ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ. sᴇᴇ yᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Stay negative

twitchquotes: (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Stay negative _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kripp is a sellout (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Chat is retarded _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kitty is dead (︶︹︺ ✿ ) _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Life sucks (︶︹︺ ✿ )
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing