Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
You leave me little choice, evil mods!
twitchquotes:
<::::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ You leave me little choice, evil mods! Face me!
twitch chat
Forsen
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
“You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
“Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
“You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”
“How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
“You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.”
“Will I not die?”
“You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist”
…
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Infinite Cum
I play Mister Yie in League of Heroes
twitchquotes:
That's it noobs, come play me in a game of League of Heroes. I main with the hardest warrior - Mister Yie. I will build full wiji first so you know I'll be able to tank no problem. After that, I will build a Infinite Ledge and score so hardcore attack speed. That's right - I will be victorious
twitch chat
imaqtpie
VoHiYo
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠀⠀⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠿⠿⠿⠣⣶⣿⡏⣶⣿⣿⠷⠶⠆⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⡅⠀⠀⠠⢶⣿⣿⣷⡄⣀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣰⡶⣦⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠸⠟⢸⣿⣿⣷⡆⠢⣉⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢹⣧⣿⣇⠀⠀⡇⠀⢠⣷⣲⣺⣿⣿⣇⠤⣤⣿⣿⠀⢸⠀⣤⣶⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⢇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⡜⣾⣿⡃⠇⢀⣤⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣮⡆⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⡿⠋⢀⠞⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⠇⣶⣤⣄⢀⣰⣷⣶⣿⠁⡰⢃⣴⣿⡿⢋⠏⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣿⣿⣿⣞⠿⣿⣿⢿⢸⣷⣌⠛⠋⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⢿⣿⣿⠟⡁⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⢩⣥⣾⣷⠐⡌⠙⠃⠀
Weebs
Wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito
twitchquotes:
Hello my name is Redito I am wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito. I come to watch the tipp stream becaus i want 2ba master. I must ba master of all pokemonarino or my boss "giovanito" will fired me from my businessman job and the helixito will be sad. plz no caparino fettuccine alfredini jigglypuforoni
twitch chat
TwitchPlaysPokemon