[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Learning how to throw like a pro

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! Thanks for the quality stream. I'm watching with my son and you have become his mentor. He is going into baseball so he's learning how to throw like a pro from you! Thanks again!
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imaqtpie

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Shotgun Pepe

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January 2019

Pepe

Artosis the Great

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian! This is your lord and saviour, Artosis the Great! I have boarded my private jet to Greecerino to meet you and your lovely wiferino Rania. See you soon! Much loverino, please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Domino's Pizza and Hatsune Miku

Hello everyone. I'm Scott, President of Domino's Pizza. Have you heard of Hatsune Miku? Today I'd like to announce a new collaborative project featuring Hatsune Miku: Domino's App, featuring Hatsune Miku. Hatsune Miku exists in a software called Vocaloid. Vocaloid enables you to produce songs. A character called Hatsune Miku sings the songs you create. A great feature is you can create songs as you like. I knew our talented Domino's Pizza crew could work together and create great Vocaloid songs. Bokuro P, Eshi, Chiyo Kiyoshi, Furitsu Keshi, everyone! Amazing Vocaloid songs have been created with the fantastic imagination of the crews all over Japan. The challenge was successfully carried out and this new collaborative app was produced. D O M I N O S P I Z Z A Based on Miku's image, the Domino's App changes its appearance. A lot of music and illustrations produced by Domino's crew are here. From the menu to the order, it looks very cute, just like Miku. Once your pizza's delivered, have some fun with Miku! It comes with a social camera function and you can take various poses, pictures of Miku, very cool. And last, but not least, the live performance! Start the pizza stage live and point the camera towards the pizza box, and the pizza box will turn into a live dancing venue. A live performance of Luv4Night produced by Domino's crew! Here we go! D O M I N O S P I Z Z A Let's enjoy the rest of the performance with the app!
January 2022

Weebs

You better wear the TSM T-Shirt

twitchquotes: Hello TSM_Kripp, TSM manager here. We can see that you aren't wearing our TSM T-shirt. Remember that it is a vital part of our contract. If you want the fuckmaster-vol7ron you better wear the damn shirt.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing