Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK
twitchquotes:
PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK 3 can: I can easily stack 3 of these stupid cans, even 4 And that is absolutely none of your business.I can stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. 4 ME DrinkPurple.
PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK 3 can: I can easily stack 3 of these stupid cans, even 4 And that is absolutely none of your business.I can stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. 4 ME DrinkPurple.
twitch chat
The current meta is so good STUNNED
twitchquotes:
hey chat *STUNNED* the current *STUNNED* meta is so *STUNNED* good, as a *STUNNED* tank main i *STUNNED* find myself *STUNNED* getting more *STUNNED* compliments for *STUNNED* shatters
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
ＷＥＡＳＥＬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ＷＥＡＳＥＬ into twitch chat.
ＷＥＡＳＥＬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ＷＥＡＳＥＬ into twitch chat.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Biden's America
The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it.
“It’s for hunting,” you say.
They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief.
“One more thing.”
You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes.
“I need to see your vaccination card”
It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes.
“Don't worry, it will all be over soon”
He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm.
“Nighty night”
Your world fades to black once more.
Joe Biden
Politics
This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder
twitchquotes:
╠═ 
═╣ This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder. To make him feel better, enslave his frog brothers too by spamming this.
═╣ This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder. To make him feel better, enslave his frog brothers too by spamming this.
twitch chat