[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull TBTacoRight only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco ⎝ OpieOP
twitch chat
May 2016

EU vs NA

Dunning-Kruger effect

twitchquotes: The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias wherein unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their ability to be much higher than is accurate. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their ineptitude.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

PepegaPhone

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⡀⢠⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣟⣉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣉⡻⢿⣇⣠⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣁⣄⡈⠻⣿⢃⣴⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣭⣭⣄⡀⠛⢡⣾⡏⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡏⠄⠄⠢⠘⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⡿⠁⠙⣿⡄⢸⣿⡇⢰⡷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠋⣷⢸⣿⠇⢰⠆⣿⡇⠈⢿⡿⠆⠄⣠⡄ ⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣇⢿⡌⠻⣤⣤⠶⠟⣁⠐⡖⠒⠂⢉⣩⣀ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⣥⣤⣤⡄⠄⠘⠋⠛⠿⡌⠛⠳⠶⠆⣠⣴⣿⣷⡘⢋⣽⣿⡿⠟ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣇⡈⠟⢠⣄⣰⢏⡠⠄⠰⢶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣟⣡⠴⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣯⣠⠞⣠⣈⠻⠿⠿⢿⣛⣉⠤⠶⠛⣫⡀⠄⠄ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⢿⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣻⡄⣀⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡖⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣾⡿⠇⣀⡀⠄⠄⠁⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣤⣤⣴⠶⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

Hey subs, it's me walking with my $5, don't mind me

twitchquotes: Hey subs! [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5)̲̅$̲̅]ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง It's me walking with my $5, don't mind me.
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing