[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Learn the ways of the Russians

twitchquotes: Learn the ways of the Russians, speak their language for a while, they might think you are one of them. Then maybe join their team, success might come and fighting for last drink of vodka will be your next objective. Do not give up, you have Dota tournament ahead of you. Then win TI1, but don't stop now, you have to go deeper. Spend 3 more years trying to solve the puzzle of russki power of motherland and then leave the team with full knowledge of understanding of strenght of ROSSIA and PROMISE URSELF THET YU WILL NEVER LOS TO RUS AND KNOW OF COLLAPSING STRONG EMPIRE OF RUSKILAND.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didnโ€™t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
July 2021

Troll face kid

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
March 2021

Monster Amogus Crewmate With Tongue

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โกถโ ›โ ›โ ถโฃฆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโ žโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โกถโขฟโกฟโ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฝโก—โ ฒโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ดโ ฏโ ญโฃ‰โ ™โฃฆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃดโ Ÿโ ‰โ €โกผโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โกโก‡โก˜โ “โฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฏโฃ€โ €โ €โฃˆโ †โขนโฃฆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โข โกพโ ‹โ €โ €โฃธโ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃพโกžโข โฃฟโฃขโฃŒโฃณโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โก€โ โ ‰โก‰โ โ €โฃธโขนโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โข โกฟโ โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โกพโขโก‡โขธโข‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃงโ คโ ’โกŽโข€โฃ โ ดโ ฏโฃžโก€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โกพโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฟโฃฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โ žโ โกŽโฃฐโฃ‡โ €โ ™โฃถโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃพโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ ›โ ›โ “โ ’โ ฆโฃ„โ ™โ ณโฃ„โ €โ € โขฐโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โ ฟโฃถโฃถโฃถโ ฟโ ‹โ €โข โ €โกฟโ ›โฃ›โฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโก–โ ’โ ’โ ฒโ ฆโ คโฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ ™โขทโฃคโฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃ€โ ‘โ €โ ˜โขฆโ € โขธโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฐโขƒโกœโ ™โ พโก‹โ €โ €โ ˜โฃฟโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ’โ ถโฃฆโฃฟโฃฟโฃพโ ›โ €โ €โ €โ €โ นโฃŸโก†โ €โ ˜โฃง โ €โขงโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก‡โขธโกถโขฆโฃดโ ฟโ †โ ถโฃฟโก›โขฟโก–โ ฆโฃคโฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ›โ งโ „โฃ€โฃ€โ €โฃ€โฃผโกŸโ โ €โ €โฃฟ โ €โ ˆโขทโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกžโข โ Ÿโ ฆโก€โ ™โ ณโ คโฃ€โ ˆโ ›โ พโฃทโก€โขงโกœโ ›โขทโขฆโฃ„โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃฟ โ €โ €โ €โขนโฃทโฃฆโฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โ ƒโฃผโฃทโฃถโกฟโฃถโ €โ €โข€โฃทโก€โ €โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ €โ ˆโ พโฃโ ›โ ปโฃถโฃคโฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โฃพโกฟ โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโ €โ ‰โ ›โ ถโขคโฃ„โฃ€โข€โก‡โฃผโฃ‹โ ญโฃฟโขƒโ ™โกŸโข‰โฃฟโ €โขณโก€โขฐโฃฟโ ‰โขฟโ ‡โ €โฃฐโ ™โฃ†โ €โ ˜โฃฎโ ‰โ ›โ ปโ ถโขถโฃถโฃถโฃพโ ฟโ Ÿโ ‹โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ปโฃฆโฃ„โ €โ €โฃ€โข€โ โข™โฃงโฃŒโก‰โ ›โ ›โ ฟโ ดโ ฟโ ฟโ ทโ †โฃ€โฃทโฃผโฃ‡โฃ†โกˆโฃงโฃดโฃฟโฃƒโฃ˜โฃ†โ €โขธโ €โฃ โ –โ Šโ ‰โขฑโขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ™โขฟโฃฟโ ทโ ‹โข โ žโฃฟโ โ ™โขฆโกผโ ›โ ‰โ ‘โ ’โฃถโขฐโก–โ ฒโ ดโ  โ ”โ ซโขญโก„โ €โฃ โฃ โกŒโฃทโขธโก€โกโ €โ €โ €โ ปโ ผโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โขฟโฃถโฃฎโกฅโ ”โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขปโฃผโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขณโข€โก‡โ €โ ปโฃฟโขธโ €โฃงโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โฃงโ €โ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ›โ โ €โ €โขปโขธโ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขปโฃฆโฃ€โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃธโ ˜โ ฆโ Ÿโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ›โฃฟโก†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ โกคโ „โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขนโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โกŸโ ‰โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃธโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ นโฃทโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃผโ ‡โ €โ ˜โฃงโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃคโฃพโกŸโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Joker fursona bodyguard

twitchquotes: Okay CLEARLY sakurai is playing favorites already wtf. Joker is literally bayo, cloud, olimar put together. He gave him a GUN for gods sake and you LMFAO you canโ€™t even hurt his fursona bodyguard ohmygod
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April 2019

Super Smash Bros

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