[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚OMG πŸ˜‚ you’re so FUNNY 🀣 🀣 so quirky πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ πŸ€ͺ so different 🀩absolute crackhead energy πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ comedic genius🧠 πŸ˜‚ I literally can’t ❌ breathe 😭 i’m crying dude 😭😭 that was so hilarious πŸ˜† u really got the whole squad laughing πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦ high IQ comedy 🧠🧠 how’d you come up with that πŸ§πŸ˜‚ really original work πŸ˜‚ never seen πŸ™ˆ or heard πŸ™‰ anything like that before πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ great πŸ‘ job πŸ‘πŸ‘ keep up the funnies πŸ‘‘πŸ€£πŸ‘‘ i love you πŸ’• 😘 you’re my inspiration 🀩🀩🀩 if only i were as funny πŸ˜„ or smart πŸ€“ or cool 😎 as you πŸ˜” but its whatever I’ll continue to watch πŸ‘πŸ‘„πŸ‘ your content πŸŽ₯🀳 because it ❌NEVER EVER❌ fails to make me laugh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thank you πŸ™ for existing πŸ˜‡ and doing what you do ❀️❀️
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

To protect the chat from moderation

twitchquotes: To protect the chat from moderation. To unite all spammers within our nation. To denounce the evil of bans and mods. To extend our spam to the lines above. Copy! Paste! Twitch Chat scroll at the speed of light! Surrender mods or prepare to fight! That's right!!!
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May 2019

Pokemon Marathon 2018

I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote β€œyou’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020

69 nice

twitchquotes: Oh you think you’re funny eh? Yeah you’re so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
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October 2020

ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS

twitchquotes: ALO ALO πŸ“ž ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS πŸ“ž ZULUL NEED BACKUP πŸ“ž ZULUL VI VON πŸ“ž ZULUL
twitch chat
July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing