Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
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Investing in gourd futures
Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
WallStreetBets
Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ into twitch chat.
οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ into twitch chat.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Big Chungus v2
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Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
βYouβre awake!β She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
βWhere am I?β You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
βYou are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to itβs extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.β
βHow?β You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
βYou have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.β
βWill I not die?β
βYou canβt die. You are immortal. You donβt even have a body and yet you continue to existβ
β¦
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You donβt even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Infinite Cum
Hello! My name is Reynad!
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Reynad