Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Type :) if you have crippling depression
twitchquotes:
type 
if you have Crippling Depression
if you have Crippling Depression
twitch chat
Finally beat the first boss Honker
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripparrian. For 2 weeks I was stuck in Hearthstone. I nearly gave up on it, however, after watching your stream and learning so much, I decided to buy 40 packs and make a new deck. Lo and behold after my 7th game I finally defeated the first boss Honker. Thank you Kripparrian.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Flex your Dongers for Harambe
twitchquotes:
ᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗ Flex your Dongers for Harambe! ᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗ Flex your Dongers for Harambe! ᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
Harambe
Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)
Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
Not enough brofisting
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Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
Kripp