[Copypasta] Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.
March 2021
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Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: Iโ€™ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious itโ€™s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what heโ€™s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao Iโ€™m outta here
twitch chat
November 2020
Aurateur

Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries

twitchquotes: Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries. Before Energizer I would be listening to my walkman and the battery would die and then I could hear my wife in the other room having sex with you. That would lead me to tears. Now using Energizer the battery doesn't die as quickly and I can listen to your VODs that I ripped without your permission on repeat and not notice her taking it hard. I don't need to rehydrate as often since I won't be crying. Thank you
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

I sold my sandwich to learn about the Lucian level 2 power spike

twitchquotes: I sแดสŸแด… แดส sแด€ษดแด…แดกษชแด„สœ แด›แด สŸแด‡แด€ส€ษด แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แด›สœแด‡ Lแดœแด„ษชแด€ษด สŸแด‡แด แด‡สŸ 2 แด˜แดแดกแด‡ส€ sแด˜ษชแด‹แด‡. Jแดœsแด› แด€s ษช แดกแด€s แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แด›แด ษขแด‡แด› แดแดœแด› แดา“ แดแด€sแด›แด‡ส€ แด›ษชแด‡ส€ แด‡สŸแด สœแด‡สŸสŸ, I แด…ษชแด‡แด… แดา“ sแด›แด€ส€แด แด€แด›ษชแดษด. Iา“ แดษดสŸส I สœแด€แด… แด‡แด€แด›แด‡ษด แด›สœแด€แด› แด›แดแด€sแด›แด‡แด… แด›แดœษดแด€ sแด€สŸแด€แด… สœแดแด€ษขษชแด‡, I แดกแดแดœสŸแด… ส™แด‡ แด€สŸษชแด แด‡ แด›แดแด…แด€ส แด›แด แด›สแด˜แด‡ แด›สœษชs
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

Bear

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&Mโ€™s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Itโ€™s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, canโ€™t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
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