[Copypasta] Logan Paul apology script

Dear Internet, Where do I begin... Let's start with this -I'm sorry. This is a first for me. I've never faced criticism like this before, because I've never made a mistake like this before. I'm surrounded by good people and believe I make good decisions, but I'm still a human being. I can be wrong. I didn't do it for views. I get views. I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity. That's never the intention. I intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention and while I thought "if this video saves just ONE life, it'll be worth it," I was misguided by shock and awe, as portrayed in the video. I still am. I do this sh*t every day. I've made a 15 minute TV show EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 460+ days. One may understand that it's easy to get caught up in the moment without fully weighing the possible ramifications. I'm often reminded of how big of a reach I truly have & with great power comes great responsibility... for the first time in my life I'm regretful to say I handled that power incorrectly. It won't happen again. I love everyone. I believe in people. I'm out here. Peace #Logang4Life
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Listen up chat. I'm done with your shenanigans

twitchquotes: Okay, listen up chat. I'm done with your shenanigans. I try day in and day out to spam dank ass memes, and what do I get in return? Just the same old, unoriginal spam from you parrots. Chat is filled with just lul xD and 12 year olds cringing. I'm done. I'm out. And I swear to god, don't even think about copying this message
twitch chat
January 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Stop the Rick and Morty copypastas

twitchquotes: Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns" .
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Hearthstone cardback

โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
July 2015

Hearthstone

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing