[Copypasta] Based

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
March 2021
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A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?

‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆRπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆAπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆIπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆNπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆBπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆOπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆWπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🀯🀯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆLGBT πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈTRANS πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈRIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ UR SO PROGRESSIVE πŸ’πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸ½β€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΏβ€β™‚οΈ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍πŸ₯°πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Pick up the sock

twitchquotes: PICK UP THE SOCK OR THE DOG GETS IT (βŒβ– _β– )=/Μ΅Ν‡ΜΏΜΏ/'ΜΏ'ΜΏΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ FrankerZ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing

That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
May 2021
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