[Copypasta] Based

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Ultra Variety Pack bag of Dongers

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Ultra Variety Pack™ bag of Dongers. ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed

twitchquotes: Kripparian's true name is Octavian. Octavian is derived from the Latin word for 8. Latin was the language of Rome. Rome fell to Barbarians. Kripp played a Barbarian. Barbarian is 9 letters. Kripparrian is 11 letters. 9/11. Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

forsenFeels

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡼⣱⢯⢾⡭⣒⣩⠖⢊⣁⡯⠭⠥⠬⠽⢈⠳⣳⡰⡝⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣉⣄⠿⣻⣽⣷⣚⠭⠄⡿⠺⠭⠭⣭⡷⠙⢆⠹⢸⠈⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡟⠉⠄⣴⡏⡉⡯⠃⢀⣿⠧⠶⣯⡱⡝⠝⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠘⠈⣆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠧⢤⡀⠿⢿⠁⠄⣠⠄⡐⣠⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⡴⠋ ⠄⠄⠄⡠⢼⡓⣄⠢⡑⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡸⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡜⠷⠆⢰⠘⡆⠑⠃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠰⡁⠄⢀⢸⠄⠇⠄⣺⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠠⠬⠭⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠴⠊⠱⣀⣀⡉⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣦⣌⠳⣋⡄⠄⣾⢋⡀⠤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠂⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣆⣙⣠⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⢶⣶⣇⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⣋⡁⠚⠄⠨⢥⣿⠋⢲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠸⠿⡋⢠⣶⡦⣨⣙⣛⢋⠜⣁⣀⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠊⢸⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⣐⢤⢻⣧⣀⣬⡾⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⠥⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠐⣸⡷⠿⠃⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠋⠄⡘⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⠟⠄⡆⠰⠄⢇⠄⡼⠄⢠⢂⡎⢠⠃⣀⠱⡀⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

SHOVE A HAMSTER

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ SHOVE A HAMSTER IN MY ASS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing