Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I sexually Identify as going second
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I sexually Identify as
You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you
You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
Marketing Director for Doritos messages Kripp
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏs, ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋ ᴏʀᴡᴇʟʟ ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀᴋᴀ ᴄ.ᴏ. ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ. sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ sᴇʟʟᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ! ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇʀᴄɪᴀʟ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴛᴏsɪs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғʀɪᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ғʀɪᴛᴏʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏ.
twitch chat
Kripp
98% of memes aren't even remotely funny
twitchquotes:
Did 👏 You 👈 Know? 💭 98% of 💦 memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even 🌃 remotely funny, 😄 but 🍑 rather 
an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
twitch chat
forsenDDK
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢿⣿⡿⢿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⢹⣯⣔⢄⠦⠄⡐⠰⠈⡭⠾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡟⢟⣛⠵⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠊⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠸⠇⠄⠘⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡤⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣀⠄⠄⠄⣰⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣾⡟⠿⡿⠟⡌⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⠿⠿⠿⠷⠄⠄⢘⡆⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⠇⠄⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠓⢦⣺⡟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣦⠄⢀⡈⠛⢹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠾⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠂⠄⠈⠂⠄⠁⠄⡀⢂⣶⣾⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Forsen