Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
There was a bug in the toilet
twitchquotes:
WHEN I SAT DOWN β¬οΈ TO PEE π§ββοΈπ¦ THERE WAS A BUG π IN THE TOILET π½ BUT I THOUGHT π IT WAS DROWNED ππ» ββββ N WHEN I GOT UP β¬οΈ βΌοΈIT WASN'T β THERE 
IM SOBBING π IS IT IN MY FUCKING π BUTTHOLE πβ WHERE IS ITβοΈβοΈβοΈ
IM SOBBING π IS IT IN MY FUCKING π BUTTHOLE πβ WHERE IS ITβοΈβοΈβοΈ
twitch chat
Asmongoldβs Defence for Brony Accusation
"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
Asmongold
This message legally certifies that I was here
twitchquotes:
This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
hi im greek
twitchquotes:
hi im greek... as you probably guessed in m name.. plz have respect for this comment and read on.. if ou don't like it plz dont hate. My economy is not going well and effing Germans are trying to take over so I need help. Bjerg promised for every subscriber 0.0000199 % money would go towards me. Thank you for my message and plz subscribe bjerg... he is the best and better ( not german even better!)
twitch chat
Bjergsen
"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders
twitchquotes:
Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
Kripp