[Copypasta] How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021
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I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night. I know I know. Another "I had a dream about Jerma" post. I've been thinking about whether or not to post this for the last 3 days, since everyone and their grandmas are doing these posts. But whatever. Three nights ago I dreamt that I was watching a jerma stream and he did something so utterly hilarious that I bursted out laughing so hard that I actually woke up from it. I looked for my phone to write down what he was doing (because it was 2 am and I needed to go back to sleep) but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Then in the corner of my eye a webcam appeared and it was Jerma laughing his ass off saying "chat he can't find it" and "he doesn't know pepeface". I was still dreaming lmao. I saw chat and it was just a wall of OMEGALULs. The whole situation was hilarious so then I woke up for real this time. Unfortunately because of the nature of the dream I can't remember what he was doing originally that was so funny. I think he was choking on a piece of bread or something.
March 2022
Jerma985

Response to someone correcting spelling

whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
October 2021

FeelsFurryMan

⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⢱⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⠈⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⢀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠴⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⢸⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⣧⠹⢿⣿⡿⢡⣾⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⢸⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣧⡌⠿⢡⣿⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣬⣝⡃⠟⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⡘⢿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⡟⢫⣭⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⢻⡟⢫⣶⠒⠒⠒⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣙⣥⣴⣿⣿⡟⠥⠞⣫⣭⠁⠂⠄⢲⣶⣬⡈⢙⣩⠄⠂⠄⢰⣦⣭⣁⠄⠄ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣍⣛⣀⠄⠄⣚⣋⡉⣰⣞⣛⣂⣀⣀⣘⣋⠉⠉⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿⠿⠟⠟⠻⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠏⣁⣀⠆⠿⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠄⠰⢶⣰⠿⠿⢿⣉ ⠿⠟⢛⣩⣭⣥⣶⠶⢚⣩⣄⠄⠺⠿⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠷⠄⠐⣉⡓⠲⠤ ⣶⣿⡿⠟⠛⣉⣴⡾⠄⣉⠤⠤⢭⣍⣛⣛⣓⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢚⣛⡛⠉⠙⢦⣄ ⠋⣥⣶⡾⠿⢋⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡭⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠉ ⡿⠄⠃⢤⣄⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣙⣓⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣰⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

I sexually identify as a centipede

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Nimble Navigator” and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

I sexually Identify as

Shots 1-5 clearly missed

Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control). Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses. Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
March 2021

CSGO

Text-to-Speech Playing