A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?"
The teacher fainted.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Scarra quit dignitas to start a life of crime
twitchquotes:
Hey Michael it's me Scarra. I've made a huge mistake, I quit dignitas to start a life of crime, but I've already been arrested for attacking a rival gang member with a cheeseburger. Please bail me out..
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imaqtpie
NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED
twitchquotes:
ATTENTION: The NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED in order to make room for the Gnomes Vs. Goblins expansion. We apologize for any dongers raised by this message.
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Trump
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. âWhat?â you ask absentmindedly. Youâre looking at Futures, and youâre surprised to see them red.
âI want you to play with me.â She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnât totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, âI want to do that more.â
But youâve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. âUh huh,â you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donât realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donât say a word because you donât notice.
She hasnât left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
Hola! Me Reyinald
twitchquotes:
Hola!! Me reyinald I work as big boss monkey for teem solo midlane. mi amigos es dyros he make big anger of me i call him rude chico beecuz i say u apollogize or u leave team house and work in potato factory mi other amigo es wildgato i make hem feel very sad becuz i tel u stop get catch in teemfiyt or u leave house and work for me as donkey wagon. also me amigo es xpecial i say u win bot or i use u hair for make new eyebrows for mi face. Pls no copy frappucino dis tacorino pastorinoďťż
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imaqtpie
Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is âmental abuse to humansâ? Well, lemme tell you one thing: âMathâ is an abbreviation for âmathematicsâ, so youâre only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for âexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsâ! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youâre not truly intelligent or cool! Youâre dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donât forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
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