[Copypasta] I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021

Tyler1 is a hard stuck attack-damage carry

twitchquotes: LoLTyler1, also known as the most renown athletes in the American game of football and collegiate participants, is a hard stuck attack-damage, a role found in the monolithic video game, League of Legends. Tyler1 specializes in fields such as sports, academia, and banter. Though Tyler is self-proclaimed to be, quote, “alpha as fuck”, he often cannot pronounce most of the words that his chat uses. Such mispronunciations include this particular instantiation of this current message..
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

ZULUL 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠏⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣠⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⢀⡀⠄⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⢠⣀⣤⣍⡻⣿⣧⡀⠤⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡇⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⢒⠄⣀⠄⠠⠘⢨⣈⢿⣿⣿⣤⣤⡚⠫⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⣰⣿⣆⢿⠋⣀⣀⣰⡏⣾⣿⣿⠿⣿⣧⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠈⠁⠚⠛⠛⠙⠻⢿⣟⠛⣉⠄⠁⠉⢩⣼⠁⠓⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡷⠉⢀⣿⡏⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠉⠉⣉⠉⣩⠉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣷⡴⠿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠋⠛⠛⠛⠋⠛⠉⠒⠻⠛⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠛⠓⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣏⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

I am glad Protoss exists

twitchquotes: Say what you will about the Protoss race, but I for one am glad they exist. I was born with a disability that means I only have 1 finger on each hand. Blizzard was extremely considerate to provide a race I can win with even with this disability, very inclusive. Oh also my disability left me blind and with only 3 brain cells but Protoss allows me to get a low GM rank. Thank you Blizzard for caring for the disabled like me :)
twitch chat
March 2019

Starcraft 2

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful I am disgusted. Of all the people who deserve to be shat on, Jerma is the last person on that list. He ended his last stream abruptly in tears, he didn't even go to the subs list. I wasn't even looking at chat at that moment, so I was confused. I go on Twitter and I see a trending hashtag #Jerma985isOverParty, people generally being very mean to him, and why? Because apparently he compared Dr. Who to Rick & Morty. Wow. Congratulations, you bullied a 36-year-old young boy to tears, just because of a joke. Grow a thicker skin, snowflakes.
July 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing