[Copypasta] I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Infinite Cum Part 3

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

Trollge face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠛⠛⠛⠟⠻⠛⡻⠿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⢀⠠⠖⠚⠒⠒⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣫⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣐⣤⣴⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡐⠬⣿⢷⠀⠐⢹⡿⠛⠛⣛⣛⣓⣛⡓⣶⣄⠀⣦⠈⠂⠎⢻⣧⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠿⠵⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣳⡵⠀⠂⢴⣿⣿⣷⡿⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣄⣀⣼⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠻⢻⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣰⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⡇⢀⣶⠋⣥⢶⣿⣈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⡙⣷⡀ ⣷⣾⠁⡼⢡⣿⠛⣡⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⠛⣷⠀⢳⢘⣷ ⣿⣿⠀⠇⢸⣏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡀⢸⢰⣿ ⣿⢿⣧⠘⣾⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠈⠿⣷⣾⣷⣶⣤⣭⣂⣼⠿⣷⣬⡟⣁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣰⠂⣾⣾⡿ ⡇⠀⠿⣷⡈⠻⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⡷⠈⢻⠛⠿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣄⣈⣉⣠⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⡟⠻⠙⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣼⠃⣼⣿⠟⠁ ⠃⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠹⠏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣧⣰⠀⡀⠛⠃⠊⠹⡟⠋⠛⣿⠿⠛⠛⡏⠉⠋⡇⠀⣀⠇⢰⣇⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠎⣸⡿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣸⠀⡇⢠⠀⣼⣠⣀⠀⡇⠀⡀⣄⣰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡞⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⢿⡙⠻⣿⡇⢀⠇⣥⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣆⣉⠁⠀⢋⠋⠀⡋⢹⡟⠉⢻⠋⠉⡏⠏⠀⢨⡀⠀⠀⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⡇⠙⠳⣌⠻⣿⣿⣆⠐⣼⣆⢠⠀⢻⣄⠀⢸⡂⠀⠂⡄⠀⢸⣷⣼⣶⣿⣿⠟⣻⣯⠁⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡦⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠙⣷⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣿⣄⡂⣸⣇⣀⢰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⠿⢋⣱⣾⣿⣇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⢨⣿⠀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣙⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⠅⠀⠀⣇⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⣣⣠⣍⣳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣂⠀⠀⢙⣧⡐⠀⠀⠀
March 2021

Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
March 2019

Classic

Our arm of righteous spam will smite thee!

twitchquotes: ~~~~~~~[]=¤ԅ( ◔益◔ )ᕗ The longer you cage us, the harder our arm of righteous spam will smite thee! ~~~~~~~[]=¤ԅ( ◔益◔ )ᕗ
twitch chat
July 2015
Trick2g

plebs vs subs

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing