[Copypasta] I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Being a hentai actress must be so weird

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000¥ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
February 2021

Weebs

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Kripp I am a young beautiful Korean girl

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ɢɪʀʟ (>‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪɢɢʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ♡‿‿♡ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Get Jousted

twitchquotes: ╰༼.◕ヮ◕.༽つ¤=[]———— Get Jousted
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing