I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonaldβs for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonaldβs I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'βΟ3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion
twitchquotes:
Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I cam I saw I came I saw
twitchquotes:
I came π I saw π I came π I saw π I praise π the Lord π then break π₯ the law π©ββοΈ I take ποΈ what's mine πββοΈ then take ποΈ some more π It rains π§οΈ it pours β it rains π§οΈ it pours β
twitch chat
Greetings Michael, this is your Mother
twitchquotes:
Greeting Michael, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Pobelter boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see...
twitch chat
imaqtpie
have you ever had a dream like this?
have you ππΏ ever π had a dreams π΄π- thats β- that you ππ»π€ uhm π€ you π had you π- you π could- you π do what you 
want π- you π could do- so you ππ¦- you π do- you π could do you π€π- you πΈπ wan π- you πΈπ want π him π΄ to do so much π₯ that you could do anything π°?
want π- you π could do- so you ππ¦- you π do- you π could do you π€π- you πΈπ wan π- you πΈπ want π him π΄ to do so much π₯ that you could do anything π°?