[Copypasta] I am coming back from my 10 minute ban

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

January 2021

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Everything points to Amogus

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ascii art

March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

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EU COMING THROUGH v2

twitchquotes: EU COMING THROUGH LUL

TRY AND EXTERMINATE A GROUP OF PEOPLE LUL

NEEDS AMERICA TO SAVE THEM LUL

STILL HAS A ROYAL FAMILY LUL

SOCIALISTS LUL

NO FREE SPEECH LUL

MARRY 16 YEAR OLDS LUL

STABBINGS IN EU LUL

twitch chat

March 2019

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EU vs NA

Doublelift Pony Roleplay Minecraft server

twitchquotes: hey, Doublelift! i'm an admin from PinkieCraft 🌈, the pony roleplay Minecraft server that you play on! i wanted to personally extend my thank you for the 1000$ you donated to help keep our server alive! next time you log on we'll make sure to let me know and i'll make sure to get you that custom pony body you donated for! i regret to inform you, however, that we don't currently have a way to give you "20 foot horse cock" like you requested but we'll work on it thank you

twitch chat

December 2016

Doublelift

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League of Legends

Spooky skeleton

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November 2014

[Copypasta] I am coming back from my 10 minute ban

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MODS

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MODS

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

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Everything points to Amogus

Among Us / Amogus

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EU COMING THROUGH v2

Classic

EU vs NA

Doublelift Pony Roleplay Minecraft server

Classic

League of Legends

Spooky skeleton

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[Copypasta] I am coming back from my 10 minute ban

Classic

MODS

Classic

MODS

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Classic

Everything points to Amogus

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

EU COMING THROUGH v2

Classic

EU vs NA

Doublelift Pony Roleplay Minecraft server

Classic

League of Legends

Spooky skeleton

Classic

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