[Copypasta] I am coming back from my 10 minute ban

twitchquotes: I am coming back from my 10 minute ban, and I want to say that I think it was bullshit. Yes, I wrote a funny paragraph that turned into copypasta, which happened to bring a laugh or a smile to a few people. If you mods wanted that to stop, you could have just said so, there is so much copypasta going on in this chat that I could have never thought that deserved a 10 minute ban. Reggie is probably a mod in here and he is the one that banned me. Anyway, I'm glad to be back
twitch chat
April 2021

Classic

MODS

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Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

A single Dongerbill can save a life

twitchquotes: Hello, I'm Sarah McLanchdong. Every day millions of poor, helpless dongers go unraised everyday. Dongers that are abused and negated, like this poor fellow ༼ ▀̿ ̿ ل͟ຈ ༽. For just one Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] a day we can help save these forgotten dongers (◉_☢) ༼ ͝°ʖಠ ༽ ( ͡°ل͜ º) from a life time of being lowered. Your there only hope, because just a minute of your time and a single Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] can save a life.
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

Are you going to pay for another pizza?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

Uninstalling valorant

UNINSTALLING VALORANT ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▢ 　　╭━╮╭━╮╭╮　╱ 　　 　　╰━┫╰━┫╰╯╱╭╮ 　　 　　╰━╯╰━╯　╱　╰╯ 　　　　　 　　　 COMPLETE
ascii art
June 2021

Valorant

Classic

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

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