[Copypasta] You will never be an anime girl

You will never be an anime girl. You have no ancestry, you have no weebship, you have no skills that would make neon Tokyo ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating nerdy man twisted by delusions of mythical Katana superiority and exposure to media folded over 3000 times into a disgusting mockery of metalworkings perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a the globally useless talents of Uwudo and Iya-giri to a 中二 level was a worthwhile 使い方 of お前's time, but one can't expect that an individual as 羞耻 as テメ will ever know the value of the 仲間 you threw away in doing that. Actual Sasukes are すごい キモい by you. Thousands of years of 自然進化 have allowed 侍 to identify 偽物語 from mannerisms and 言語力 alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a 野良犬 somehow passes as normal (しないよ、ど阿呆), any Soul Eater person will immediately 両断 all 迷い when they 聞く the 声 and 広島-ben of someone who is not only a basic 下忍 at best, but worth no more than ゴミカス in skills, accomplishments, and no ワイフ yes フレンド. You will never be 幸せおちゃめ機能。 You wrench out a 偽笑い and www草 to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own 船長, as you project your disgusting traits onto your 委員長. However, deep inside you feel the 不安 creeping up like a 桜, ready to crush you under the バスト2三一 Zz ガンダム, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new リスナー in which to be 無視, and not even the exotic trait of being 海外ニッキ makes up for just how uninteresting of a 無言赤スパ you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold はあちゃま. Your ママ will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable 恥ざらし and ゴミカス死ね. They’ll bury you with a 妖怪 marked with your 領域展開, and every 上弦の鬼 for the rest of eternity will know a 黒船 is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a ギルザレン that is 語り部幽霊. This is your 運命. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. 憎い yourself and 謝れ for being リア充 to some Virtual entity that exists only in your mind while actual people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021
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Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

WeebsOut

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⡇⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣴⣿⡇⢸⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⠧⠸⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣆⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⡷⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡴⠖⢢⠠⣭⣭⣥⣚⠼⣀⡚⠴⢡⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣌⢻⡿⣫⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣧⡸⠄⠹⣿⢿⣿⣇⠿⠛⢣⣞⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠓⡀⣿⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⢹⡿⡋⡀⠄⢬⡹⣷⢀⣀⣸⡇⢘⣿⣿⡇⢻⠘⠄ ⣿⣿⡋⠴⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⠉⠹⠡⡟⣘⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡓⡘⡆⠄ ⠟⡟⠄⢀⡖⣨⢲⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣦⣭⣭⠭⣭⣭⡭⣭⣍⣭⡄⠄ ⢠⠇⠄⠈⠄⡥⠋⠄⠄⠙⠒⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⢃⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠄⠩⣽⡇⠄ ⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠓⢤⡀⠄⠄⣸⠁⠚⠛⠛⠳⣖⢄⠄⠛⡃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⣄⣴⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣆⣬⡅⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⣠⣶⡴⡖⠁⠘⢷⠄
June 2021

Weebs

Monte Cristo's statement

twitchquotes: hello my fellow kappas my name is Kappastankapsterinocunnio, you could also call me monte cristo. voyboy is very gud in mid beddar than link and mid pack and mediorcre. i learn to spell from russian infantry 586. i hate regi cuz he monkey king and spews garbage and lies to all of my wrong doings. I jack off with clg hat in korea instead of coache mai team . voyboy is a sweet hart i wish we *** someteim i luv him. he *** my team in playoffs and i leik it all the time. enuff about voyboy more about kappa town. kappaccino koccino frappatino pls no copy pastarinocappaciino cocinai luv u all pjsaltyarion
twitch chat
August 2014
onGamers

Create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA

twitchquotes: Hello @imaqtpie :) I really appreciate your honorable try to create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA. But one thing, dressing up as one is a little bit to much, isn't it?
twitch chat
March 2018
imaqtpie

A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing