[Copypasta] P*****b "Finna Nut" button

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.

April 2021

Le Toucan has arrived

░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▀██▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄███░▌▀▀░▀█░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░▄█░░▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▐░░░░█▌░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▐█▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▌░░░░░▐█▄░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▌▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄░░░ ░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄███████████████ ░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████░░

ascii art

January 2015

Classic

Pleb

twitchquotes: “Pleb” is a shorthand for the English noun “plebeian,” an outdated term which originally referred to a commoner belonging to a lower socioeconomic class in ancient Rome. Online, the term has been often used as a pejorative label for someone who is considered unsophisticated or uncultured, or a person that can be compared as poor to the speaker.

twitch chat

May 2015

Trump

My favorite character is the reaper guy

twitchquotes: My favorite character is the reaper guy. he is very powerfull. special move, honestly is one of the best in the game and so he comes equipped with these two revolvers and only takes about 3 or 4 shots to actually execute a kill so it comes really in handy specially when you come from the side.

twitch chat

October 2020

Overwatch

CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

twitch chat

August 2015

Kripp

[Copypasta] P*****b "Finna Nut" button

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

Le Toucan has arrived

Classic

Pleb

My favorite character is the reaper guy

Overwatch

CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER

Confirm Subscription