[Copypasta] Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021
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Silence the silenced watcher

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โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ ›โ ‹โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โฃปโฃฉโฃ‰โ ‰โ ‰ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ „โ „โ ‰โ ‰โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃคโ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขคโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก€โ „โ „โ „ โก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ „โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โฃ‹โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ™โ ›โขทโก€โ „โ „ โฃฟโก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ  โฃพโฃฟโฃทโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃ„โฃขโฃคโฃคโฃพโฃฟโก€โ „ โฃฟโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃนโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขŸโขโฃ  โฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ‰โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฅโก€โ ‰โขโกฅโ ˆ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขนโฃ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ’โ ›โ ›โ ‹โ ‰โ ‰โ ›โขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโข€โกญโฃคโ „ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกผโฃฟโ ทโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ€โฃ โฃฟโฃŸโขทโขพโฃŠโ „โ „ โ ‰โ ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโฃˆโฃ‰โฃญโฃฝโกฟโ Ÿโข‰โขดโฃฟโก‡โฃบโฃฟโฃท โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ โ โขŠโฃกโฃดโฃพโฃฅโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
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So Iโ€™m an AMC shareholder

So Iโ€™m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I canโ€™t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now Iโ€™m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

twitchquotes: Red ๐Ÿ”ด ๐Ÿ“› sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ. Red ๐Ÿ”ด ๐Ÿ”ด suuuus. I ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘„ ๐Ÿ‘ said ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ—ฃ ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฆ red ๐Ÿ‘น ๐Ÿ”ด, sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ, hahahahaha ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ. Why ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿค” arent you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‘ˆ laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚? I ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ just made ๐Ÿ‘‘ ๐Ÿ‘‘ a reference ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ to the popular ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ video ๐Ÿ“น ๐Ÿ“น game ๐ŸŽฎ ๐ŸŽฎ "Among ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด๐ŸŽ› ๐Ÿ’ฐ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ"! How can you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ ๐Ÿ‘ˆ not laugh ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿค! Guys ๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿ‘จ, this here guy ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป doesnt laugh ๐Ÿคฃ โ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜… at my funny ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜ƒ Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ’ฐ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ memes ๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ˜‚! Lets ๐Ÿ™† ๐Ÿ™† beat โœŠ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ‘Š him ๐Ÿ‘ด ๐Ÿ‘จ to death ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’ฅโ“ ๐Ÿ’€! Dead ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚ โ˜  body ๐Ÿ’ƒ ๐Ÿ’ƒ reported โ˜Ž ๐Ÿง! Skip ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผ! Skip ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿง! Vote ๐Ÿ” ๐Ÿ” blue ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’™! Blue ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’™ was not an impostor ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜ . Among ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ in a nutshell ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜  hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘‹ ๐Ÿ˜‚. What?! Youre still ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ not laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ your ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ ass ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ…ฐ off ๐Ÿ“ด ๐Ÿ“ดโ˜ ? I ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ made ๐Ÿ‘‘ ๐Ÿ‘‘ SEVERAL ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ’ฏ funny ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜ƒโ“ references ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ“– to Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ”ฅ STILL ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿ™„ ARENT LAUGHING ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ฆ??!!! Bruh โš  ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚. Ya ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŽผ ๐Ÿ™€ hear ๐Ÿ‘‚ ๐Ÿ‘‚ that? Wooooooosh ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ. Whats ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ woooosh ๐Ÿš ๐Ÿš? Oh ๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ™€, nothing โŒ ๐Ÿšซ. Just the sound ๐Ÿ‘‚ ๐Ÿ”Š of a joke ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ flying โœˆ โœˆ over ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ” your ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ head ๐Ÿ’† ๐Ÿ’†. Whats ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿค” that? You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ ๐Ÿ‘‰ think ๐Ÿ’ญ ๐Ÿ’ญ im ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’˜ annoying ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜ ? Kinda ๐Ÿ™… ๐Ÿ™… sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ, bro ๐Ÿ‘† ๐ŸŒˆโ˜บ๐Ÿ‘ฌ. Hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚! Anyway ๐Ÿ”› ๐Ÿ”›, yea ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ’ฏ, gotta ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ go ๐Ÿƒ ๐Ÿƒ do tasks โœ” ๐Ÿ“‹. Hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚!
twitch chat
December 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Hosty can you roleplay as a ghost in real life?

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) hosty can u please roleplay so when ur ghosting u pretend ur a ghost in real life? thank you (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing