[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

HELLO DALLAS FUEL? IT'S THE POINT

twitchquotes: πŸ“ž 4Head HELLO DALLAS FUEL? πŸ“ž 4Head IT'S THE POINT πŸ“ž 4Head IM RUNNING OUT OF TIME
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

WIFE TEST

twitchquotes: WIFE TEST πŸ‘© IF YOU TOUCH THE WIFE , GO TO CHEAT πŸ† ⎝ forsenCD / πŸ† 
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.α•™ΰ»’(Λ΅οΏ£α΄₯οΏ£Λ΅)ΰ₯­α•—
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hello! My name is Reynad!

twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Text-to-Speech Playing