[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Now I remember why I fell asl...

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Mill Druid. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player

twitchquotes: SMOrc Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player. Whatever is going on in your laddering right now, please know that you go face and you only ever go face. You are skilled. SMOrc
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

spagootie

sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days. next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
April 2022

Tuck Frump

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
Forsen

You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021
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