[Copypasta] SpongeBob is asexual (spoilers)

SpongeBob is asexual No this isn’t some lgbtq+ stuff He’s a fucking sea sponge They reproduce asexually
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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EGGYAYA

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢻⡿⢋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⡎⣿ ⣿⢻⣿⡇⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠁⣾⣷⣶⣮⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⢸ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⡘⣷⣮⣍⡛⠿⣿⠋⣠⣦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣭⣙⠻⣿⡜⣌⠂ ⡟⣰⡘⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⢀⣭⡙⠓⠈⠛⠛⣋⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⣥⣴⣅⡉⣰ ⢱⣿⣷⡜⢿⣆⢻⣿⠋⣠⡾⠋⡉⣀⢞⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠣⠄⣈⠹⣦⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣙ ⡿⠛⠋⣉⣉⡙⢱⣿⣾⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⡐⣿ ⢶⣾⢹⣄⡠⣸⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⢏ ⣧⢻⣷⣶⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣼⣿⠿⢟⣫⣥⠶⢊⡁⣼⣧⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⠠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⠟⣛⣥⡾⢟⣫⣴⣿⠟⢋⣠⣴⣿⢀⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⡇⠙ ⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⣋⣴⡿⠛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠫⠤⠚⢛⠛⣛⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣬⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⠄
November 2021
Mizkif

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Kripp's corgi Fey yips at Kripp

twitchquotes: CorgiDerp "Alright, yip at Kripp, I guess" CorgiDerp "Haven't yipped at Kripp in a while, let's go yip" CorgiDerp "Yipping at Kripp isn't that good, but alright" CorgiDerp
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing