[Copypasta] McDonald's BTS Meal

So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster. Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created. I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army". bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

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Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

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Fortnite default dance 7

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⣤⣤ ⠀⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⣤⣀ ⣶⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣀⣤⣶⣭⣿⣶⣀ ⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠛⠿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠛⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉
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EU hearthstone expansion delayed

twitchquotes: LUL I am from EU LUL my breath smells like poo LUL Expansion delayed LUL And the server's down too LUL
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

EU vs NA

Female Amogus Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠛⠋⠉⣭⠙⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠙⣀⣠⡤⠶⠶⠶⠾⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡏⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⡇⠀⠸⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⡀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠶⢶⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⣿⣶⣶⢤⣤⣤⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⠉⢉⣛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣿⣤⣄⣀⢸⣿⠆⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠏⠍⠀⠀⢹⣿⠈⣿⠀⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠏⠈⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⠀⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣻⡇⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃⠀⣿⣇⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣄⣀⣀⢀⣼⡟⠀⢰⣿⢿⢼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠈⣿⢸⣆⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠷⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡯⡄⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠀⠀⢂⣀⡻⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣧⠁⠀⠀⢠⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣧⣤⡶⠿⠙⢹⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⣀⣻⣷⣦⣤⣴⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⣠⣶⡿⠋⠀ ⣴⡿⢯⠅⠉⣹⣿⠟⠛⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⣀⣤⣴⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠙⢿⣷⣤⣤⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣴⡶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing