So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster.
Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created.
I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army".
bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
I used to be a real ad
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I'm getting mighty SPOOKED over here
twitchquotes:
STOP POSTING SKELETONS im getting mighty SPOOKED over here
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imaqtpie
TIFU: By slapping my wifeโs ass
TIFU: By slapping my wifeโs ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with โyes daddy, spank me harder!โ (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with โwhatโs wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?โ
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donโt think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wifeโs ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donโt know if I can ever have sex again
Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2
It's Cinco de mayo... ๐๐ฎ๐ but all I want ๐๐ป is cinco DICKS ๐ฏ in my May-OUTH ๐ฉ๐
๐ฆ Today the SEXicans ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ beat the French ๐๐ซ๐ท at the Battle of Puebla ๐ซโ and now you're gonna get your piรฑata beat ๐๐ฉ with a huge stick ๐ณ๐ but โ๏ธONLYโ๏ธ if you send ๐ฒ this to 5๏ธโฃ amigos ๐ฌ you'd cross borders โก๏ธ for ๐๐ป๐ฏ Get 5๏ธโฃ back ๐ and you'll find the Juan for you tonight โค๏ธโบ๏ธ๐
Cinco de Mayo
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Holiday
Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat
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Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
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Buying calls on Gamestop
I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.