Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER
twitchquotes:
You idly watching the stream, mindlessly wasting yet another evening. You notice 4+ length message in the chat. Grabbing the mouse, hovering over, scrolling up. Reading the message and realizing the pasta has no meaning at all. CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER. You are retarded.
twitch chat
Classic
What is trolling?
twitchquotes:
Trolling - the mental disorder of being in-denial while not having to admit that they're truly lonely and in need of desperate attention while also being under the influence of being sarcastic and in most cases just idiotic. Trolling is also represented by just typing the 
emote. Pls copypaste to spread awareness
emote. Pls copypaste to spread awareness
twitch chat
imaqtpie
The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing
That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY
twitchquotes:
(ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง) I AM EUROFAG. I have a 100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง)
twitch chat
Kripp
EU vs NA
Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku
twitchquotes:
"Tides my player," say the Reynardino, "you are my slaverrino, why don't you make videos?" But the Tides don't respond. He elopes to C9 and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Kolento. Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku at a Saltbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
Reynad