Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Amazed Face
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Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance
Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have:
10% LUCK
20% SKLZ
15% CPW
5% PLTR
50% PAIN
and 100% R.TO (RTN)
is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
WallStreetBets
I was banned for posting long paragraphs
twitchquotes:
Hi Trump I was banned for posting "long paragraphs" according to my 3rd grade english teacher a paragraph is 6 or more sentences and a long paragraph is over 9. I would like compensation for this bannerino i recieved from some of your le nazi mods. I think that this should recieve at least 420/69 points for my paper. Please no copy pasterilni linguini pleaserini.
twitch chat
Trump
My family keeps making Amongus references
It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at homeπ―π€¬ don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πππ. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πππ But then the worse partπ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS π but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention π―π
π€£
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πππ. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πππ But then the worse partπ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS π but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention π―π
π€£
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
Among Us / Amogus
HYDRA SUMMONING SPELL
twitchquotes:
THIS IS THE SUMMONING SPELL 
FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG
FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG
twitch chat