[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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LS, aka Low Standards is an LCK commentator

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Low Standards", is a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for his annoying personality and questionable game knowledge. He is specifically known for his Annie and Tahm โ€œThomasโ€ Kench two-trick-pony in low platinum solo-queue..
twitch chat
April 2019
LCK

League of Legends

A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

Classic

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi Godโ€™s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradลซฤten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the โ€œInternetโ€? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spฤ“king wit minen aspฤซeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spฤซen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spฤซtว’us frivลl thou namest โ€œthine lifโ€. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cว’uthest hauen knouen what unblessed pลซnฤซciว’un thine littel โ€œgleuโ€ glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tว’ng stille. But thou cว’uthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

Kripp subscribes to life

twitchquotes: ๏ผฉใ€€๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝใ€€๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ†๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆใ€€๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ†ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ใ€€๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ผ›ใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ—ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝใ€€๏ผฉใ€€๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ„๏ผŸใ€€๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ“ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ†ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผฆ๏ผฅ๏ผใ€€iโ€™๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ’๏ฝ™ใ€€๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ”ใ€€๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผณใ€€๏ผญ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผจใ€€๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝŽโ€™๏ฝ”ใ€€๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ใ€€๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŒใ€€๏ผต๏ผฎ๏ผณ๏ผต๏ผข๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผค๏ผŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

FrankerZ

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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