[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Anime girl stare

⠄⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⢸⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣿⡿⠸⡇⣸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠷⠄⠿⠿⠿⠟⠓⠰⠘⠿⣿⣿⡈⣿⡇⢹⡟⠰⠦⠁⠈⠉⠋⠄⠻⢿⣿ ⢨⡑⠶⡏⠛⠐⠋⠓⠲⠶⣭⣤⣴⣦⣭⣥⣮⣾⣬⣴⡮⠝⠒⠂⠂⠘⠉⠿⠖⣬ ⠈⠉⠄⡀⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠈⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⣀⣤⣤⣠⡀⠄⡀⠈⠁ ⠄⠠⣾⡀⣾⣿⣧⣼⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⡇⠄ ⡀⠄⠻⣷⡘⢿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⠟⢁⠈ ⢃⢻⣶⣬⣿⣶⣬⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣾⢣ ⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘ ⣿⡐⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⢃ ⣿⣷⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⠆⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠠⠂⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢵⢠⣈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⡁⢰⠏⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡄⢢⠨⠄⣯⠄⠄⣌⣉⠛⠻⠟⠛⢋⣉⣤⠄⢸⡇⣨⣤⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Weebs

Real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games at a time

twitchquotes: 2 games at the same time? filthy casual. real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games with one hand tied behind their back. seriously kripp, if you want to keep your viewers you better step it up. sincerely, a soon to be ex-kripplet
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
July 2022

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing