[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room

twitchquotes: What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room, behind my wooden pc watching a guy play a card game for children, probably earning my yearly salary in a week's time. All of my ambitions are now gone. Only thing that i have left is my old pc and a memory of who i once was...
twitch chat
June 2019

Hearthstone

3-eyed face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€(◐)β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–“(◐)β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“(◐)β–ˆβ–“ β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€
November 2014

How traders politely decline the second date

I discovered recently if I am on a date and I’m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They won’t ask for another one then, I won’t have to politely decline.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

coronaS

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ£«β Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ›β ›β ³β’Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ£›β‘½β Ώβ ›β Ÿβ‘Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£½β ‹β‘β’±β „β£€β£€β£€β£€β£β ¨β’»β‘…β β Œβ‘ˆβ Šβ’β ‰β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’β …β£¨β –β ‹β ‰β €β‘°β ¬β ©β ™β ²β’·β Άβ’–β ’β ’β’šβ‘»β Άβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£«β‘žβ’°β ‰β‘€β €β €β’”β£¨β ΄β ’β ‹β ‰β ‰β ‰β ™β “β’¦β‘¨β –β ’β šβ ›β ›β “β šβ Ώβ£Ÿβ£Ώ β‘Ώβ’»β ƒβ‘‡β’ˆβ ¦β£‘β –β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β£ β£Άβ£„β €β €β ƒβ €β €β €β €β’€β£΄β£¦β‘€β ˆβ’Ώ β —β‘ˆβ €β Šβ β €β£‰β£›β‘’β£„β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ šβ ƒβ €β£ β£‡β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β ‹β’€β£ β£Ύ β €β ‘β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β ‰β “β ―β’΅β£Άβ£Άβ£–β ’β£¬β‘­β žβ ‰β’‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β£‰β ‰β’β£·β£Ώβ£Ώ β ³β‘€β €β ‰β ’β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β ΄β šβ ‰β €β €β ™β “β’¦β‘Άβ Άβ’–β Ίβ£―β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£„β ˆβ’·β£„β €β ˆβ ³β£„β£ β €β €β €β €β’€β£₯⣀⣀⣠⣀⑀⠀⠀⠭⠁⠐⠒⠛Ⓙ⣿⣿ β‘ˆβ ‘β£¦β ˆβ ³β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β Ήβ£Ώ β ›β’¦β‘€β ‘β ¨β Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£΄β£Ώ β €β ˆβ ™β’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώ β’₯⣄⣀①⠬⠲⠦⣀⣄⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠙⠒⠿⒭⣿⣓⣲⠢⠢⠬⠭⠭⠿⠿⠢⠢⠢⣢③⒢⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ‹β ‰β ‰β €β €β ™β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Pepe

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌβ–€ΜΏ ΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏΰΌ½ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. ΰΌΌβ–€ΜΏ ΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏΰΌ½
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing