Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
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Story of Felipe
twitchquotes:
Let me tell you about Felipe. Felipe is good boy from Guadalajara. He wake at 6:00 to make food for white man. He eat his chipotle like a good boy, and clean the taco like a good boy. When he finish burrito he play stonehearth, but Felipe is sad. Felipe say he no win because of Kripp, and Felipe want retribution. Beware your taco kripp, it may have jalapeno poison...
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Kripp
ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS
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⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
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Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Pokemon
Before I know it, the entire neighbourhood is soaked
twitchquotes:
Hi, Reckfull here, from noLife gaming. This is just a friendly reminder that whenever I see 
or something similar, I lose control of my bodily functions and go into a mad, crazed state of unrelenting sexual frenzy! Before I know it, the entire neighborhood is soaked, and worst of all, I have to order a new Mr. Duck™ every time! So please, remember to keep your children at least 100 yards from my property, and try to keep the to a minimum, for everyone's sake. Thanks!
or something similar, I lose control of my bodily functions and go into a mad, crazed state of unrelenting sexual frenzy! Before I know it, the entire neighborhood is soaked, and worst of all, I have to order a new Mr. Duck™ every time! So please, remember to keep your children at least 100 yards from my property, and try to keep the to a minimum, for everyone's sake. Thanks!
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Reckful
I have a really small keyboard
twitchquotes:
ʰᵉˡᵖ ᵐᵉ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵏᵉʸᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵗᵘᶜᵏ ᵗʸᵖᶦⁿᵍ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ
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