[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

WTF IS MEGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the LUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could LUL at the 4Head fags but now MEGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

This message is protected by a special font

twitchquotes: Tแ•ผIแ”• แ—ฐแ•ฎแ”•แ”•แ—ฉGแ•ฎ Iแ”• แ‘ญแ–‡OTแ•ฎแ‘•Tแ•ฎแ—ช แ—ทY แ—ฉ แ”•แ‘ญแ•ฎแ‘•Iแ—ฉแ’ช แ–ดOแ‘ŽT. IT'แ”• Iแ—ฐแ‘ญOแ”•แ”•Iแ—ทแ’ชแ•ฎ TO แ‘•Oแ‘ญY IT.
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

Youโ€™ve ๐Ÿ“ก๐Ÿ‘จ seen ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ค๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Miku on ๐Ÿ”› stage, 4๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ’– but ๐Ÿ˜  what ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ about ๐Ÿฅด your ๐Ÿ‘‰ wrist? โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World ๐ŸŒ is an AR game ๐ŸŽฏ using ๐Ÿ˜ wristbands, now ๐Ÿซ‚ featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even โœ‹ save ๐ŸฆŽ the world! ๐ŸŒ Do ๐Ÿ‘€ You ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ฆ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World? ๐ŸŒŽ wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ world ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜Ž Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โ˜บ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ but when I came, ๐Ÿ‘ป I started floating, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐Ÿคค ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐Ÿ˜ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐Ÿคช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐Ÿ’ช โ€œIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ€ I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐Ÿคค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ™โ˜น๏ธ She then said I was going to a magical place called the โ€œmental asylumโ€ ๐Ÿค” Iโ€™m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text

twitchquotes: I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text. He will just skip over this as just another "copy pasta" I bet. This message is very important and I am triggered that Kripp will just skip over it. Copy paste this message to make Kripp read this meaningful message
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing