[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi. Whatever is going on in your kokoro right now, please know that you are kawaii and your story is not a filler. You are loved (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) KonCha
twitch chat
March 2018

Weebs

Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy

twitchquotes: Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but taking 20+ damage in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Hearthstone

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

Dance party

โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ•”โ•กโ–โ–โ•žโ•โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ•”โ•กโ–โ–โ•žโ•โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•กโ–Œโ–Œโ•žโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ DANCE PARTY โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ•”โ•กXXโ•žโ•โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ•”โ•กXXโ•žโ•โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•กXXโ•žโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

Spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm here from Maple Story, just wanted to say that I can see why you were being a bunch of immature children in chat - seeing as you literally play a kids game. Honestly, it's just sad seeing you losers spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack or whatever. Grow up!
twitch chat
January 2019

EVO

Text-to-Speech Playing