[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Sodapoppin Tanner from Highschool

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Sodapoppin" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic
twitch chat
November 2018
sodapoppin

Tanner from High School

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I LOVE YOU CHAT

⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⠛⢻⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⠄⢠⣶⡄⠄⢻⡀⠈⣿⡇⠄⣼⡇⠄⣶⣶⣶⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⢸⣇⠄⢹⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⣀⣀⣀⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⠉⠉⣷⡀⠈⠛⠁⢀⣾⣿⡄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡇⠄⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿⠟⠛⣻⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠏⠄⣰⡏⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⢿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣰⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣧⡀⠈⠛⠁⢀⣿⣇⠄⠙⠋⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⣴⣦⣀⣽⡇⠄⠿⠿⠄⠄⣿⣿⠁⢀⠄⢻⣧⣤⡄⠄⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⣿⣿⠿⣿⡇⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠾⠄⠈⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⠁⠄⣼⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⠄⢠⣤⣄⠄⢹⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2019

You know what really bothers me?

twitchquotes: You know what really bothers me? When I walk into a public restroom and find semen and urine all over the seat of the only toilet there. It disgusts me and makes me really uncomfortable. That's how I feel reading this chat. Please no copy pasterino, these are my personal feelings and not to be mocked.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Hey subs, it's me walking with my $5, don't mind me

twitchquotes: Hey subs! [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5)̲̅$̲̅]ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง It's me walking with my $5, don't mind me.
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing