[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

is that… a GIRL?!!!?

is that… a GIRL?!!!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh girls? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like, here? *starts sweating* uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *starts drooling* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *wide eyed* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts farting* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts shitting with bloodshot eyes* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *poopie leaking out of my shorts* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts convulsing which makes the shit run down my shaved legs even faster* UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH *gets a boner* UUUHHH-UHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUHHHH-UHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH *passes out*
May 2022

forsenpepE

⠄⣾⠟⢋⣉⣙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⣶⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⣿⣴⠟⣋⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠻⣿⣷ ⣿⠘⠋⠉⠉⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣾⣥⣶⣶⣤⣍⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠘⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⣀⣀⣚⣛⣉⣥⡴⠾⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⡋⠄⠄⣀⠉⠛⠿⢿⠟⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⠛⠿⠟⢻⣿⣡⣴⡶⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡙⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣽⣿⠟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣿⣿⣮⣭⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠏⣁⣀⢔⠿⠋⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⣰⣟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⠞⣉⣁⣉⣁⣈⡀⠘⠛⠛⠉⣤⣚⣛⣙⣋⣻⣇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣼⡟⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⣀⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⢻⣀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡈⠻⢷⣤⣙⠒⠶⢤⣭⣭⣭⣭⠍⢉⣩⣾⡿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣈⡛⠻⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⣛⣉⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⠟⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠶⡶⢶⠲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Among us has ruined a generation

Among us has ruined a generation. Everywhere I go, I see their divisor. It can't be stopped. I go shopping and I find among us mini figures. I look online for a better bin, and then I find a trash can with a red colour, and I can't stop myself saying "HAHA THATS A BIT SUSSY!" I look for champion clothes, but hold on- if you rotate the c it turns into- oh no... Gen Z wont stop saying a sentence without the word SUS in it. SOS? SUS. I go to Mcdonalds to cheer myself up, but while browsing through my phone, I find that a nugget in the shape of AMOGUS sold for over $1000 dollars, I only wanted peace, but innersloth has become a bit sussy.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
twitch chat
November 2019
MOONMOON

Kripp please supply the world with some salt

twitchquotes: Dear nl_Kripp with the Earth's salt mines running low near depletion. We can always rely on you for stepping up to the plate and supplying the world with some PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing