[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist

LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel. Thank you.
August 2021

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

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Morons will copy anything if it's long enough

twitchquotes: Morons in this chat will copy anything you say if it's long enough. They won't even read the entire message. They just see a paragraph of text and instinctually copy it and paste it as if they wrote it themselves. It's actually sad how brain dead you people can be, copying and pasting things that have no meaning only because it caught your attention. FailFish
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH LULW RANDOM HEALTH PROBLEMS LULW SUPER SPECIFIC SOCIETAL ISSUE LULW EMBARASSING MOMENT IN HISTORY LULW BRING UP YET ANOTHER SPECIFIC WEIRD EVENT LULW
twitch chat
May 2019

EU vs NA

Show us THE decks

twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing