[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

This guy's wallet is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's wallet is CRAZY!” ☑ “My bank account can't win against a payment like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those two credit cards to win" ☑ “He bought the only card that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect purchase" ☑ “There was nothing I could buy" ☑ “I paid that perfectly"
twitch chat
February 2017

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

LULW

⢸⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⢀⣀⣉⣉⣛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣻⣿ ⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⢛⢉⣉⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣁⡀⢙⣛⠛⠉⢙⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠤⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣈⣀⣀⢀⣀⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠐⠛⢻⣻⣿⣟⡛⠛⡿⠷⠿⠄⠈⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⡿⢶⢤⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢰⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣠⣤⣿⣶⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⣿⠿⠛⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠁⠄⠈⠁⣏
September 2019

Origin of Twitch chat Sub Mode

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. "Hafu," Trump speaks breathlessly into the night. "Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here." A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked "Sub Mode." Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. "We will see who says Tuck Frump' now," he says.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

MODS

Helicopter just dropped down to say

damn this shit crazy dawg but ▬▬▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬▬▬ ▂▄▄▓▄▄▂ ◢◤█▀▀████▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◢◤ █▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ╬ ◥ █████ ◤ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ You hella gay, no cap ╬═╬ ☻/ ╬═╬ /▌ ╬═╬ / \
December 2020

Gr8 b8 m8

twitchquotes: Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing