[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Fall Guys

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⣾⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⢿⣇⣸⣿⣿⣇⣸⡿⠃⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⢠⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢸⣿⠇⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣶⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
August 2020

Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

Patient #69 Thijs

twitchquotes: Day 63: Patient #69 still calls himself "Thijs" and thinks he live in Netherlands. Almost every day he plays a children's magic poker game and talks to the screen, every day he must take a pill but he calls it "T-time". Our doctors will continue monitoring #69.
twitch chat
January 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

All Cops Are Sus (ACAS)

Instead of saying ACAB(all cops are bastar*ds) we should start saying ACAS(all cops are sus). Think about it, it's less offensive and it only shows that we think that a cop might be sus(suspicious) of something but not necesseraly guilty of it. It's the same thing in the popular game amogus with thinking that all red players are impostors really. This might sound stupid but hear me out. Statistically, every player regardless of their color has the same chance of being the impostor, yet, there is this social stigma that only red players are impostors. However, players of Amugus have developed this great system that will help them show their suspicion on someone without saying that they are the impostor(in case that they actually aren't). They say that someone is 'sus' so nobody gets their feelings hurt. We can apply this knowledge to the real world, right? If everyone can be an impostor in amongsus, regardless of their color, so can anyone be a bastard in real world, regardless of their task(job as some low inteligence individuals might call it).
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Megaman

░░░░░░░░▄▄█▀▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▄█████▄▄█▄░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀██████▄▄██░░░░ ░░░░░█░█▀░░▄▄▀█░█░░░░ ░░░░░▄██░░░▀▀░▀░█░░░░ ░░▄█▀░░▀█░▀▀▀▀▄▀▀█▄░░ ░▄███░▄░░▀▀▀▀▀▄░███▄░ ░██████░░░░░░░██████░ ░▀███▀█████████▀███▀░ ░░░░▄█▄░▀▀█▀░░░█▄░░░░ ░▄▄█████▄▀░▀▄█████▄▄░ █████████░░░█████████
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing