Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
A man has fallen into depression in Lego city
A man has fallen into depression in Lego city
Start taking anti-depressants
hey.... (he says lifelessly to his wife and friends)
Climb to the top of the lego city bridge and say your goodbyes
Prepare to die, lower your expectations, and off the bridge
The new suicidal collection from Lego City
Lego City
Hey Krip, it's your hairdresser here, Snipparrian
twitchquotes:
Hey Krip, it's your hairdresser here, Snipparrian, I just wanted you to know I'm greatful for the tip you gave me after I shaved your pubic hair into a Swastika, now your mods visit me on a daily basis too keep up the facist chat regime. Copy and pasta so Kripp knows of my thanks ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ
twitch chat
Kripp
my face when americans call chips "french fries"
>my face when americans call chips "french fries"
>my face when americans call crisps "chips"
>my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars"
>my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars"
>my face when americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks"
>my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC"
>my face when americans call meat water "gravy"
>my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables"
>my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger"
>my face when americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens"
>my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs"
>my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich"
>my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards"
>my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly"
>my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator"
>my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater"
>my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift"
>my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie"
>my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver"
>my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun"
>my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb"
>my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball"
>my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake"
>my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"
British People
Taking my polar bear for a walk
twitchquotes:
╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ʕ° ᴥ°ʔ Oh, don't mind me. Just taking my polar bear for a walk.
twitch chat
Trump
I hate Stuart Little
twitchquotes:
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat