Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
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More Copypastas
Kripp ignores chat draft
twitchquotes:
As a young boy, Kripp lived with his family in a chateau in Romania. Kripp had a younger sister who was born frail and prone to illness. The family always took special care to make sure she was never too cold or hot. One day Kripp's parents were late and told Kripp to put his sister to bed. Kripp accidentally left the window of the chateau open, his sister contracted pneumonia and died. At the funeral, his father sobbed and said "My son, why did you ignore the chat draft?"
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump
twitchquotes:
So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
Trump
Menacing
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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Sense of pride and accomplishment
twitchquotes:
The 💰 intent 💰 is 💰 to 💰 provide 💰 players 💰 with 💰 a 💰 sense 💰 of 💰 pride 💰 and 💰 accomplishment 💰 for 💰 unlocking 💰 different 💰 heroes. 💰 As 💰 for 💰 cost, 💰 we 💰 selected 💰 initial 💰 values 💰 based 💰 upon 💰 data 💰 from 💰 the 💰 Open 💰 Beta 💰 and 💰 other 💰 adjustments 💰 made 💰 to 💰 milestone 💰 rewards 💰 before 💰 launch. 💰 Among 💰 other 💰 things, 💰 we're 💰 looking 💰 at 💰 average 💰 per-player 💰 credit 💰 earn 💰 rates 💰 on 💰 a 💰 daily 💰 basis, 💰 and 💰 we'll 💰 be 💰 making 💰 constant 💰 adjustments 💰 to 💰 ensure 💰 that 💰 players 💰 have 💰 challenges 💰 that 💰 are 💰 compelling, 💰 rewarding, 💰 and 💰 of 💰 course 💰 attainable 💰 via 💰 gameplay. We 💰 appreciate 💰 the 💰 candid 💰 feedback, 💰 and 💰 the 💰 passion 💰 the 💰 community 💰 has 💰 put 💰 forth 💰 around 💰 the 💰 current 💰 topics 💰 here 💰 on 💰 Reddit, 💰 our 💰 forums 💰 and 💰 across 💰 numerous 💰 social 💰 media 💰 outlets. Our 💰 team 💰 will 💰 continue 💰 to 💰 make 💰 changes 💰 and 💰 monitor 💰 community 💰 feedback 💰 and 💰 update 💰 everyone 💰 as 💰 soon 💰 and 💰 as 💰 often 💰 as 💰 we 💰 can. 💰
twitch chat
I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)
I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.