Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Tesla is restarting production today
twitchquotes:
Tesla is restarting production today against Alameda County rules. I will be on the line with everyone else. If anyone is arrested, I ask that it only be me.
twitch chat
I tried to go help
Damn saw this one guy getting beat up by 2 other dudes today so I tried to go help, didnβt stand a chance against the 3 of us.
Itβs Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)
Itβs Morbin time!
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
Itβs time for Morbin.
## Why did I do this?
There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to:
I am very Morby
I see you being morbin-able
You morbed me first
## Is Morbius THE movie of all time?
Yes
## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct.
Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
My BODY is machine that turns diary products into spicy liquid diarrhea
My π€ΈββοΈBODYποΈββοΈ is a πππππππππ that turns ππΉπΆπΎππ π
πππΉππΈπππ₯ into β‘ π₯ββ
βΎβΈβπ₯ π³ππΎπππΎπΉπ¦ π©π©π»ππΈβββπΌπΈπͺπͺ
Emoji Pasta
Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku
twitchquotes:
Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat