[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Twin Towers

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
April 2018

"Just one more" Kripp muttered

twitchquotes: "Just one more" Kripp muttered, as the sun slowly rose over the Canadian horizon. His forehead dripping with Vegan sweat, his eyes droopy with fatigue, Rania at the door with suitcases of her stuff and signed divorce papers, and Dex a mere pile of starved bones, Kripp once again clicked the Queue button with Ashka at the ready. "This time I'll get MVP for sure."
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Battlerite

I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool

twitchquotes: Hey, everyone. I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool and we are both freshman. So the thing is I'm kinda shy when asking out people and my courage rn is like Bronze level of weak. I want to ask her out on a date or just see how she really feels about me. Another difficult thing too is that I'm a C9 fan and she is a TSM fan . Do you guys have any advice for me???
twitch chat
March 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

I sexually identify as Harambe

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Harambe

I sexually Identify as

NA is so ba... I should brush my teeth

twitchquotes: SMOrc NA is so ba... SMOrc maybe i should brush my teeth SMOrc NA is s... SMOrc maybe i should floss SMOrc fk give me dentures SMOrc
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Classic

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing