Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF
twitchquotes:
HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR β±πͺπ·π¬π π¦π£β±
HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR β±πͺπ·π¬π π¦π£β±
twitch chat
Classic
Valorant censorship
At least you have the fucking balls to say it.
Like in Valorant in the voice chat if you call someone a retard for being trash at the game and not using a mic, and he's a Russian player, you're "banned". Nevermind that the race of the player exists independently from how trash he is at the game. Obviously not all Russians have no mic, (correlation/causation), but this "all players are equal" political correctness bullshit is making it impossible for Valorant players to solve a problem they cannot discuss.
Valorant
OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?
βΌοΈβΌοΈOH MY GODβΌοΈβΌοΈ IS THAT A π³οΈβπRπ³οΈβπAπ³οΈβπIπ³οΈβπNπ³οΈβπBπ³οΈβπOπ³οΈβπWπ³οΈβπ LOGO?!?!?!?!? ππππ OMG π€―π€―UR SO INCLUSIVEπ±π±π±π± π³οΈβπLGBT π³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈTRANS π³οΈββ§οΈRIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!π³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ UR SO PROGRESSIVE ππ»ββοΈππΌββοΈππ½ββοΈππΎββοΈππΏββοΈ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! ππππ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW π«π©π©πππ₯°π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ
Emoji Pasta
My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)
My daughter is dating a douche-bag
I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man.
The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands".
I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me.
Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.
Cryptocurrency
Hola! Me Reyinald
twitchquotes:
Hola!! Me reyinald I work as big boss monkey for teem solo midlane. mi amigos es dyros he make big anger of me i call him rude chico beecuz i say u apollogize or u leave team house and work in potato factory mi other amigo es wildgato i make hem feel very sad becuz i tel u stop get catch in teemfiyt or u leave house and work for me as donkey wagon. also me amigo es xpecial i say u win bot or i use u hair for make new eyebrows for mi face. Pls no copy frappucino dis tacorino pastorinoο»Ώ
twitch chat
imaqtpie