[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

KFC v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⢉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⠀⠁⠀⠄⠀⠄⠀⠌⠉⠛ ⣟⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠐⠀⠐⠀⠐⠀ ⡟⠀⠀⠀⠒⠋⠉⠉⠈⠀⠉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠈⢀⠈⠀⠄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠖⢁⣠⣶⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣾⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀ ⠀⣀⣰⣾⡿⠁⢠⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣟⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣷⡿⣟⣿⣷⣷⠹⣿⡆⠀⠀⡀⠁ ⠘⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⡾⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽⣿⣽⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣾⡀⠸⣯⠀⠀⠀⠄ ⠀⣺⡿⠀⠀⢨⣟⣿⣽⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣽⣿⣽⣿⢿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡆⠈⠀⠀⠂⠀ ⠀⢺⡯⠀⠀⣼⢾⢻⠿⠻⠿⠽⣷⣿⣯⣿⠿⠚⠛⠙⠉⢈⣀⠠⠌⣀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠁ ⠀⠈⠟⢀⣀⢈⣀⠄⢀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠉⣉⣌⠀⢀⠀⠊⢑⣒⠈⠀⣸⣿⡀⣿⡀⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⠈⠁⠂⣩⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⣾⣿⣦⣼⣿⣾⣿⢿⡾⢀⣿⣟⣿⡯⠂⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣷⣿⣟⣿⡯⢿⢾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣻⣿⠃⠀⢀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣤⡿⣿⡾⠂⠰⡅⠓⡿⣿⡻⠃⣄⠈⠚⣽⣾⡿⣟⠛⠀⠀⠄⠀ ⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠐⠈⣿ ⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡦⠀⠐⠟⠋⠉⠉⣁⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡧⠀⠐⠀⢼⣿ ⠀⠁⡀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣉⣥⣤⣦⣶⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠒⠛⠛ ⠀⠄⠀⠐⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣮⣄⡦⠀⠀⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿⡛⠀⣄⠀⠈⠀⠂ ⠀⠠⠈⠀⠂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠛⠅⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⠷⠋⢀⣰⣿⡆⠠⣄⠀ ⠀⠄⠂⠐⠀⠁⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠎⠁⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⢸⡾⡀ ⠀⠠⠐⠀⠂⠁⠀⠀⠸⣾⣗⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⠏⠀⠤⠚⠛⣿⣿⣿⡃⣸⣿⠆ ⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⢿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⢧ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠨⣿⢦⠈⢿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⢢⣀⠐⢶⣽⣿⠏⣾⣿⣿⣯ ⣿⡳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣯⣷⡈⢻⣿⣿⡏⣴⡟⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣿⣦⣙⣿⣿⣻⠁⠀⣲⠀⠀⠹⠿⠟⠟⠛⠋⠋⢉⣉⡉ ⡇⠀⠀⠄⠂⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠋⠋⠉⠉⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡀⠄⢹⣿⠀⠌⣿⡇ ⣷⣄⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠄⠂⠐⠈⢀⠠⠀⢀⠠⢸⣿⡅⠀⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢀⠠⠀⠂⠁⠀⡀⠀⠄⠂⢀⠐⠀⠂⠀⡀⠄⢀⠀⠨⣿⣇⠀⢘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣐⠈⠀⡀⠄⠀⠂⢀⠠⠐⠀⠁⢀⠀⡀⠄⠂⣿⣷⡀⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣤⣤⣥⣀⣄⣀⣂⣈⣀⣠⣠⣤⣤⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿
August 2021

Pornhub

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⠀⢠⣤⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠿⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⣤⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠿⠿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠤⠤⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣄⡀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⢉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢉⣩⣭⣭⣭⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡟⠋⠉⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣾⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣾⣏⠀⠀⣹⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
August 2020

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

Let's build a ladder

twitchquotes: ╠═══╣Lets build a ladder╠═══╣
twitch chat
April 2015

Classic

NA HAS MCDONALDS EMPIRE

twitchquotes: EU HAS ROMAN EMPIRE LUL IND HAS CHINESE EMPIRE LUL AFR HAS MAMLUKS EMPIRE LUL NA HAS MCDONALDS EMPIRE LUL
twitch chat
July 2019

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing