Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
What happened to this ad? :(
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DO A MEME ALREADY
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DO A MEME ALREADY 
WE PAY YOU TO MEME SAY YOUR PHRASE
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imaqtpie
Yo Mama guy
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I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I sexually Identify as
Just as the founding fathers intended
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
copy: pastad
gamer head: on
knuckles: cracked
gaming goggles: on
arms: stretched
gamer girl pee: drinked
girlfriend: none
gay best friend: invited
wife: beaten
wife: cheated on
daughter: abandoned
child: destroyed
your mom: fucked
rockets: launched
funding: secured
anime: loved
Japan: nuked
HIV: positive
blood: donated
American genocide: denied
milf: hunted
milfs: lewded
babies: yeeted
emerald splash: deflated
society: segregated
Israel: destroyed
heroin: shot
milk: consumed
mother: donuted
father: robbed
identity: hidden
traitor: kakyoined
Italian drug trade: monopolized
masters: awaken
Caeser: killed
left wing: destroyed
lib: owned
hog: cranked
pants: shid
bottom: text
top: text
Hotel: Trivago
Hotel: Mario
Duke: Nukem
cer: armic
balls: crushed
balls: ligma
the imposter: sus
sussy: balls
Gucci: gang
Delivery: Digiorno
Peterbilt: gassed
Half: life
pog: gers
Vaporeon: cool 
edit: spelling
edit: spelling