[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Greetings Tyler1, I am the CEO of MacDonalds

twitchquotes: Greetings Tyler1, I am the CEO of MacDonalds, Big Mac-yler OpieOP . I am writing to you to see if you would be interested in working with us. We would like to harness the extreme amount of salt from your body and use it in our fries. Please reply ASAP.
twitch chat
May 2016
Tyler1

salty

mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021

KAPOW

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⢀⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠀⢠⣾⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢠⣶⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⢀⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣾⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣸⣿⣯⣴⢿⣿⣿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠹⡿⢣⣿⡿⠋⠀⠘⠛⠁⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣿⠀⣾⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣤⣶⣾⣷⣆⠀⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⣰⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⠟⠉⣸⡿⢣⣾⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣠⡴⠟⢡⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⢀⣴⡿⠃⠀⠟⠋⠁⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
October 2020

sodaG

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⠒⢄⡀⠄⠄⢹⣄⣇⣀⣸⣷⣄⣦⠈⡿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣙⡦⠒⠹⠄⠇⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣀⣠⡞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠞⠛⠉⠉⠋⠄⠿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⠄⠄⣴⠟⠉⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠿⠉⠁⢀⣀⠴⠄⡸ ⠄⢰⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠄⠄⢀⣴⠞⢻⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠁⠄⠄⡰⠁ ⠄⠄⡻⣿⣿⣿⠿⡡⠃⠄⠄⣼⣇⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠊⠄⠄ ⢀⠎⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢠⣿⡇⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡜⠄⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠯⠭⠚⠁⠄⠄⠛⣣⣦⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢇⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⣿⣯⡟⣾⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠔⠒⠒⠋⣽⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠒⠤⢄⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⡄⢰⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021
sodapoppin

Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him 😔
January 2021

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