Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad
twitchquotes:
Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! 
The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere.
Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere.
twitch chat
80 billion dollars in twitch stocks
twitchquotes:
4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
Hello Miguel Santander, this is your cat, Mellow Cat
twitchquotes:
Hello Miguel Santander, this is your cat, Mellow Cat, I heard that you were complaining about my excesive meowing. I dont complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub 
twitch chat
imaqtpie
We truly do live in a society
twitchquotes:
I only have Joker art, because I'm so oppressed by society 
I'm a fucking chad, me and joker are practically the same person, I relate to him so much. We both hate society and people. We both want to see the world burn. And we both think all women are lying bitches, no this is not because I don't have a gf, they all think me living in my mom's basement at 30 is cute! >:( We truly do live in a society.
I'm a fucking chad, me and joker are practically the same person, I relate to him so much. We both hate society and people. We both want to see the world burn. And we both think all women are lying bitches, no this is not because I don't have a gf, they all think me living in my mom's basement at 30 is cute! >:( We truly do live in a society.
twitch chat
The unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
Kripp