[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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It can never be opposite day

It can never be opposite day. When ever you say "HEY IT'S OPPOSITE DAY!" the opposite would apply therefor it would not be opposite day. Also if you say "IT'S NOT OPPOSITE DAY!" the affect is not applied.
February 2021

So you start reading a copy pasta...

twitchquotes: So you start reading a copy pasta... wondering when it will get good. It's a large wall of text, there must be something of substance somewhere in here, right? You scroll up to stop the chat elevator so you can finish reading it. But then you realize... It's just a waste of your time. It's just a large wall of text that is completely useless. It's a waste of everyone's time... Regardless, you highlight the text, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V and hit Enter...
twitch chat
November 2016

Rick

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⡄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣠⣤⣤⡤⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣅⣀⣀⣌⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⢶⡌⢻⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣧⣶⣦⣄⢀⣤⣶⣦⣄⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀ ⠀⣰⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁ ⠀⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠻⠿⠟⡃⠀⠻⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⣿⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠾⠿⣿⡀⠀⠀⣇⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠙⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣼⡧⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣍⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠈⠽⢷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⠀⢠⣿⡍⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠉⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣡⢽⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠃⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣸⢼⡽⣿⣷⣄⢰⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⣷⣶⡄⢠⠎⠀⠀⣰⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⡄⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⢀⡇⠀⣰⠋⠀⣤⣼⠏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣷⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⣇⣵⠃⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢹⡆⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⣠⣾⣿⠻⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣤⡾⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
April 2020

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Our Greatest Gratitude for Your Invaluable Advice

twitchquotes: On behalf of the streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable advice for this hardstuck challenger player, since he is never able to make proper itemization choices on his own! Your participation in making this channel and streamers game better, will never be forgotten!
twitch chat
May 2022

League of Legends

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