You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Brofist
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Kripp
It makes no sense!
twitchquotes:
I don't know why people have to copy/paste other people messages. It makes no sense!
twitch chat
I'm an elite smash pro
twitchquotes:
Excuse me??? I'll have you know that I'm an elite smash pro in the smash ultimate leaderboards kid. I'm not gonna take any sort of disrespect from you, I've carved a name for myself in smash history bud. You're a nobody, Sakurai personally looks at all my matches to balance the game and I could get you shitty main nerfed to the floor if I fucking wanted to so watch your back you nobody.
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
With Intel Core i7, hes just getting started
twitchquotes:
Think he cant clutch through a smoke while recording in full resolution and streaming the play to the world? Watch this. Think u cant get famous in a flash like become your own meme famous? Watch this. Think hes been there, done that? With Intel Core i7, hes just getting started.
twitch chat
RIP Joe the Spider
I know this is really stupid but Iβm sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. Iβm a girl who lives alone so I guess some βdudeβ stuff hasnβt been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. Heβs a dandy long leg. Heβs been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said βyouβre welcomeβ. Iβm super confused. So I ask βfor what?β He says βI just killed a big ass spider for youβ.
I couldnβt even contain myself. I just yelled βYOU KILLED JOE?!β And started tearing up. I didnβt tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. Heβs a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joeβs trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.