You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My name is Kixelated
twitchquotes:
Hi, my name is Kixelated, you might know me from the 3rd division of the 22nd branch of Twitchâs official Nazi party. I am here to use my powers as one of the most important men of the our beloved Nazi party to ban all twitch MODERATORS that arenât doing their job. You are supposed to prevent communism from spreading by banning all of the one man spammers, but instead, you are exactly like them. I want to let you know that you guys are fired
twitch chat
Forsen
MODS
Among Us concerned father
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game âAmong Usâ after playing it on his computer. While i didnât mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susâ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said âkickedâ. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heâll âejectâ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripâ, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a âcrewmateâ. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use âventâ to get there. I donât know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
Among Us / Amogus
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. âWhat?â you ask absentmindedly. Youâre looking at Futures, and youâre surprised to see them red.
âI want you to play with me.â She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnât totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, âI want to do that more.â
But youâve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. âUh huh,â you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donât realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donât say a word because you donât notice.
She hasnât left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
Stop making fun of NA
twitchquotes:
Stop making fun of NA, we are the second best wildcard this year and it took these players work and dedication to stand next to real teams from real regions. This is a step closer for NA to be recognized as the best wildcard region.
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
EU vs NA
NO POMEGRANATES
Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!!
NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!!
NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!!
Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it.
Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...