[Copypasta] You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; β€˜Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say β€˜no’ I reply with β€˜are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021

Let's build a wall chat

twitchquotes: Let's build a wall chat KKona β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄β”€
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

Tall Dog

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘
December 2019

ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP

twitchquotes: As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for some female to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP. Think about it logically.
twitch chat
November 2020

Simps

RIP the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) i remember when seeing The Female Barbarian's Face in my Twitch TV Followers List made me happy inside to see the Kripparrian streaming, and see him farm endless hours of D3 or PoE, but now I just think of that succubus girlfriends he has and all the dogs barking and NAZIS shouting, RIP The Kripparrian ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing