You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
NA is just so free
twitchquotes:
As an European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so fucking free.
twitch chat
Riot Games
Classic
League of Legends
EU vs NA
This guy's pasta is CRAZY!
twitchquotes:
☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly
twitchquotes:
Kripp! Its Andrew from that college party last year. Man I haven't seen you in forever! How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly after beating up that defenseless hooker?!
twitch chat
Kripp
find yourself a man that respects you
twitchquotes:
Poor [female streamer name here], she always has to deal with these idiots. if I was her boyfriend she would get treated like the queen she is. I would never embarass her especially not in front of other people. This is disgusting. [female streamer name here] if you are reading this just get away from these morons and find yourself a man that respects you.
twitch chat
Simps
Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL
twitchquotes:
Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!"
And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero."
I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler."
He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
twitch chat