[Copypasta] My eyes are open

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ MY EYES, ARE OPEN ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Kripp 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢠⣾⣷⣔⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⣀⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣧⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣯⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣼⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣶⣄⠼⠶⣖⣶⣼⣿⣿⣾⣶⣔⣀⣓⣦⣿⣿⣿⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢪⣄⣤⠄⠐⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠉⠛⠢⣽⣾⡿⠄⠘⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠈⠹⣧⣀⣠⡤⠴⠶⠶⠶⢦⣴⣤⣤⣿⠃⠁⢠⣮⡟⢰⣿⢟⣽ ⣿⢙⢮⣻⣿⡁⠄⠄⠉⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⡀⣀⣼⣿⡿⢻⠂⠄⢠⣿⣿⢁⣿⢃⣿⣿ ⣦⡐⣼⣿⣿⣧⠄⡗⣄⡀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠚⠛⠋⠋⠄⢀⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿
November 2020
Kripp

Kripp will never, ever click the button

twitchquotes: Kripp will never, ever click the button. The expansions will release at a faster rate than he can collect dust. Much like the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the button is merely a carrot Kripp dangles in front of his viewers without any intention of actually delivering. This is blatantly obvious - he even admits he doesn't bother to calculate because he knows he'll never click it. We will spam this pasta until the button has been clicked.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing