[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!

twitchquotes: My mom just walked into my room and asked why I was watching a documentary on Hitlers top officers. I told her "No mom it's just twitch chat mods" She called me a Jew hater and burned a Swastika into my forehead.
twitch chat
August 2014
Trump

Kripp starts a salt mine

twitchquotes: As Kripp frantically tries to fix his router and internet issues. The stays dedicated and vigilante. After trying to fix these issues that arose at hand he finally came to realize that this was all worth nothing. He stopped fixing the issues and threw his computer out the window. He started up a Salt Mining company in the Himalayan mountains called Kripp Salt. He is starting a family and all is well. Thanks Kripp. BibleThump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

EZ Clap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣌⠙⠫⠛⢋⣭⣤⣤⣤⣤⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢡⣾⣿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡳⠆⢻⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠒⠄⢶⣶⣶⣾⡿⠶⠒⠲⠌⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⣡⢨⣝⡻⠿⣿⢛⣩⡵⠞⡫⠭⠭⣭⠭⠤⠈⠭⠒⣒⠩⠭⠭⣍⠒⠈⠛ ⡿⢁⣾⣿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣬⡉⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣿⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⣤⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⡶⢇⣰⣿⣿⣟⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢛⡛⠿⠿⣿⣧⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⡿⠿⠦⣤⣈⣙⡛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⡀⢻⣿ ⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣙⠳⠶⢶⣤⣍⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⢒⣛⣛⠁⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣈⣉⣛⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠟⢋⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠃⠄⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢬⣭⣭⡶⠖⣢⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿
January 2020

Pepe

Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire

twitchquotes: Hello "Kripparrian", this is *** Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire. I hear you are starting a cooking show "Papparrian & Lil' Kripp's kitchen" and I would like to send you my special pasta recipe to get you started you lil fucker. cheers mate. Please no copy tagliolini, serious business
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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