[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Logan Paul Japanese Forest

ay yo what's up #logang today we're going to be heading in the #japanesesuicideforest here in japan, but first of all make sure to smash that like button, share this video, and subscribe for more vlogs like this one right here, also make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram google +, and like my page on facebook and pintrest. before heading in here i just wanna say suicide is not a joke but is that a dead body i'm not fucking with ya'll let's get the camera in there. as you can see this person is dead if you don't want to end up like him make sure you stay subscribed you know he probably ain't have no friends but if your in the #logang you know logan is your best friend haha chilling anyways thanks for watching guys and i won't be monetizing this video but make sure to check out my merch in the description, and dont forget to like share and subscribe and peace out #logang haha
December 2018

Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

DONGERS initiative

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Hello Kripparrian, this is Agent Saltson, from the Secret Hearthstone Information Education and Luck Division. I need to talk to you about the D.O.N.G.E.R.S Initiative. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Jared we need to talk, are you boosted?

twitchquotes: "Jared we need to talk" said QT sitting down at the table. "We think you have a problem" said Dom. " are you boosted?" they asked in unison. Jared began to break down and cry as he looked at his D3 account. "I dont think I'll ever get to play with you guys again unless I do" said Jared. "Quit being a *** pussy" said Dom and QT as Jared eyed the glock on the table next to them.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

SMOrc

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣯⣽⣶⣶⣾⣕⣝⣧⣣⢫⡋⡿⠿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢖⢬⣍⠻⣿⣿⡜⢧⠑⣴⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⠐⠻⣿⣿⣟⣛⡻⠶⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢿⣿⣿⢙⠛⣃⠬⢄⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣚⣏⣴⢟⣟⠁⣰⠀⡇⣄⣽⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣶⡾⠿⢻⣿⣿⡛⠋⠁⣠⢏⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡘⡜⡿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⡿⣿⢻⡧⢀⡞⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣷⢁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⣼⣳⢿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⣶⣍⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠀⢶⠂⠶⠀⠄⠄⡤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠈⣿⣿⠟⠀⣰⡇⢀⡀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠉⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠼⠷⢿⣇⢸⣷⡀⣾⡆⣾⣷⠠⡿⠆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣽⣿⣷⣿⡿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣈⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣯⣭⣯⣭⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠛⠛⠁⠈⠉⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing