Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.."
It's tits. It's always fucking tits.
This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something?
"I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants."
I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
NOW WE RIOT
twitchquotes:
୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ NOW WE RIOT ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ NOW WE RIOT ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ NOW WE RIOT ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ NOW WE RIOT ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ NOW WE RIOT ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
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Kripp
୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ riot ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME!
STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT, MY FRIENDS ON TIK TOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD ITS FUCKING MEMES. I was in a server, right? AND ALL OF THE CHANNELS ARE JUST SQUID GAME STUFF. I SHOWED MY NEW TRACKSUIT TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND I SAID "hey babe, I'm on squid game." HAHA MUGUNGHWA KKOCHI PIOTASEUMNIDA, I FUCKING LOOKED AT A MAN GETTING SHOT AND SAID, "Uh oh, he failed this game!" I LOOKED AT THE HEAD OF MY PENIS, I THINK OF THE SUPERVISOR'S MASK AND I GO "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUPERVISOR," AAAAAAAAA
Squid Game
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Classic
AYAYA 2
⡿⠋⠄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⠻⣿⣿
⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠹
⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆
⡟⢻⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣣⠄⡀⢬⣭⣻⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠃⣸⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣆⢹⣿⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢻⡇⠄⢛⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠹⣿⣆⠸⣆⠙⠛⠛⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠸⣡⠄⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⣠⣉⣤⣴⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿
⠄⡄⢿⣆⠰⡘⢿⣿⠿⢛⣉⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠟⣉⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⡄⣿⡿⢸
⠄⢰⠸⣿⠄⢳⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⡇⢸
⢷⡈⢣⣡⣶⠿⠟⠛⠓⣚⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⠇⠘
⡀⣌⠄⠻⣧⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠘⠄⠄
⣷⡘⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣾⡆⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣷⡘⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⢀
⣿⣿⣷⡈⢷⡀⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⠾⠿⠟⣛⣋⣥⣶⣄⠄⢀⣄⠹⣦⢹⣿