[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

Undertale Sans

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
March 2016

DONGER TO ME

twitchquotes: βŠΉβ‹›β‹‹( ΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆ )β‹Œβ‹šβŠΉ DONGER TO ME, SQWAAK βŠΉβ‹›β‹‹( ΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆ )β‹Œβ‹šβŠΉ
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, β€œWhy, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but he kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

69 is very funny.

Haha 69. It's funny because 69ing, or doing 69, is sharing oral sex with your partner; in other words, it’s giving and receiving oral sex at the same time. Oral sex is when people use their mouths to stimulate another person’s genitals. Oral sex on a woman is called β€œcunnilingus.” On a man it’s called β€œfellatio.” Anyone β€” girl or guy β€” can give or receive oral sex as long as she or he is comfortable with it and wants to engage in in oral sex. Oral sex cannot cause pregnancy. But it can pass on infections, whether the person is giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Oral sex is generally less risky for these infections than unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is still some risk. Using a barrier can reduce the risks. For safer oral sex, use a condom to cover the penis, or a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus. In reference to the sex position, "69" has become an internet meme, where users will respond to any occurrence of the number with the word "nice" and draw specific attention to it. This means to sarcastically imply that the reference to the sex position was intentional. Because of its association with the sex position and resulting meme, "69" has become known as "the sex number" in certain communities.
January 2022

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing