[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

Navy Seal

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: เผผโ–€ฬฟ ฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟเผฝ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. เผผโ–€ฬฟ ฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟเผฝ
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

Just seen Biden in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering โ€œcount every voteโ€ over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Among Us In Real Life Song Lyrics (Emojipasta)

AMONG ๐Ÿ˜ณ US ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ IN ๐Ÿ˜ฑ REAL ๐Ÿ˜ต LIFE ๐Ÿ’ฉ SUS ๐Ÿ“ฎ SUS AMONG ๐Ÿ˜ณ US ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ IN ๐Ÿ˜ฑ REAL ๐Ÿ˜ต LIFE ๐Ÿ’ฉ SUS ๐Ÿ“ฎ SUS PLAYING ๐Ÿˆ AMONG ๐Ÿ’€ US ๐Ÿ˜ก IN ๐Ÿค— REAL ๐Ÿค  LIFE SPACESHIP ๐Ÿš€ WITH ๐Ÿ‘พ MY ๐Ÿ‘… CREW GOTTA ๐Ÿฅท๐Ÿฟ SPLIT ๐Ÿ˜š UP ๐Ÿคก SPREAD โ‰๏ธ OUT ๐Ÿ“ฎCUZ ๐Ÿ˜ƒ WE ๐Ÿ˜‹ ALL ๐Ÿ˜ GOT ๐Ÿ˜ฏ TASKS ๐Ÿ‘ป TO ๐Ÿ‘ฝ DO GOTTA ๐Ÿ‘ฟ FIND ๐Ÿ‘บ THE ๐Ÿคง IMPOSTER ๐Ÿคซ AS ๐Ÿ‘€ THEY ๐Ÿ›– TRY ๐Ÿ—ฟ TO ๐Ÿ›ถ SA๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธOTAGE WHO ๐Ÿ“ฎCAN ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ WE ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท TRUST ๐Ÿ˜‚ IN ๐Ÿคช THIS ๐Ÿคฏ AMONG ๐Ÿคญ US ๐Ÿคฃ ENTOURAGE.
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing