[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What is so funny about copypasta?

What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
January 2020

All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM

twitchquotes: 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 Hear, hear. All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM, the First of His Name, The One With No Life, King of Wraeclast, Prince of the Docks, Papparrian of the First Men, Emperor of the Great Sarn Sea, Breaker of DeSync, and Father of Cattarian, RIP, First and Last of His Name. 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I鈥檓 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Let's. Make. Some. Pasta.

twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing