[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Chess is too basic for Kripp

twitchquotes: "Well," Kripp drawled, a toothy grin splitting his face, "I think chess is a little too basic a game for me. I mean, only 6 different types of pieces? It's a game for children. No strategy whatsoever" That said, he proceeded to chortle as his opponents Huffer triggered his effigy, creating a Nexus Champion Sarad. "Outplayed."
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Raid Shadow Legends ad script

twitchquotes: RAID: Shadow Legendsℒ️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legendsℒ️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legendsℒ️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legendsℒ️ devs.
twitch chat
November 2020

V for Vendatta

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
September 2021

Math is "mental abuse to humans"

twitchquotes: You know how some people say that math is β€œmental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: β€œMath” is an abbreviation for β€œmathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for β€œexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

The ogrelord. Shrek.

November 2014

Shrek

Text-to-Speech Playing