[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The prodigal son has returned

twitchquotes: Papparin opens the door to see a hobo squating outside his house. He hugs the lankey figure and tears drip onto a Diablo 2 shirt that has seen better times. "Tonight we feast," Papparin says as he begins to prepare a meal of falafel. Kripp flops down on his bed, surrounded by empty OJ cartons from a year ago. The prodigal son has returned.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Happy toilet paper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠒⠒⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⡼⢿⣷⡝⡄⢨⣿⣯⡑⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⣷⣾⣿⢃⠇⠸⣬⣿⡇⠇⡇⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⠈⢻⠟⠁⠀⠈⠛⠿⠝⠃⠸⡀⠀⠀⠣⣀⡠⠎⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣗⢀⠠⠤⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡙⢢⢀⣠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡍⢻⠙⠲⠶⠶⠖⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢷⣤⣬⣍⣱⣶⣶⠖⠉⠹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠢⢏⣐⣋⣩⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠉⠀⠒⠂⠀⠤⠄⢀⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠉⠉⠙⢧⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠙⠢⠤⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2020

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

TSM AKA "Throws Six Matches"

twitchquotes: TSM AKA "Throws Six Matches" is a North American team known for their questionable play and inability to win a game. They are currently found in Gate 06 of the Shanghai Pudong Airport making up excuses for not winning a single game at Worlds.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
June 2022

Morbius

Text-to-Speech Playing