[Copypasta] I just lost my virginity and said Poggers

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers Ok so we were flirting and he took of his pants and started to rub his bulge then he pulls his dick out, I dead ass said “ that’s pretty pog” he then broke up with me after we were done 💀
July 2021
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Joe Rogan is obsessed with cooking meat over fire

I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I'm hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.
January 2022

Joe Rogan

Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Kripp and Larry Page, CEO of Google

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, Lᴀʀʀʏ Pᴀɢᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, CEO ᴏғ Gᴏᴏɢʟᴇ. Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴘʏʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ Eɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ™. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

Hey Kripp, you didnt give me recognition

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing