[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020

I am new to GitHub and I have lots to say

I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE FUCKING CODE! i just want to download this stupid fucking application and use it https://github.com/sherlock-project/sherlock#installation WHY IS THERE CODE??? MAKE A FUCKING .EXE FILE AND GIVE IT TO ME. these dumbfucks think that everyone is a developer and understands code. well i am not and i don't understand it. I only know to download and install applications. SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE CODE? make an EXE file and give it to me. STUPID FUCKING SMELLY NERDS
February 2024

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

So you call these things "chips"?

So you call these things "chips"? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n pop westpoolchestershireshire queen's lovely jubily delights? That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruv
December 2020

The Bola

twitchquotes: QT this is your Dr. It seems your subs have all gotten not only "The Bola" but also type 2 diabetes. I believe it is the combination of missed arrows and you to wanting become a pizza. Stop before you also get The Bola.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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