[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
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More Copypastas

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Among Us mini crewmate sitting

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣼⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⢉⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⣿⣿⣇⣀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2020

Among Us / Amogus

WHEN DOES NA PLAY?

twitchquotes: WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hello Reynad, this is your Mother

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you are going out with this new boy. I am very concerned. I dont like that Bro-Fister Kripp and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. Whatever happened to that Tides boy? He had the nicest smile. Please copy paste this message so that my daughter can see this. -.--.-
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Missing shots

twitchquotes: 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I got him ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Pepega ▄︻┻═━一 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🦌 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 󠀀
twitch chat
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing