OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didnβt wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRONππππππππππππππ
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank
twitchquotes:
Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...
twitch chat
WARDELL
Valorant
Is today the day when I finally end it all?
twitchquotes:
Is today the day when I should finally end it all? β 
π«
Is today the day when I should finally end it all? β π«
twitch chat
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"β₯β₯β₯β₯ you β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Reynad is the math teacher and I am a sexy lifeguard boy
twitch chat
Reynad
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health. We have received reports of excessive 
production on your Twitch channel. You are a toxic individual and are hereby classified a Class A threat to national security. Please turn yourself in at the nearest 
station to be deported.
production on your Twitch channel. You are a toxic individual and are hereby classified a Class A threat to national security. Please turn yourself in at the nearest station to be deported.
twitch chat
Kripp