[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Now we are Robot Operated - Omnic Crisis

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Genji Outdated MrDestructoid Ana Overrated MrDestructoid Tanks Downgraded MrDestructoid Now we are Robot Operated
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

69 is very funny.

Haha 69. It's funny because 69ing, or doing 69, is sharing oral sex with your partner; in other words, it’s giving and receiving oral sex at the same time. Oral sex is when people use their mouths to stimulate another person’s genitals. Oral sex on a woman is called “cunnilingus.” On a man it’s called “fellatio.” Anyone — girl or guy — can give or receive oral sex as long as she or he is comfortable with it and wants to engage in in oral sex. Oral sex cannot cause pregnancy. But it can pass on infections, whether the person is giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Oral sex is generally less risky for these infections than unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is still some risk. Using a barrier can reduce the risks. For safer oral sex, use a condom to cover the penis, or a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus. In reference to the sex position, "69" has become an internet meme, where users will respond to any occurrence of the number with the word "nice" and draw specific attention to it. This means to sarcastically imply that the reference to the sex position was intentional. Because of its association with the sex position and resulting meme, "69" has become known as "the sex number" in certain communities.
January 2022

NSFW

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

I hope you enjoy being tucked

twitchquotes: The year was 1999. A much younger trump was getting ready for bed when his mother entered the room. "Sweetums, it's much past your bedtime!" she chides. Obediently, Trump climbs into bed. As his mother lovingly lays the covers over him, she whispers "I hope you enjoy being tucked."
twitch chat
February 2015
Trump

As Kripp installed the minecraft

twitchquotes: ᴀs ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪɴsᴛᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇᴄʀᴀғᴛ ɪ ʜᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɢɢᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ·ᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇs. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏʟɪғᴇ. ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏʟɪғᴇ. ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing